my likes-- when its raining and im walking to the bus and my pants get all wet and make this soggy sound, going to school, the feeling of accomplishment when i punch out at work, finishing a book, the way music makes me think, how pennies make my hands smell, listening to people talk about themselves, the smell of laundry detergent and marshmellows ( Read more... )

Today I started my new job. I love it. It was so so, so, sosososo amazing. I actually want to back. They all joked around with me and made me feel "welcome". So its good. At least something is good. I'm so excited to work tomorrow...well today.

Right now his away message says "Blazin'"

Why does he do this. I am so fucking worried.

So, I'm trying to figure myself out. Because I realized that I don't even know who I am. But it sucks. Now I wish I could stop. Knowing I mean. Its almost worse, knowing and not being able to do anything about it ( Read more... )

Everything is just bad bad bad. I got a job and he's mad at me about it. Mad. he dosnt like doing things for like gving me a ride or picking me up. It makes him mad. So he yells. But I'll take it. Why? I have no idea. Because I deserve it maybe. Because I wish I could be better. And do better. I just want to be someone. Something. I mean, he dosnt ( Read more... )

Thank you Laura. You have no idea what you have done for me. No one has ever taken this much time to make sure I'm okay. To help me. Thank you.

No one else knows. No one else understands. Only him. Only him.

I wish I could tell him, ask him for help. He would know what to do. But he has bigger things. Better things. Bigger and better than me.

Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy. I mean...I have to put a blade to my skin just to feel okay. Just to stop the pain for one minute. Just to feel GOOD. How is this not crazy?

I wish I was better. For you. I want to be everything you ever wanted.I thought about you a lot today. I think I love you. You're always on my mind.

Forever&Always.

I hate to think of you ( Read more... )