Do you know what I really hate? How i get jealous of pauls family. Because he's got the family I always wanted. My family was perfect and then every male possible had to leave. Every male possible had to get as far away from me as possible. Its like a curse. Every man I love is gonna leave me. So why should I even bother with love anymore? why ( Read more... )

What an eventful night which has resulted in what seems like Paul being extremely weird with me. I should have known. Its like we're Edie and Dylan in diary of a crush, meant for each other but stuck thinking about the reasons we shouldn't be together. Or maybe thats just what i wish. Had a good night at camel. Laura made me smile, telling me I was ( Read more... )

I get yelled at for talking about tom....then i get people asking me if my names are about tom ( Read more... )

I will never listen to the backstreet boys again. for as long as i live. They are mine and his, and should we get back together. then I'll listen to them. but until that day, should it ever come. I am no longer the backstreet boys biggest fan.

Why should I bother ( Read more... )

Well its upon us, the weekend where me and paul will spend the best part of four days together, with only each other (and wrestling fans we dont know) for company ( Read more... )

We're as bad as each other, both expecting the other not to flirt with other people despite the fact we know we love each other and then both hating it when they do and yet do it ourselves. i didnt enjoy watching sammy massage pauls shoulders while he massaged carries. he barely massaged me when we were together. i dont do things like ask for ( Read more... )

I feel like i need a reason to carry on with this life. Day by day goes by and the hope of being back with paul grows fainter and fainter. I'm miserable without him and to cap it all off with work not paying me right. I feel so let down and so stupid and just so tired of all this crap. I don't wanna die but I ain't keen on living either. not that ( Read more... )

I still wanna be his number one. I'm not even his number 2 ( Read more... )

My friends say we'll get back together, just give it time. But nothings certain. He asked me to wait for him to sort his mind out, but what if at the end of it he really doesn't want me ( Read more... )