despite everything, i still really want to be friends. the kind of friends that get together all of the time. that hang out and drink beer and watch great movies cause they are both so awesome and know kids who own 250 dvds.
sometimes i wish there had never been the sex part. and im not saying that it wasnt good, cause it was, but just that maybe ( Read more... )

last night, i come home to lay in bed and attempt to read some pathetically sad book about genocide for class at 745 this morning.
i guess i had fallen asleep and rolled over.
i was awakened by the overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke and french vanilla coffee.
and i couldnt sleep much after that.
i dont know that i am ready to lose that smell...

do not open up to people.

i have to keep reminding myself of this. i am trusting the wrong person with the wrong information about myself. and i thought that it was a good thing and it was received as well as it could be, considering the bleakness of its nature, and i thought that it would mean something or anything to him because it explains ( Read more... )

be able to handle something more evolved than a superficial friendship based on blurry drunken nights where you can barely remember my name or if we used a condom.
if you don't want to talk about something, then don't talk to me about it. but don't not talk to me at all.
thanks a lot.
i wasted a lot of minutes of my life caring and worrying about you.
( Read more... )

zombies.
=)

...next time i go anywhere, i'll be flashing gang colors.
good to know: i still have it.

tell her you love her
in all of the ways that you can't:
beyond all rationality and against
the advice of your friends, you
love her in ways that make
you sick inside.
you love her more than
is ever healthy for you.
in ways that are unfair --
you love her enough to get
hurt again. sacrifices are
no longer burdened with the
weight of regret. and if for one ( Read more... )

we hurt in ways that you cannot fathom
we do not ask for your understanding
but your acceptance
allow us to hurt
mourn
grieve and cry
for the loss of innocence
and the end of irresponsible
and irrational thought
that has thus far marked
the passage from day to night
come out as the sun fades
and the dusk covers the soft grass
in a layer of gray so ( Read more... )

FEAR: False Evidence that Appears Real

You survive in Harvard Medical School by creating your own shortcuts, devices and tools to aid you in memorization. My first year here, some loner kid in my anatomy class spent the entire semester in the back row, creating a rap using the name of every bone in the human skeletal system for the final; I ( Read more... )

How to Become a Successful Writer

Do not write. Do not write, about people, or about life events. Do not meet people. Do not meet people, because they will give you ideas for stories. Do not talk to people who are interesting or unique. Do not talk to people about their lives, because these are just plot lines you should never ( Read more... )

the past few days have been utterly depressing and lonely. i've been listening to the same songs on repeat. i can't focus on work. my hair is falling out. altogether, i am a mess. but i guess we all knew  this was coming ( Read more... )