I sense a disturbance in the force.

[y0ur_c0nscience]

So, just how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

This isn't rhetorical, if you can read it, ANSWER IT.

//Nothing follows

Comments

Note to yourself, A99 will be the death of you.

[y0ur_c0nscience]

For the sake of pretending to be in 3rd person at the current moment, I will answer my own question seeing how there is no wrong or right answer.

I say that orange peels generate a negative gravitational field that when added with the circumference of 5 day old sausage (NOT to be confuzzled with 5 day old sausages,as in 5 of them each being over the age of one complete rotation of the Earth) and divided by the trajectory of a squirrel frozen in liquid nitrogen (Foreshadowing!) and fired through a potato gun with a subsonic propellant ( X < 760mph) and shot at a 45 degree angle for maximum range efficiency at a block of composite B (cyclotrimethylene trinitramine RDX) and mixed with 1% by weight of plasticizer and wax and 33% volume of trinitrotolulene for an initial exploding gas speed of 180,000 miles an hour multiplied by the amount of times a beaver can run around a 4x4 block of cheese and given the reciprocal of X, where X = to how many cilia line the nostrils of a rare African hippopotamus that has eaten ice cream sandwiches for

[y0ur_c0nscience]

Damn, hard to argue with that one. Hell, Chuck Norris chucks wood chucks. How many? All of them.

[_rkv_]

My edumacated answer would say, they would chuck 0 amounts of wood.
It says "If a wood chuck COULD chuck wood" so thats means they cant, which means you get 0 amounts.

Or, another answer would be 0 again, because they would be to attached to this video (like I am for some ungodly reason) to chuck any wood -

[_rkv_]

I think I botched that first part, and look like an ass for it. I dunno. Im really tired right now.
But dammit that is a catchy tune ! AHHHHHHHH !!

[_rkv_]

No no no, I got it now.
It says If they could chuck wood, so that means they wouldnt chuck any at all because they dont know how. If you ask, what if they could, its still 0, because you have nothing to base it off of.
Yeah thats it !
Im goin to bed now.

[y0ur_c0nscience]

Holy Shitfuck, that was catchy.

Your answer amuses me.

[apirka]

I don't believe that wood chucks could throw (chuck) much wood or chuck it very far because they have little arms! And think of the splinters, man!

:p

[y0ur_c0nscience]

If you get splinters, field mice infect them and crawl through your veins into your heart where they explode into more field mice and you DIE.

[apirka]

I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!

but I like meeses...

[y0ur_c0nscience]

The meeses are what kill you though.

[lostrealist_05]

If a woodchuck was granted magical powers one day to chuck some wood, I'm going to say he's going to chuck none.

Animals live by instinct and if they had no reason to chuck it before, then why would they do it now?

[y0ur_c0nscience]

if he was granted MAGICAL powers in the first place, why wouldn't he chuck wood? I thin he would utilize magic powers, wouldn't you? I mean, if I was given the power to turn people's drinking water into piss, I would surely use it every chance I can.

[lostrealist_05]

I still don't think he'd realize he had them.
Animals are smart, yes. But unlike humans, they live by instinct. If he had no reason to chuck wood before, why do it now?

Take my cat for instance. He was born with "thumbs". And he uses them like a person. He picks up stuff with them. He opens doors with them. ETC. If he wasn't born with them and they automatically appeared one day, I doubt he would use them like he does now.