It's nice being able to be the one to decide things for once. I don't know how I got stuck with this but it works. I'm wearing some of my own clothes and it feels so good! Maybe soon I can start us eating real good foods instead of the crap Jessie has been putting into our body.

Last night, for some unknown reason, Jessie went away. She's come back on and off but right now I'm stuck taking care of the baby at 6 am. I don't know how to feel about this other than the fact that now I'm a little more free to explore the spoon site lol ( Read more... )

I have not been allowed out lately because Jessie is afraid. She fears the unknown more than she lets on. More than she should. The future is changing and I can feel it. She fears that change. I welcome it. Even if it means the end of all we know. Of all we were raised to believe in. It's comming and we cannot stop it. Not with a thousand ( Read more... )

Heard a message on our answering machine from a distant friend. Wonder if he is OK? Need to talk to him soon...

~Yaro and Corina

I haven't been up to much lately. There is another in our system who has been self-abusive. So, Jessie has been kind of obsessed about that and it's made her a bit of a control freak. The scratches almost don't look real.

I should go. I'm really exhausted. Just wanted to post a little update before I do.

Nothing much has been happening lately. I have a strong desire to start working out again. However, the only time I'm able to come out AND put the baby down long enough to do anything, the roommate is downstairs with her son trying to get him to sleep. The kid freaks out if we go down there for any reason. So, I don't get to do any of the ( Read more... )

Sometimes i wish I didn't have any of these body obligations. Like a husband and children for instance. I don't mind children, and these two are just fine. But, they're a part of my life that I never asked for. The husband is OK too. But, I can never think of him as mine because I never asked for him. I wasn't the one who dated him. I'm not ( Read more... )

Cara's gone. For now. Silenced so she cannot cause any more trouble. For now. It's hard to say but I'm glad it was done. Things were just too messy. I don't look forward to her return. Hopefully though that won't be for a long while. Enough time for us to become stronger. More capable. More able. Or maybe, just maybe, more.

I'm feeling better today. Though I still don't have the clothes I want. But, that will just have to wait. Jessie was adamant about me not spending any money until after we all move. Somewhere near the beach hopefully. I'm trying to influence that. Not too hard since I'm not the only one who wants to go there.

I'm looking for a connection. Someone I can relate to. I'm surfing the net and finding nothing. And IRC chat with alters would be nice but good luck there. I feel the need to just find...something. I can't explain it. I want to meet others like myself or even those who aren't like me but I can meet as myself. I feel an intense need to just ( Read more... )