The First Day of the Rest of My Life.
ATTENTION: This post contains graphic descriptions of such topics including, but not limited to, the vagina, childbirth, foreskin, and feces. Also, within this post you may find soft, mushy, emotional bullshit heretofore unseen from the author. Reader discretion is advised and encouraged. Consider yourself warned.
( Enter if you daaaaaare! )
( Enter if you daaaaaare! )
Comments 5
Man, I read this whole thing and there was no mention of foreskin anywhere!
a bail bonds shop in Hawaii.
Now I've never been, but it seems to me that this would be the best place in the world to be a bondsman. If someone skips out, they're probably going to be pretty easy to catch. Shit, they can't go more than 50 (?, I have no idea to be honest, so I'll just make up a number here) miles without SERIOUS effort. It's got to be like shooting fish in a barrel.
How can I be asked to raise a kid AND lead the Falcons to victory?
Clearly, you can't! That's what Tam's for.
took Tam's poor sister (whose on-again-off-again-semi-boyfriend asked me to take her home.
What was HE doing?
Walking around the room begins to sound like walking around the uncarpeted part of a movie theater. The high-tech, advanced medical solution to this is to stuff some towels between Tam's legs. Heh.
No comment here, I just had to include it for posterity, as it's one of the funniest things I've read lately.
after listening to someone moan and ( ... )
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Haha. Yeah, I had originally intended to talk more about the hospital stay. But in the end, his birth felt like a good stopping place. Plus, I got that whole lazy thing going against me. I wrote a line somewhere up front like.. "More on that later." Well, two lears later, I had no idea what else I was gonna say about it so I took it out. Heh.
If someone skips out, they're probably going to be pretty easy to catch. Shit, they can't go more than 50 miles without SERIOUS effort.
This is truth. It never made sense to me to fuck over people (particularly friends) in Hawaii. Like to borrow money and never give it back. You can't just disappear in Hawaii. There's nowhere to go! I can't wait until they have to catch someone I know. It's gotta be coming.
What was HE doing?
Being a douchebag. He can't have been too busy, he's the one who dropped her off! Seriously, I had it with this fucking guy. I can't even joke about it anymore.
Did you, or did ( ... )
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Even a few hours later, they're not that bad. Wait until they're yanking one outta your snatch. Then you'll see what I mean.
Thanks!
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I don't think anyone will ever be "yanking" anything out of my snatch thankyouverymuch. If we ever have kids, I think we'll adopt. I don't do well with that whole screaming in your face baby thing. I want them fully capable to talk, poop and dress themselves. ;D
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