소녀, 사랑을 찾아봐 [haesica, hyohyuk, hyosica, R]

[dalpaengee]

Title: 소녀, 사랑을 찾아봐
Pairing: HaeSica, HyoHyuk, HyoSica
Rating: R
Summary: Jessica tries to find love and gets lost in the process. (Sort of AU follow-up to 소녀, 사랑을 만나다Note: I wrote this for my creative writing class, again. I wanted to write something about a girl lost in love, and I was particularly interested in doing it about a Korean girl

Comments

[kanintallrik]

HYOSICA, MY OTP! o>__

[dalpaengee]

I love HyoSica! They're my OTP too. I've written them a few other times, but never really this...in depth, I guess. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I'm glad you liked it!

[mawaru_berry]

Oh gosh, I love this so much. It's a really nice touch that you added in the actual Korean for some words or phrases. And I think that your hard work shows in this, it's beautifully written, and Jessica was a great choice as a main character. I love every pairing in this, even though Jessica ended up sad ;_____; the ending was rather heartbreaking. Oh, another thing was that I could relate to Jessica's emotions in this, even if I haven't necessarily experienced them, I think it was just the way you wrote it - but I literally felt uncomfortable when she did, I felt sad or empty when she did, etc. Definitely memming this :)

[dalpaengee]

I'm so glad yo liked it! I love getting comments like these, and I'm so glad all Jessica's emotions and confusion, etc came through well. Thanks for reading and the comment!

is anonymous ...yeah! ;D

[anonymous]

---seeing as this will be for a class of yours, I hope you don't mind me pointing out a couple of very minor possible errors that could be corrected :) (in chronological order)

"..as he sloppily stick[s] his tongue in her mouth.."
"She holds his hand as the[y] walk back.."
"'You’ll find a good Korea[n] boy..'"
"Jessica let[s] herself eat food.."
"..has been going to school in the s[S]tates.."
"She’s sick a[nd] tired of being Sooyeon."
"..so she stays on in the dorm.."
"..reading magazine[s] and rereading books.."
"..and she goes to eat [at] the Korean restaurant.."
"Her minds keeps going back.."
"..when Jessica realizes what she’s doing and [she] pulls back her palms.."
"..Jessica falls into [them] and cries."

--(square brackets [...] for what could be added, and strikes for what could be omitted

Re: is anonymous ...yeah! ;D

[dalpaengee]

Oh, no, I love when people point out my grammar errors because I'm bound to still miss stuff when I check over it. Thanks for the help! And for the comment as well. :) I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

Re: <333

[dalpaengee]

I'm so glad you liked it! I wish there was more HyoSica out there, but I just settle for writing my own X)

[dalpaengee]

I'm really glad you liked it and thought it was realistic! Thanks for reading :)