I spent the early hours of this morning with razor blades dancing through my head. That hasn't happened to me since freshman year. It not just one thing, but many that I find I can't cope with. I don't hurt, everything just turns numb and that "hurts" more than anything for me.

I think I'm starving myself too.

Oh and there's a lump where there ( Read more... )

I would like to officially erase my life from second semester freshman year to this day. I have not dated anyone, I have not fallen in love, I'm half a virgin, and no one has disappointed me.

I wouldn't mind a few million in my bank account and a beach house in Malibu.

It was an accident. A complete accident. I didn't want this. I don't know what to do.

I shouldn't like him, but I do. He doesn't like me. Gah.. I'm frustrated.

I have a dream that I kissed Alvaro last night. It scared me a little because I knew that it was a dream and I couldn't wake up from it. I still kissed him though, kinda weird. It felt a little different from when I remembered it ( Read more... )

I just read something and it makes me irritated. I shouldn't be, but I am.

Who know who I've woken up next to for the last 3 months? Hishpy when she comes in to sleep in my bed, or one or more of three cats on Matty's couches. I haven't been to a party in forever, and I feel completely worthless as a bachelor.

I'm doing great academically, fan- ( Read more... )

I hate myself.

I've started a new semester and I hope things go well with classes ( Read more... )

I was going to see Stardust tonight, but it got canceled and I'm left without plans. I really have nothing to do, and there is a severe lack of persons to visit.

and just like that I've decided I don't want to write on here anymore..

So I over reacted to something the other day. To me, and to my heart it was probably the biggest break I'd ever experienced. I upset and worried my friends, all for a bad choice of words. I was such a fool. My friends, and the boy I'm falling in love with, seem to have forgiven me. They're not letting me off easy, they expect things, and I expect ( Read more... )

I'm a little upset. I can't say way, there could be so many reasons. I just know that I feel worthless, someone started me on that road today. He didn't mean to, but he did ( Read more... )