Heart Of The Sea: Chapter 11 - The Origin Of Davy Jones
ZeldaQueen: Before we begin, I would like to bring to everyone's attention this latest summary of Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides. "In this action-packed tale of truth, betrayal, youth and demise, Captain Jack Sparrow crosses paths with a woman from his past (Cruz), and he's not sure if it's love--or if she's a ruthless con artist who's using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. When she forces him aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard (McShane), Jack finds himself on an unexpected adventure in which he doesn't know who to fear more: Blackbeard or the woman from his past". That summary has made me break out in cold shivers and wonder if Gethesemane has taken up scriptwriting
Projection Room Voices: If you are quite done
ZeldaQueen: I am
Projection Room Voices: Well then, starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 11: The Origin of Davy Jones
Tia Dalma smiled at the pirates that surrounded her; it was almost as if they were small children.
ZeldaQueen: Well, that's about accurate for their intelligence level. Says a great deal about Gethesemane's brainpower as well
“You know of Davy Jones, yes? A man of the sea, a great sailor until he ran afoul of that which vexes all men.” Tia Dalma said, looking around the circle.
ZeldaQueen: She had to make sure that everyone had their juice box and crackers before she began. And if she didn't remind Jack to use the bathroom before they began, he'd wet himself
“What vexes all men?” Will asked her.
“What indeed?” she smiled.
ZeldaQueen: And didn't flirt with him. Huh
“The sea,” said Gibbs solemnly.
Tia shook her head.
“Sums,” said Pintel greedily.
Again, the gypsy shook her head.
ZeldaQueen: What is this, a fairy tale? Stop repeating this all!
“The dichotomy of good and evil,” Ragetti suggested.
For an idiot, he sounds like a genius.
ZeldaQueen: THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!
Everyone in the room looked at the one-eyed pirate and shook their heads.
“A woman,” said Jack and I simultaneously, ending the little game.
ZeldaQueen: Given how Kate has been determined to horn in on all of the action, I'm pretty sure this is proof that she's just got Jack as a ventriloquist dummy and making him play the part of love interest
Tia Dalma smiled at Jack and me. “A woman. He fell in love. It was a woman, as changing and harsh and untamable as the sea. He never stopped loving her, but the pain it caused him was too much to live with…but not enough to cause him to die.”
All of us nodded sadly, understanding the story all too well.
ZeldaQueen: *nastily* Oh really? Well, Miss Mary Sue, I don't see you cutting out your heart out of grief. Why don't you give it a try?
And notice that she left out the "same story, different version, but all of them true" bit. I'm not sure if it's because Gethesemane couldn't be arsed or if she was annoyed that Jones might love something other than her Sue to any degree
“Exactly what did he put into the chest?” Will asked.
ZeldaQueen: His boobs.
I'm so sorry
Tia Dalma sighed. “It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings, he decided, and so he carved out his heart, and locked it away in a chest, keeping it hidden from the world. The key…he keeps with him at all times.”
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "And he sometimes likes to fondle it late at night, when no one's there"
Will nodded in understanding.
“That was a roundabout way to get to the answer,” observed Jack.
“Sauce for the gander, Jack,” Tia Dalma replied with a wink.
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "Hey, I'm just going through the motions here. Don't look at me like that, I'm just grateful the Suethor hasn't figured out that I'm actually Davy Jones' beloved, instead of her original Sue character"
“You knew this,” Will said, looking at Jack.
I rolled my eyes. “Will, you’ve known Jack for a while now. You should know that he always conceals more information than he chooses to reveal.”
ZeldaQueen: *blinks* Wow. That's a whole level of bitchiness there. Not to mention that if Jack ever tried to hide something from the Sue, she'd be raising Cain. This is just another way for the Sue to show off how short her leash is on Jack. "Hey, it's not my fault that I'm Jack's sweetie-pie and I just know him so well that he can never get away with anything around me!"
“Bloody pirate,” Will muttered under his breath.
ZeldaQueen: Not yet. Just let me sharpen my cutlass, though
“All that’s left is to slip aboard Jones’s ship, the Flying Dutchman, take the key, and then you can go back to Port Royal and save your bonnie lass.”
ZeldaQueen: And escape from this fanfiction
Jack headed for the door, but I knew that the gypsy wasn’t finished yet.
“Let me see your hand,” she said before he could open the door.
Jack was hesitant, and I looked at the mystic.
“What’s on his hand that has you so interested?” I demanded.
ZeldaQueen: Come on Sue, don't play dumb. We all know what Jack's been doing to keep himself entertained while at sea
She looked at me intently.
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "Look, stop interrupting canon and fuck out, will you?"
She knew of the mark.
ZeldaQueen: Gee, a sea witch who can tell fortunes, owns a compass that points to one's greatest desire, and knows about the heart of Davy Jones is able to figure out something like that? Well, who would have imagined?
Slowly, Jack unwrapped his palm. Tia Dalma nodded respectfully at the sight of the Black Spot that made him a marked man.
Gibbs leaned in and saw the mark too. Then, he turned round three times and spit for luck. The two bumbling idiots followed,
though it was clear that they didn’t know what they were doing.
ZeldaQueen: *cries and holds the ragged corpse of canon's humor*
I watched as Tia Dalma moved across the room in her long, ragged dress and climbed the stairs. At the head, she opened a large carved door, with the whispering echo of the ocean emanating from it. She slowly closed the door and descended the stairway. In her hands she carried a jar that she handed to Jack.
ZeldaQueen: You know, that was rather poetic to just describe getting some goddammed dirt
“Davy Jones cannot make port, cannot step on land, but once every ten years,” she said to him.
ZeldaQueen: He can't make booze?
Leaning down, she scooped dirt into the jar. “Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.”
Jack looked into the jar, as did I. We were both rather unimpressed.
ZeldaQueen: Why is it that the Sue never feels anything different than Jack, unless it's bitchiness?
“This is a jar of dirt,” Jack said.
“Yes.”
“Is this jar of dirt going to help?” he asked skeptically.
“If you don’t want it, give it back.” Tia Dalma said, reaching for the jar.
“No!” Jack cried, clutching it to his chest.
I sighed and shook my head.
ZeldaQueen: See what I mean?
“That’s your husband over there,” Will whispered to me.
ZeldaQueen: No it isn't. That's the guy you lied about being your husband
“I know. Don’t rub it in.”
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I don't know why, but this stupid "he's my husband" charade is starting to get rather creepy. There is absolutely no reason for her to keep going with this. This is delusion, pure and simple. If a woman actually tried something like this, she would be unhinged as a gatepost. I don't care if she and Jack were supposed to have been married, they aren't and she's just going on like they are, misleading people. If a person pulls something like this, it's not a sign of a higher devotion, it's a sign that you need to back the fuck away! Of course, from what I understand, Gethesemane is under some delusion that she's married to Gerard Butler, so I guess it makes some sense. Bah. Carry on
Will faced Tia Dalma. “It seems we have a need to find the Flying Dutchman,” he said.
Tia Dalma smiled, then sat again at her table. Scooping up the crab claws, she tossed them down, casting a spell to reveal the direction.
The claws performed their task well. We were on our way to find Davy Jones.
ZeldaQueen: That, and the Suethor is pulling the Plot Strings
As the crew and I turned to leave, I felt a hand on my arm. Turning, I found that Tia Dalma had stopped me.
“You cannot save your husband,” she said. “Jones offers no substitutions.”
ZeldaQueen: Okay, Tia Dalma knows about the Black Spot but doesn't know that Kate is bullshitting her about that "husband" nonsense?
I stared at her. “You knew?”
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "You want to know me?"
(Yuri fans) "YES PLEASE!"
“Of your plan to exchange your life for Jack’s? Yes.
ZeldaQueen: That's not saying much. The Sue's as transparent as an unused overhead projector slide. I could guess what she was planning
It’s foolish, Kate Sparrow. And you know how Davy Jones came to be the monster he is now. Do you think your presence aboard that ship will help at all?”
ZeldaQueen: It hasn't helped thus far. Why start now?
“I can’t help it he’s a sexist.
ZeldaQueen: *stares* I. Um...not sure what to say to that, except that I fucking hate how Gethesemane makes her Sues anachronistic, just so they seem "liberated". Seriously, this is the...1800s, isn't it? Wouldn't Jones' view that women are troublesome bitches be pretty common?
Oh, and Kate dearest? His *ahem* sexism kind of does factor into this. If he hates women so much, what makes you think he'll put up with you at all? That's kind of Tia Dalma's point, you know
But I am not going to let that bastard take Jack from me.”
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "We haven't had our explicate harlequin sex scene!"
Tia shook her head sadly. “It’s too late - his blood debt needs to be repaid. His soul cannot be bartered, even with your own.”
“But surely-”
ZeldaQueen: (Kate) "- he'll make an exception for me! I'm the Mary Sue!"
“Davy Jones, I’m sure, knows of your marriage.
ZeldaQueen: Um, why? I'd imagine that Jones might have better things to do than keep tabs on Jack's marital status. Y'know, like play that kickass organ.
Oh, and THEY'RE NOT MARRIED!
And perhaps he expects you to come to him and demand that he take your life in Jack’s place.”
ZeldaQueen: Given how he basically laughed when Jack tried to send Will in his place, I'd imagine that Jones would refuse whether or not he was expecting it
I sighed. “It’s useless to try, then?”
ZeldaQueen: Yes, it is. Piss off and have a nice day
“Not completely,” she said softly. “For you, my dear, hold the key to Davy Jones’s heart.
ZeldaQueen: I don't like where this is going
You are as untamable as the sea itself; you are the woman that he had fallen in love with.”
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me?
And "untamable" my ass. Just wave Johnny Depp's dick in front of her, it's like dangling a rope in front of a cat.
I'm sorry
“What…?”
“There was a reason why you were returned to this earth once you had been murdered,” Tia said, crossing her arms. “But the journey will not go without its pain.”
ZeldaQueen: The Suethor zapped her into existence to boink Jack Sparrow by proxy. But the fic will not be without pain to the readers
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter 12: No Longer A Little White Lie
Back to: Chapter 10: Tia Dalma
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: If you are quite done
ZeldaQueen: I am
Projection Room Voices: Well then, starting Media in 3...2...1...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 11: The Origin of Davy Jones
Tia Dalma smiled at the pirates that surrounded her; it was almost as if they were small children.
ZeldaQueen: Well, that's about accurate for their intelligence level. Says a great deal about Gethesemane's brainpower as well
“You know of Davy Jones, yes? A man of the sea, a great sailor until he ran afoul of that which vexes all men.” Tia Dalma said, looking around the circle.
ZeldaQueen: She had to make sure that everyone had their juice box and crackers before she began. And if she didn't remind Jack to use the bathroom before they began, he'd wet himself
“What vexes all men?” Will asked her.
“What indeed?” she smiled.
ZeldaQueen: And didn't flirt with him. Huh
“The sea,” said Gibbs solemnly.
Tia shook her head.
“Sums,” said Pintel greedily.
Again, the gypsy shook her head.
ZeldaQueen: What is this, a fairy tale? Stop repeating this all!
“The dichotomy of good and evil,” Ragetti suggested.
For an idiot, he sounds like a genius.
ZeldaQueen: THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!
Everyone in the room looked at the one-eyed pirate and shook their heads.
“A woman,” said Jack and I simultaneously, ending the little game.
ZeldaQueen: Given how Kate has been determined to horn in on all of the action, I'm pretty sure this is proof that she's just got Jack as a ventriloquist dummy and making him play the part of love interest
Tia Dalma smiled at Jack and me. “A woman. He fell in love. It was a woman, as changing and harsh and untamable as the sea. He never stopped loving her, but the pain it caused him was too much to live with…but not enough to cause him to die.”
All of us nodded sadly, understanding the story all too well.
ZeldaQueen: *nastily* Oh really? Well, Miss Mary Sue, I don't see you cutting out your heart out of grief. Why don't you give it a try?
And notice that she left out the "same story, different version, but all of them true" bit. I'm not sure if it's because Gethesemane couldn't be arsed or if she was annoyed that Jones might love something other than her Sue to any degree
“Exactly what did he put into the chest?” Will asked.
ZeldaQueen: His boobs.
I'm so sorry
Tia Dalma sighed. “It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings, he decided, and so he carved out his heart, and locked it away in a chest, keeping it hidden from the world. The key…he keeps with him at all times.”
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "And he sometimes likes to fondle it late at night, when no one's there"
Will nodded in understanding.
“That was a roundabout way to get to the answer,” observed Jack.
“Sauce for the gander, Jack,” Tia Dalma replied with a wink.
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "Hey, I'm just going through the motions here. Don't look at me like that, I'm just grateful the Suethor hasn't figured out that I'm actually Davy Jones' beloved, instead of her original Sue character"
“You knew this,” Will said, looking at Jack.
I rolled my eyes. “Will, you’ve known Jack for a while now. You should know that he always conceals more information than he chooses to reveal.”
ZeldaQueen: *blinks* Wow. That's a whole level of bitchiness there. Not to mention that if Jack ever tried to hide something from the Sue, she'd be raising Cain. This is just another way for the Sue to show off how short her leash is on Jack. "Hey, it's not my fault that I'm Jack's sweetie-pie and I just know him so well that he can never get away with anything around me!"
“Bloody pirate,” Will muttered under his breath.
ZeldaQueen: Not yet. Just let me sharpen my cutlass, though
“All that’s left is to slip aboard Jones’s ship, the Flying Dutchman, take the key, and then you can go back to Port Royal and save your bonnie lass.”
ZeldaQueen: And escape from this fanfiction
Jack headed for the door, but I knew that the gypsy wasn’t finished yet.
“Let me see your hand,” she said before he could open the door.
Jack was hesitant, and I looked at the mystic.
“What’s on his hand that has you so interested?” I demanded.
ZeldaQueen: Come on Sue, don't play dumb. We all know what Jack's been doing to keep himself entertained while at sea
She looked at me intently.
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "Look, stop interrupting canon and fuck out, will you?"
She knew of the mark.
ZeldaQueen: Gee, a sea witch who can tell fortunes, owns a compass that points to one's greatest desire, and knows about the heart of Davy Jones is able to figure out something like that? Well, who would have imagined?
Slowly, Jack unwrapped his palm. Tia Dalma nodded respectfully at the sight of the Black Spot that made him a marked man.
Gibbs leaned in and saw the mark too. Then, he turned round three times and spit for luck. The two bumbling idiots followed,
though it was clear that they didn’t know what they were doing.
ZeldaQueen: *cries and holds the ragged corpse of canon's humor*
I watched as Tia Dalma moved across the room in her long, ragged dress and climbed the stairs. At the head, she opened a large carved door, with the whispering echo of the ocean emanating from it. She slowly closed the door and descended the stairway. In her hands she carried a jar that she handed to Jack.
ZeldaQueen: You know, that was rather poetic to just describe getting some goddammed dirt
“Davy Jones cannot make port, cannot step on land, but once every ten years,” she said to him.
ZeldaQueen: He can't make booze?
Leaning down, she scooped dirt into the jar. “Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.”
Jack looked into the jar, as did I. We were both rather unimpressed.
ZeldaQueen: Why is it that the Sue never feels anything different than Jack, unless it's bitchiness?
“This is a jar of dirt,” Jack said.
“Yes.”
“Is this jar of dirt going to help?” he asked skeptically.
“If you don’t want it, give it back.” Tia Dalma said, reaching for the jar.
“No!” Jack cried, clutching it to his chest.
I sighed and shook my head.
ZeldaQueen: See what I mean?
“That’s your husband over there,” Will whispered to me.
ZeldaQueen: No it isn't. That's the guy you lied about being your husband
“I know. Don’t rub it in.”
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I don't know why, but this stupid "he's my husband" charade is starting to get rather creepy. There is absolutely no reason for her to keep going with this. This is delusion, pure and simple. If a woman actually tried something like this, she would be unhinged as a gatepost. I don't care if she and Jack were supposed to have been married, they aren't and she's just going on like they are, misleading people. If a person pulls something like this, it's not a sign of a higher devotion, it's a sign that you need to back the fuck away! Of course, from what I understand, Gethesemane is under some delusion that she's married to Gerard Butler, so I guess it makes some sense. Bah. Carry on
Will faced Tia Dalma. “It seems we have a need to find the Flying Dutchman,” he said.
Tia Dalma smiled, then sat again at her table. Scooping up the crab claws, she tossed them down, casting a spell to reveal the direction.
The claws performed their task well. We were on our way to find Davy Jones.
ZeldaQueen: That, and the Suethor is pulling the Plot Strings
As the crew and I turned to leave, I felt a hand on my arm. Turning, I found that Tia Dalma had stopped me.
“You cannot save your husband,” she said. “Jones offers no substitutions.”
ZeldaQueen: Okay, Tia Dalma knows about the Black Spot but doesn't know that Kate is bullshitting her about that "husband" nonsense?
I stared at her. “You knew?”
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "You want to know me?"
(Yuri fans) "YES PLEASE!"
“Of your plan to exchange your life for Jack’s? Yes.
ZeldaQueen: That's not saying much. The Sue's as transparent as an unused overhead projector slide. I could guess what she was planning
It’s foolish, Kate Sparrow. And you know how Davy Jones came to be the monster he is now. Do you think your presence aboard that ship will help at all?”
ZeldaQueen: It hasn't helped thus far. Why start now?
“I can’t help it he’s a sexist.
ZeldaQueen: *stares* I. Um...not sure what to say to that, except that I fucking hate how Gethesemane makes her Sues anachronistic, just so they seem "liberated". Seriously, this is the...1800s, isn't it? Wouldn't Jones' view that women are troublesome bitches be pretty common?
Oh, and Kate dearest? His *ahem* sexism kind of does factor into this. If he hates women so much, what makes you think he'll put up with you at all? That's kind of Tia Dalma's point, you know
But I am not going to let that bastard take Jack from me.”
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "We haven't had our explicate harlequin sex scene!"
Tia shook her head sadly. “It’s too late - his blood debt needs to be repaid. His soul cannot be bartered, even with your own.”
“But surely-”
ZeldaQueen: (Kate) "- he'll make an exception for me! I'm the Mary Sue!"
“Davy Jones, I’m sure, knows of your marriage.
ZeldaQueen: Um, why? I'd imagine that Jones might have better things to do than keep tabs on Jack's marital status. Y'know, like play that kickass organ.
Oh, and THEY'RE NOT MARRIED!
And perhaps he expects you to come to him and demand that he take your life in Jack’s place.”
ZeldaQueen: Given how he basically laughed when Jack tried to send Will in his place, I'd imagine that Jones would refuse whether or not he was expecting it
I sighed. “It’s useless to try, then?”
ZeldaQueen: Yes, it is. Piss off and have a nice day
“Not completely,” she said softly. “For you, my dear, hold the key to Davy Jones’s heart.
ZeldaQueen: I don't like where this is going
You are as untamable as the sea itself; you are the woman that he had fallen in love with.”
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me?
And "untamable" my ass. Just wave Johnny Depp's dick in front of her, it's like dangling a rope in front of a cat.
I'm sorry
“What…?”
“There was a reason why you were returned to this earth once you had been murdered,” Tia said, crossing her arms. “But the journey will not go without its pain.”
ZeldaQueen: The Suethor zapped her into existence to boink Jack Sparrow by proxy. But the fic will not be without pain to the readers
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter 12: No Longer A Little White Lie
Back to: Chapter 10: Tia Dalma
Return to: Table of Contents