I came to the realization today during my piano lesson that I'm a self-critical, perfectionist, controlling hag. It's such an ugly thing to be, and I need to lighten the hell up. I laughed with my piano teacher after she joked about my scowling in parts that I was unhappy with...and my solution was to put a mirror on the piano, angled so that I can ( Read more... )

I had my second piano lesson yesterday. On the way home, I was so choked up emotionally, that I drove with the windows down and the radio up, allowing what was surfacing to surface ( Read more... )

So I started back to piano lessons last week after 30+ years. It was both calming and exciting for me ( Read more... )

Not even two weeks ago I was at the ER hemorrhaging for absolutely unknown reasons. I haven't seen that much blood come from me since after the birth of my children, so it was bizarre and scary. It's a safe guess that it was a major hormonal fluctuation of some sort; regardless, I've felt emotionally raw ever since.  It's like my insides are on my ( Read more... )

We are taking an after-rain walk,
splashing in the curb water
under a Carnation Pink sky,
me and my sisterfriend, with her long Goldenrod ringlets
and friendly Cornflower eyes--
wasn’t she always there?

Coloring books and Colorforms
helped us make sense of the world,
a palette of primary colors and shapes,
bold Black lines and shiny backgrounds.

We skipped ( Read more... )

The one who was wished for in the humid, Ohio summer
The one who was first planned
The one who prompted cravings of Nilla Wafers with cream cheese
She who came while her father chain-smoked in the waiting room
Swaddled in pink and handed to her mother who woke from twilight sleep
The one to be proud of, no secrets to hide
First girl in the family
( Read more... )

into reminiscent ripples of yesterday
the child’s reflection warps
the journey from silt to sun is complete
with bursting lungs and flailing arms

where a turtle perches on a stick,
we kick desperately to the surface,
the ancient keeper of time
by the light of the moon

like a womb in its monthly absence of life
and decomposed humus shedding tissue
through ( Read more... )

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Alas, Babylon ( Read more... )