i went to a rave tonight, randomly. it was a fuckin FREE hardcore party! i was alll over that shit! you know it was made for ME! whenever shit like that comes up when i look on ravelinks, i have to go...how could i not? i had the mission to either hand a dj one of my band's cd's or kiss a girl with devon's tactic of asking a roller if she'll kiss ( Read more... )

i'm finally learning why creating has become so stressful for me. everything i began to create has been contaminated by ego. even when i was younger, i would draw something, and have to show my mom, or sell drawings to the kids at my school, i needed praise for what i did. i'm not sure if that just gave me confidence or if it gave me ego. true ( Read more... )

it's funny, we're thrown into this world, with nothing really to rely on but our own EGS, emotional guidance system. there's no one to really count on but ourselves. friends help, lovers help, mothers help, but mainly, it's up to us on our own to decide what is best for us. the things that are expected of a child in modern society are to attend ( Read more... )

it's so weird what's happening to me, it's like i hear this person in my head that continually tries to seperate me from the present, but it's distant now..in other words, i don't take it seriously anymore, i don't see it as my true self. i know it will always be there, for some reason, all my life, at all times. and there's nothing i can or want ( Read more... )

feels so good when you know you got your own back. priorities are first, so that no matter who comes in and out of your life, you are taken care of. i wouldn't want to live any other way. i can't depend on any one person to fill that space in my life that only i could fill with the things i love, outside of people, that live inside of me always. ( Read more... )

what is it that happens to people when they get old? they get scared by form. what once was their best friend inevitably turns into their worst enemy, because of why? because of the way they LOOK! things start to break down, or do they? we age of course, but what is the origin of sickness and disease? we never cared about these things before ( Read more... )

i really don't know what to do about this "rock star" thing. even the fact that this job is referred to as "rock star" bothers me, but it's not about what others like to call it, but it does have a lot to do with being an entertainer as opposed to an artist, or rather both, but ultimately taking the role as performance artist as opposed to just ( Read more... )

i don't care what ANYONE says! i will not do a SINGLE thing in my life without LOVE! what the fuck is the point? why let fear motivate me? i could give a fuck about a legacy or what i mean to anyone else or how they view what i'm doing with myself, there's only ONE person who gets to have this experience and it's me! what the fuck is the point of ( Read more... )

why can't i just create with someone? creativity is a big part of my life and always has been. but i feel a lot of that energy got left behind somewhere, i got sucked into another world and now i want out. i need someone to help me, i need help! i want to share my heart and my soul with someone who understands the importance of spirituality and ( Read more... )

well i'm glad marilyn manson found love.