I have determined to be single forever. Sure, my decision may be fueled by bitterness, whatever you may call it. But seven years ago I was determined to be self-sufficient and now I'm back on that path after being distracted by the idea that I want a man. I don't want a man, or woman. I can't live with the idea that one day someone else will be ( Read more... )

How do I feel today? Sometimes I think this journal is an inaccurate representation of how am in general since I only write it in when I'm feeling introspective and sad. This year has been strange, like a mixed feeling that you never quite figure out and push aside while keeping busy with daily routines ( Read more... )

This morning started rather unpleasantly. Last night I went out with a new lesbian friend of mine to a bar downtown. I started the evening enthusiastically by chugging a beer at Ian's house and scarfing down some Chick-fil-a on the way in anticipation of spending an evening away from home, indulging in vapid conversation and shooting darts. Twasn't ( Read more... )

S'been a while. It's the last day of August in the year of our lord, Jesus Christ (amen), 2008. A lot has changed since the last time I wrote in here and it appears as though I'm slightly less neurotic and generally less miserable than I used to be. I feel like I'm growing up and trying my hardest to preserve a childhood mentality while still doing ( Read more... )

Oops, I accidentally slept until 11 o'clock today. Oh well, work is so ridiculously slow (I'm going to be super poor very soon) I've nothing really to do especially since It's snowing outside. Anyway, it's valentine's day, and I'm single (and surprisingly happy about it). Awoke to a "happy v day" text message from Joe. I think that's a sign that he ( Read more... )

Ah, I'm back in my bed awaiting another pleasant night of sleep. Today was a good day. I was supposed to work, but work is super slow so no dogs. I ended up laying in bed with my laptop and coffee until around noon, and afterwards spent a lot of time hanging out, snacking, burning CDs for loved ones, until a little after 5. Then I went to go see ( Read more... )

Well, I think I should start writing in this thing again (adhering to the suggestion of my shrink) to monitor stuff. I guess after my brief hiatus of being in yet another failed relationship (sigh) it is time to focus on me and score some very not-serious dates whilst having fun and preparing for my return to Florida. As impulsive as it may sound, ( Read more... )

Groszki i róże ( Read more... )

I guess I'm kind of outgrowing this thing since I seldom write in it. Writing used to be cathartic, but now it's kind of a pain in the ass. This year has been the best/worst year of my life...and I know that years down the road when the pain subsides and the proverbial rose-colored shades will be on, it will be the most memorable, wonderful, ( Read more... )

It's been a few weeks. It's so weird how I've completely lost myself lately. I think this is what happens when one goes from childhood to adulthood. Just when I thought I knew myself, I'm gone. I mean, I can't even get motivation to go running or read a book anymore. Wtf? So I've been meandering around, lost in my conflicting thoughts, struggling ( Read more... )