Comments | zuberimjr: Musings of an introvert

zuberimjr

Musings of an introvert

May 02, 2009 16:46

As people who knew me as a kid probably know, I've had a hard time dealing with "people" over the years. By that I mean people that I don't really know or have much in common with, especially in groups. When it comes to most people I interact with one-on-one, I do pretty well -- heck sometimes I'm even likable. But there's something about group ( Read more... )

Comments 5

kalo58 May 3 2009, 18:02:25 UTC

Sounds like through competence, you're "cursed" to be a leader. No worries brother. There are people whose only ability is learning how to fit in. There are also people who have no ability to self analyze....the majority of people it seems like. You're not them. Since I've known you, you've definitely become more outgoing by leaps and bounds. Be you and love life is the best way I've found to deal with people. And you definitely got a handle on both.

It's been good hearing from you lately man!

zuberimjr May 3 2009, 19:35:33 UTC

Thanks for the kind words dude!

goober_king May 4 2009, 11:55:23 UTC

As one of your merciless teasers back in the day, I can say you've definitely come a long way! I'd like to think I was teaching you how to deal with critics and detractors, but it was more likely just the usual sibling rivalry junk. *smirk*

The way I see it, you need to be comfortable with yourself first before you can expect others to be comfortable with you. Don't go looking for friends, as you'll just come off as awkward and desperate. Just be a friend to others, and eventually the true friends will be there for you as well.

Oh, and don't feel too bad about "fitting in". I consider myself relatively socially capable, and I don't feel like I really fit in anywhere either. Some of us just march to our own drum. :)

jeffraven65 May 7 2009, 04:29:21 UTC

Mike, when you and I first interacted you struck me as fairly aloof, but I've gotten to know you and I'd consider you a friend. I've had similar experiences in high school, and it was tough. Over time I've discovered people who like me for who I am, and I didn't have to really change if I didn't want to.

You've got a purpose, a loving wife, a loving family, and a relationship with God. That to me is success and I admire those things. Keep being yourself!

zuberimjr May 7 2009, 22:42:12 UTC

Thanks also for your kind words. You're a nice guy and I admire that!

Actually, I think you hit the nail on the head: aloof. That's exactly how I tend to come off, and with good cause. I guess I could excuse it as a defense mechanism, but the need for that has long passed. Now it's just an ingrained habit, to the exclusion of habits like more social awareness and being more conversational and fun to be around. I would like to turn it off somehow if I could; I'm not really conscious of it when I'm like that. But at least being more aware of it gives me a place to start working on it.