(no subject)
Title: Heartache Every Moment
Chapter Title: Talk
Author: slasher48 /
bad_bad_books
Rating: PG
Pairing: Max/Tom (soon, I promise), implied Brian/Derek (I just love the thought of the two reddishheads being together)
Disclaimer: Uh..fake, duh.
Hmm
OMG
No Way
End
Run
Restless
Max's POV
I hear the crash of someone throwing themself against the door and slamming their way through it and roll my eyes. Did he think I actually had enough effort to lock it? My coffee has long before gone cold so I've set the half empty cup on the table and I'm laying on the couch with my face in the soft cushions.
I hear his steps get closer and his voice asking tentatively, quietly, prolly thinking I'm asleep, "Maxi?" I wave at him, not lifting my head.
"Fix yourself a cup of coffee and let's get this 'talking' shit over with," I grumble, and I hear him walk into the kitchen and pour himself a cup of the hazelnut blend, my favorite instead of his, which is almond. He sighs because he knows I only think of myself first when I'm really down; normally, I'd make his.
He sits on the couch, the clunk of his mug against my table making me cringe. He forgot a cupholder and it's gonna make rings on the pretty cherry wood. He bounces for a sec, landing a slight slap to my ass to make me get up. It works, as it always does, and I sit up, giving him the dirtiest look I can muster feeling so low.
He ignores it...he always does...and makes himself comfortable where my legs have just been, giving me an imploring look he knows will make me start to spill everything. He's Derek and I'm Max and that's just how it goes with us. I tell him no, he says yes, we end up doing whatever I didn't want to 'cause I did really want to in the first place but I denied it. I sigh and plead to him with my eyes, begging him not to make me relive this while I tell it to him.
He shakes his head, unmoved."Now, Max. What the hell happened between you and Tom to make you wanna quit the team, and not only that but leave Buffalo?" He reaches to grab his coffee and drags a long sip, his eyes never leaving mine.
Damn those eyes and their power over me, damn me being such a fucking pushover, and damn me wanting, deep, deep, deep down to tell him anyway. "I....he....it's hard to explain, Der." I rub the back of my neck, eyes glued to the couch. Please, please have him let me out of this conversation.
No such luck. He slaps the cushion in front of me, startling me into looking up and waves his hand toward me. "Try anyway. You better have a damn good reason for just up and leaving your team and your best friends, even your home."
I wince, realizing I haven't told anyone the first part of my epiphany today. "Der....," I begin shyly, picking at my couch embarrassedly, "what would you do if I told you...I was...um...if I kinda...if I was.."
He seems to see how hard the thought is to finish for me and he helps me out. "...Gay?"
I look up in shock. "Um, yeah. Because I think I may be, well actually I prolly am 'cause..."
Derek starts to laugh. I give him an offended look and cross my arms. "Stop laughing at me," I pout at him, feeling like a fool.
He grabs his chest and tries to stop his laughter. "Max, I'm gay...have been for a while, as far as I know."
I stare at him in awe and surprise, my eyes wide, jaw dropping open. "You are...so, so you are not freaked out or disgusted or something?" He shakes his head, clapping my shoulder.
"That would be a little hypocritical, don't you think, Little Maxi? I mean, I've been in a relationship with Soupy for two years now, so you really think I'm disgusted by hot gay guys?"
I glare at him when I hear the loathed nickname. I hate it when he calls me that. "Er, okay," I say with a shy smile, but he doesn't notice. The gears are turning in his head and I can see him figure out my problem before I say a thing, turning to me with the most horrible expression of pity and sympathy on his face.
"Aw, honey," he says quietly, his eyes dark and dim with sadness because he knows why I'm so distraught. I shake my head, trying to look away from him.
"No pity, Der, I don't want it."
He ignores my protesting and moves closer to wrap his arms around me. I rest my head on his shoulder, breathing into his baby blue tee, using effort not to start crying at the feeling of being held and cared about. He sighs into my neck, saying quietly, "How can I not sympathize with you, Max? You've fallen for your best friend and he doesn't return your feelings so you have to end the relationship, right?" At my nod he continues,"It's possibly the worst situation Fate has ever created, and I'm pissed at her for inflicting such a thing on you."
I squeeze him tighter. "You're right, only I didn't have to end the relationship." I sniff, holding back another wave of tears at the immediate recall of Tom's heated words as I stood in the doorway, unaware that I'd heard until Jason said it.
He grabs my shirt and pulls me flush against his chest, rubbing my back as I let the dam break and sob into his shoulder. "He...he said he never wanted to see me again, Derek...that I should be sent away," I murmur and feel him shake his head against my neck, obviously incredibly angry at Thomas.
Derek pulls away and holds my shoulders, looking me directly in the eyes. I shiver at the depth of emotion in his. "It's not your fault, Max....he's an idiot not to see how much he's hurting you, and no matter how you feel about him, he should deal and be your friend because that's what friends do, man."
I sigh, shaking my head in denial. "No, it is my fault, Der...I'm the stupid one to fall for my best friend!"
*SMACK* I feel a stinging pain on the side of my face and stare at him in horror, holding my flaming red cheek. "You slapped me!" I accuse.
He shrugs. "You needed a wake up call." He moves my hand and strokes my scarlet cheek, soothing the hurt away. "You have to talk to him, Max....there has to be a reason why he would just end it like that."
I shake my head vehemently. "No fucking way...I'm not going near him ever, EVER again."
Derek gives me a hard glare, which is also somehow pensive and understanding. Don't ask me why, they're his eyes, not mine. "Maxim, think about it...why would Thomas end your friendship out of the blue like he did? What would be bad enough for him not even to say it to your face?"
I shrug...I'm too lazy and depressed to wonder WHY I'm in this mess. "Maybe he had something he didn't want me to know," I suggest, sure I'm wrong. But, the way Der's eyes light up, I know I've hit the nail on the head.
He leans toward me, getting excited, too excited for my taste. "And what would that something be? What would be so horrible, so life-changing that he'd want to keep it from you that badly?"
I shrug again, a sluggish up and down dance of my shoulders. "I dunno." And I don't care, I add silently.
He looks to be losing patience with me as he shakes my shoulders angrily. "MAX! What were you going to do today?"
My eyes start to turn a funny dinner plate shape as my jaw drops. "Tom? Like me back? But...no, no, he couldn't. He doesn't...he never has flirted with me or anything."
Derek laughs out loud, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep the sound from echoing around the house. "HA! No flirting, bull-SHIT! You and he are always touching or talking close, or singing together..things like that. You are ALWAYS flirting...maybe he really does like you." He grasps his chin with his fingers, rubbing his fuzz thoughtfully. "Would explain the panic attack, too," he finally says.
I cock an eyebrow at him. "How so?"
He grins with his theory, which is supposedly brilliant, I guess. "Again, Max, think...when was the last time he had one of those?"
I close my eyes, trying to remember the day, and frown. "We were talking about what we'd do about each other being traded, and I said...I said...oh yeah, I said I don't think I could have a long distance friendship without mourning the closeness we have. After that he agreed and we moved on, but about two minutes later, he started to cry and hyperventilate and he almost passed out, would have if I hadn't had a bag for him to breathe in."
Derek is absolutely convinced he's right, I see and I try not to roll my eyes. "See, Max? He had a panic attack at the thought of losing you, same as tonight. I'd guess he prolly figured out he was in love with you tonight and having the same thought you did about your friendship ending, started freaking out about losing you again."
My eyes are wide with shock...can it really be true? Can he really be sending me away to save himself the heartache of letting me know he wants more? "How'd you get so smart?", I ask Derek, punching his shoulder lightly.
His face falls and I immediately know there's a story I'll have to get out of him later."Experience," he mutters,"and learning from your mistakes." I nod, finally able to stand with newfound courage given by Der's idea.
"Go change your clothes and talk to him, Maxi," he says firmly, pushing me towards the stairs to the upstairs hall with my bedroom in it. I nod.
"Alright." I concede the point. I go to take a shower, then dress and with a quick hug, I'm on my way to talk to him, whether he'll answer or not.
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FINALLY! Some resolution! More to come soon...comment? (Oh, and yeah, the drama's not done yet for all you masochists out there lol)
Chapter Title: Talk
Author: slasher48 /
bad_bad_books
Rating: PG
Pairing: Max/Tom (soon, I promise), implied Brian/Derek (I just love the thought of the two reddishheads being together)
Disclaimer: Uh..fake, duh.
Hmm
OMG
No Way
End
Run
Restless
Max's POV
I hear the crash of someone throwing themself against the door and slamming their way through it and roll my eyes. Did he think I actually had enough effort to lock it? My coffee has long before gone cold so I've set the half empty cup on the table and I'm laying on the couch with my face in the soft cushions.
I hear his steps get closer and his voice asking tentatively, quietly, prolly thinking I'm asleep, "Maxi?" I wave at him, not lifting my head.
"Fix yourself a cup of coffee and let's get this 'talking' shit over with," I grumble, and I hear him walk into the kitchen and pour himself a cup of the hazelnut blend, my favorite instead of his, which is almond. He sighs because he knows I only think of myself first when I'm really down; normally, I'd make his.
He sits on the couch, the clunk of his mug against my table making me cringe. He forgot a cupholder and it's gonna make rings on the pretty cherry wood. He bounces for a sec, landing a slight slap to my ass to make me get up. It works, as it always does, and I sit up, giving him the dirtiest look I can muster feeling so low.
He ignores it...he always does...and makes himself comfortable where my legs have just been, giving me an imploring look he knows will make me start to spill everything. He's Derek and I'm Max and that's just how it goes with us. I tell him no, he says yes, we end up doing whatever I didn't want to 'cause I did really want to in the first place but I denied it. I sigh and plead to him with my eyes, begging him not to make me relive this while I tell it to him.
He shakes his head, unmoved."Now, Max. What the hell happened between you and Tom to make you wanna quit the team, and not only that but leave Buffalo?" He reaches to grab his coffee and drags a long sip, his eyes never leaving mine.
Damn those eyes and their power over me, damn me being such a fucking pushover, and damn me wanting, deep, deep, deep down to tell him anyway. "I....he....it's hard to explain, Der." I rub the back of my neck, eyes glued to the couch. Please, please have him let me out of this conversation.
No such luck. He slaps the cushion in front of me, startling me into looking up and waves his hand toward me. "Try anyway. You better have a damn good reason for just up and leaving your team and your best friends, even your home."
I wince, realizing I haven't told anyone the first part of my epiphany today. "Der....," I begin shyly, picking at my couch embarrassedly, "what would you do if I told you...I was...um...if I kinda...if I was.."
He seems to see how hard the thought is to finish for me and he helps me out. "...Gay?"
I look up in shock. "Um, yeah. Because I think I may be, well actually I prolly am 'cause..."
Derek starts to laugh. I give him an offended look and cross my arms. "Stop laughing at me," I pout at him, feeling like a fool.
He grabs his chest and tries to stop his laughter. "Max, I'm gay...have been for a while, as far as I know."
I stare at him in awe and surprise, my eyes wide, jaw dropping open. "You are...so, so you are not freaked out or disgusted or something?" He shakes his head, clapping my shoulder.
"That would be a little hypocritical, don't you think, Little Maxi? I mean, I've been in a relationship with Soupy for two years now, so you really think I'm disgusted by hot gay guys?"
I glare at him when I hear the loathed nickname. I hate it when he calls me that. "Er, okay," I say with a shy smile, but he doesn't notice. The gears are turning in his head and I can see him figure out my problem before I say a thing, turning to me with the most horrible expression of pity and sympathy on his face.
"Aw, honey," he says quietly, his eyes dark and dim with sadness because he knows why I'm so distraught. I shake my head, trying to look away from him.
"No pity, Der, I don't want it."
He ignores my protesting and moves closer to wrap his arms around me. I rest my head on his shoulder, breathing into his baby blue tee, using effort not to start crying at the feeling of being held and cared about. He sighs into my neck, saying quietly, "How can I not sympathize with you, Max? You've fallen for your best friend and he doesn't return your feelings so you have to end the relationship, right?" At my nod he continues,"It's possibly the worst situation Fate has ever created, and I'm pissed at her for inflicting such a thing on you."
I squeeze him tighter. "You're right, only I didn't have to end the relationship." I sniff, holding back another wave of tears at the immediate recall of Tom's heated words as I stood in the doorway, unaware that I'd heard until Jason said it.
He grabs my shirt and pulls me flush against his chest, rubbing my back as I let the dam break and sob into his shoulder. "He...he said he never wanted to see me again, Derek...that I should be sent away," I murmur and feel him shake his head against my neck, obviously incredibly angry at Thomas.
Derek pulls away and holds my shoulders, looking me directly in the eyes. I shiver at the depth of emotion in his. "It's not your fault, Max....he's an idiot not to see how much he's hurting you, and no matter how you feel about him, he should deal and be your friend because that's what friends do, man."
I sigh, shaking my head in denial. "No, it is my fault, Der...I'm the stupid one to fall for my best friend!"
*SMACK* I feel a stinging pain on the side of my face and stare at him in horror, holding my flaming red cheek. "You slapped me!" I accuse.
He shrugs. "You needed a wake up call." He moves my hand and strokes my scarlet cheek, soothing the hurt away. "You have to talk to him, Max....there has to be a reason why he would just end it like that."
I shake my head vehemently. "No fucking way...I'm not going near him ever, EVER again."
Derek gives me a hard glare, which is also somehow pensive and understanding. Don't ask me why, they're his eyes, not mine. "Maxim, think about it...why would Thomas end your friendship out of the blue like he did? What would be bad enough for him not even to say it to your face?"
I shrug...I'm too lazy and depressed to wonder WHY I'm in this mess. "Maybe he had something he didn't want me to know," I suggest, sure I'm wrong. But, the way Der's eyes light up, I know I've hit the nail on the head.
He leans toward me, getting excited, too excited for my taste. "And what would that something be? What would be so horrible, so life-changing that he'd want to keep it from you that badly?"
I shrug again, a sluggish up and down dance of my shoulders. "I dunno." And I don't care, I add silently.
He looks to be losing patience with me as he shakes my shoulders angrily. "MAX! What were you going to do today?"
My eyes start to turn a funny dinner plate shape as my jaw drops. "Tom? Like me back? But...no, no, he couldn't. He doesn't...he never has flirted with me or anything."
Derek laughs out loud, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep the sound from echoing around the house. "HA! No flirting, bull-SHIT! You and he are always touching or talking close, or singing together..things like that. You are ALWAYS flirting...maybe he really does like you." He grasps his chin with his fingers, rubbing his fuzz thoughtfully. "Would explain the panic attack, too," he finally says.
I cock an eyebrow at him. "How so?"
He grins with his theory, which is supposedly brilliant, I guess. "Again, Max, think...when was the last time he had one of those?"
I close my eyes, trying to remember the day, and frown. "We were talking about what we'd do about each other being traded, and I said...I said...oh yeah, I said I don't think I could have a long distance friendship without mourning the closeness we have. After that he agreed and we moved on, but about two minutes later, he started to cry and hyperventilate and he almost passed out, would have if I hadn't had a bag for him to breathe in."
Derek is absolutely convinced he's right, I see and I try not to roll my eyes. "See, Max? He had a panic attack at the thought of losing you, same as tonight. I'd guess he prolly figured out he was in love with you tonight and having the same thought you did about your friendship ending, started freaking out about losing you again."
My eyes are wide with shock...can it really be true? Can he really be sending me away to save himself the heartache of letting me know he wants more? "How'd you get so smart?", I ask Derek, punching his shoulder lightly.
His face falls and I immediately know there's a story I'll have to get out of him later."Experience," he mutters,"and learning from your mistakes." I nod, finally able to stand with newfound courage given by Der's idea.
"Go change your clothes and talk to him, Maxi," he says firmly, pushing me towards the stairs to the upstairs hall with my bedroom in it. I nod.
"Alright." I concede the point. I go to take a shower, then dress and with a quick hug, I'm on my way to talk to him, whether he'll answer or not.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
FINALLY! Some resolution! More to come soon...comment? (Oh, and yeah, the drama's not done yet for all you masochists out there lol)