No joke ( Read more... )

At what point does one begin to fear that their brain does not work as its design intended?

I am 28 years old, and still don't seem to understand the concept of waiting for five goddamned minutes for a french bread pizza to cool off before jamming it in my mouth like a fat kid.

The roof my mouth seems to be living, screaming proof that I do not

I cannot remember the last time I was this happy.

Thank you.

<3

( Fireworks, no matter how small, can damage your ears )

( Ressurection )

When you stop long enough to notice, Diet Coke tastes just like neurological disease.

( Read more... )

This is how cool my job is ( Read more... )

You would probably think that a beautiful afternoon on my (only) day off spent eating awesome gang gai, watching the Tigers win, and sitting on my balcony enjoying the sun would be just what I needed ( Read more... )

Let it hereafter be known that anyone that lives within one hour of Royal Oak is required to attend whatever establishment we decide upon (Good Night Gracie's is being discussed, but suggestions are welcome) on Saturday the 23rd in commemoration of my stumbling entrance into the ranks of the old ( Read more... )