until today, i'd always thought that even though last spring represents my darkest days it was the only time i really felt alive. but maybe thats not reality. the more i think about it, the more it seems the opposite ( Read more... )

( fuck you. )

i dont think i'll ever get over the way this feels. it reminds me of being young, sitting on the carpet after nap time, and trying to shove that damn square block into the round hole. okay, so i never personally did that. but i can imagine the feeling of complete vexation is similar ( Read more... )

alright, so i was thinking and i came up with a question. i would ask for your assistance, but because there are all of (2) people who actually read this its rather pointless, dont you think? anyway...

am i insipid because i lack interests, or do i lack interests because i'm characterless?

i vote the latter.

its peculiar, how you can know every stranger more intamitely than you know your closest friends. why is it, that often the most interesting people, are the ones you dont know. its better when things are new- life, love, friendship. but soon, you've experienced all the emotions, been told all the secrets and everything isn't so simple and shiny ( Read more... )

i wish i could say something and make it better, like i used to. but maybe thats not even true, maybe i never really helped. i feel like i should do something more, say something differently, but i'm not sure what or how. i guess we cant fight each others battles anymore.

things were so much easier when we shared the same enemies.

and all ( Read more... )

so. that tranquil, optimistic, hopeful phase? yeah, its over. i still feel like something inside me has changed. but there are so many people i need to abandon, so many situations i need to remove myself from. not because its unhealthy, but because its pointless.

the amusing undercurrents are cliché, the advice marginal, the esprit de corps ( Read more... )

i think this feeling should be documented. i dont know where it came from, or what changed. but today i was thinking about things, as i usually do when i'm avoiding homework, and i considered the future. but this time, instead of the misanthropic undertones which usually accompany such subject matter, i found myself strangely à l'aise. although ( Read more... )

its like ripping a page out of the dictionary.
the page is gone, but somewhere the words remain.
                 beautiful, wasted
     today is just another day, in the greatly negligible saga
that is my life.
       surrounded by the world that made us
home, this roof over my head.
                               plastic & wanted              ( Read more... )

there are two laterals to this deterioration. the initial : the failing of my own superfluous ambitions. and the ancillary : the disillusionment accompanying the realization that the idealistic aspirations of my peers aren't so different from my own ( Read more... )