my dad came in. and we had a short talk. now i feel much better.

i told my mom and my therapist about it. i actually got the courage to tell them what happened. but i didnt tell my dad. im sure my mom told him though. like i was in his room and i printed out directions and stuff for the concert tomorrow. and hes all like "you better not be drinking and smoking tomorrow". well obviously im not trusted. but i ( Read more... )

i thought i was going to be different. i thought i was better than this. i thought i had a better family relationship. but no. i just had to change all of that. i drank and smoked. just stokes. and my dad came in my room and said that he smelt them on me. but i just said i didnt smoke. and just somehow this is just killing me. it just hurts to ( Read more... )

i know im a bitch for complaining. but my hair is just killing me. i had it at the perfect length last last february. when i got sent away. well the length. i got the front thinned out then too. but then this year. i mean like 2 weeks ago my bangs were perfect. like it was thick and black and straight and everything. i finally got it right because ( Read more... )

you know what really pisses me off? geting haircuts. i fucking hate it. do you know why i hate it? because those fucking lame ass hair cut bitches have to throw in something fancy. and their something fancy is not scene, or hip, or cool. its just lame. and gross. i went to get my hair cut at this new place. and i thought it was a nice place. but no ( Read more... )

my brother ended up talking to my mom and things are all good now. that day we all went out and watched a movie as a family. well my mom didnt come till after the movie. but yeah it was really nice. we havent done that in a while. and i thought wed never do it. but i thought wrong. and today we went to church like anyother sunday. and me and my ( Read more... )

my brothers pissed because he cant go to some sleepover. and hes 17 years old. a fucking junior crying about a sleepover. well i mean im the one to talk arent i. but watching him pisses me off and makes me sad. first off he has better thing to cry about than a fucking sleepover. i think his friends are mainly lame and useless in my professional ( Read more... )

i had this crazy dream. it was ridiculous. so i was in this huge mansion place with the kids from kgs and d.a. so like it was a storm and i remember rafi was there and rebecca. so were talking and someone was looking for batteries. then i go up stairs. and meg ryan was in the bath tub. looking gorgeous. and adam sandler was shaving and talking ( Read more... )

i went to a karaoke bar and didnt drink today. thats the first in 2 years. its great progress right? but then BAM here comes another problem. well my ex that i really really really liked starts mailing me and she wants me to go see her in this place. its kinda far. but thats nothing. this guy i used to drink with and do drugs with fucking calls me ( Read more... )

whenever i feel like killing myself i make perfect plans. well its straight forward. im pretty sure when people plan them out its all similar. but yeah lately i know why i dont do it. im too scared and i care too much. i guess theyre all good things. like. it would ruin my family. my friends would get affected i think. ill miss bright eyes. i wont ( Read more... )