This made me really happy.

This made me really angry.  What kind of animal punches a monkey and then is so unashamed of his actions that he advertises the fact on the BBC website?!  And this wasn't some great hulking beast, 'the monkey was only about a foot high'.  When a monkey tried to get into Rosemary's bag while we were on the rock of Gibraltar ( Read more... )

Oh my God, the repair man who fixed our washing machine about 10 minutes ago, has just come storming back up to the flat to complain that he's been given a parking ticket and that we had to give him the money for it ( Read more... )

Leanne is just the same as everyone else
So the other day I came across a bloke lying face down on the steps of a church, totally bawling his eyes out. Something truly awful must have happened because he was properly wailing and struggling to catch his breath. I stood there for ages, watching other people walking past...I wanted to check that he ( Read more... )

Some shit-for-brains supermarket trogs just refused to sell me alcohol. Those wretched, cretinous, syphilitic cunt bags! I will burn that place to the fucking ground! Those smug fucks will not escape and if I ever have to set foot in another Sainsburys ever again I will contaminate as much of their merchandise as is humanly possible with my own ( Read more... )

Bulletproof
So yesterday that weird Nosferatu-looking bloke at work, oozed over, looking concerned, to tell me that, while he liked the pale and interesting look, sickliness was 'quite another matter'...
WTF!What the hell do I do to encourage these fucking freaks to give me their frank and honest opinion about my appearance ( Read more... )

So my little dog died this morning. She was 18 so she did better than I thought she would.

Sophie

Why do pets hate hoovers?I've just had a flat inspection. It took me, like, 20 minutes to hide the guinea-pig. Poor little thing...its looking a bit traumatised now. It's been a bad few days for V. The other night I came home completely caned and attempted to clean out his cage. I got straw and shit everywhere (my flatmates were less than ( Read more... )

Leanne: "Aw, i've had my haircut and now my hair's a different colour on the short side where my hair dye's grown out. I look like a weird goth battenburg!"

In other news...
On Saturday I unblocked Bob's drainage hole with a butter knife.

Yum!!
These are the ingredients in a jar of Old El Paso Guacamole:
Avocado (26%) , Peas , Water , Chopped ( Read more... )

I'm about to go over to Scoot, Duncan, Bloob and Jiminy Cricket's place to clean their flat ( Read more... )

"The kind of song that makes people glad to be where they are, with whoever they're there with"
Ive been listening to Brand New's 'Deja Entendu' a lot. It's such a great album.

VenusaurSo I got my adorable new guinea pig yesterday. He's lovely but he's totally freaked out about being in a strange new place with even stranger new people. I was ( Read more... )