*finds herself staring out into a garden*

*tries to move forward, but realises she stuck in a single place*

Hmm...

This is...interestin'. What I get for jumpin' through a mysterious vortex, you know?

I was just 'bout to interrupt Glory from preenin' herself in the mirror, when I noticed somethin' strange through a hole in the ceiling.

Some sorta...vortex-like thing 'bout twenty feet above the castle.

Hmm...

*runs off to make make-shift ladder*

That was a bad idea.

*gets up and limps down the corridor.

Well, I've come to a bloody road block 'ere. Part of the castle was caved in. There's a big hole.

Wonder if I can jump it...?

*looks down*

Hmm...

*laughs evilly*

The soddin' guards are down for the count, too bloody high on the best night o' their pathetic lives.

'M inside the castle. Just gotta search out the Glory bint, seduce her, possibly take over, or escape from this hell. Literally.

No one can resist my sinister charms (especially with a bunny tail).

Now, everyone is back and my sex has not been rudely interrupted from schedule. Aside from daily torture--which is actually kind of a turn on...was always into S&M--things are well in Hell.

Now, I 'ave booze, and I 'ave a french maid outfit.

It's time to bribe the bloody guards.

*prances off in maid outfit, complete with feather duster*

Well, I determined that the only way to obtain booze was to track down that General. He's been down 'ere quite a bit longer than I 'ave.

So Kyle an' I went out lookin' for 'im. (Plus I missed the threesomes. A vamp has needs, you know.)

'Ey...is that 'im?

...

Where'd that randy chap go? An' just when I was thinkin' 'bout somethin' involving whips and chains. How disappointing ( Read more... )

Well, since the ingrates down in that particular pit o' hell are done playing jump rope with my intestines, seems only proper that I should get back to my nasty ways.

A to-do list is in order.

*ponders*

Well, maybe a lil' fun first. Anyone got any booze?

One more day and then 'm outta 'ere.

While the demons here were rearrangin' me organs, 've decided that I've gone about Glory all wrong.

Sleeping with the enemy, yeah?

Much better plan.