They're waiting for me to hurry so we can go make this movie, but before I leave, I will call upon the dieties to speak through me to reveal the divine secrets of the universe.

In other words, your questions will be answered. I give you my replies only and hide the questions, because I'm a complete bastard.

naj_sorrow -- I will. Will you wear that ( Read more... )

No man lives by toast alone. Toast is dead, long live toast. Now is the time for oatmeal.

(All of this is purely a gratuitous plea for you all to check out my new icon.)

Seeing as how it's been awhile since I exposed my chest in public, I ventured down to the beach for a little bit yesterday.

While the view was lovely, after 20 minutes I wandered back to the bar where many fruity rum drinks with little paper umbrellas were consumed (then I remembered to take the umbrellas out before I drank ( Read more... )

Time flies when you're having toast.

Can I get an amen, brothers and sisters?

I have no idea where we are right now. Utah? Nevada? Whatever. We're definitely not in Kansas anymore. And who's idea was this anyway ( Read more... )

I'm not working today. You can't make me. I'm staying in my jammies and watching cartoons. If you need to get a hold of me, tough. Or come here, because the world is big and scary and I don't want to be a part of it today.

Thank you very much.

Can someone please tell me why I feel like such shit today? Opinions? Comments? Suggestions?

Will accept hugs.

I smoked too much last night. I can't tell you what constitutes too much in my book, because I tend to smoke the average daily number of cigarettes made by Philip Morris in a week. I just know that my chest is rattling a little more than usual. It sounds like the wind blowing through the windows on a haunted house soundtrack ( Read more... )

Sorry for disappearing for a few days. I never think anyone notices when I'm gone. It surprises me quite a bit to realize that people have been wondering about me ( Read more... )

I'm about to die from an overload of cute. Either that or the fat-free Pringles.

Bury me with my boots on...nothing else. And keep it quiet up there.