june was bad. july was indifferent. and now its august. i have never liked my own birthday. i feel like the people who i want to care the most are the ones who never do, and the people who do care are never the ones i wish would have. Its a perpetual cycle. i am usually unhappy on birthdays. last year was my first great bithday from beginning to ( Read more... )

these have been the two worst weeks.. maybe it is in comparison to the 3 best months of my life. or maybe they are still really bad. I was trying to be happy... i was. Day one home.. was nice if i ignored the parental fighting about money.. my mom not working..my dads losing his business... Each day has gotten worse..jen is sad..jc is sad..Then is ( Read more... )

confidence. i dont know why i feel like i have so much of it all the sudden. I guess i am really self-consious a lot of the time and I hide it by being loud and pretending i dont get embarassed easily. Spain has changed all that. people stare. people stare meanly..and i stare back. sometimes I walk around...quikly and powerfully and stand tall. ( Read more... )

i feel like i need to start writing down everything that is happening. everythign that i am thinking. everything that i am feeling ( Read more... )

so. i never thought picking up, leaving everyone you know, moving to a foreign country and spending most of your time being confused could make you happy. I have never been so happy in my life. I think its not the 'yes i am free' type of happy but more of a content with myself happy. A lot of people came to spain to find themselves.. I don't think ( Read more... )

i sent jc a text message yesterday.. at about 3 in the morning. saying that sometimes.. i am bitter ( Read more... )

sometimes i want to be alone.

this is one of those times.

being alone is easier.

friendships change. jenny said keri would be hard to buy a christmas present for because she is not the same keri she was 2 years ago. this is true. but i think it is all for the best. when you look for friends what are the particular qualities tha pull you in. my new friend requirement is sincerity. being sincere is an amazing thing. i feel like ( Read more... )

i have had the best week of my life. with mostly people i barely knew ( Read more... )

its been 10 weeks. i never understand. today me and cana played the song lyric game...with the word time.

(time is on your side, time keeps on slipping slipping slipping into the future, its times like these you learn to love again, time has come today, the times they are a changing, a long long time ago.. i can still remember, stop-hammer time, ( Read more... )