Comments | a_lad_inane: Please Wait For Me to Die

a_lad_inane

Please Wait For Me to Die

Jul 04, 2005 19:36

I'm not dead yet, although I've been flirting with it off and on for the last three weeks. You see, up until recently, I wrote a lot on here. I wrote so much, in fact, that I developed a rather nasty case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Sure, at first, the doctor's prognosis was promising: "stay off your wrist for a week, and you should be just fine ( Read more... )

Comments 146

justgrey July 5 2005, 00:48:27 UTC

Suck it up like the rest of us and learn to type with chopsticks.

And I had already arranged your marriage to my lady servant.

a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 00:51:44 UTC

Suck it up like the rest of us and learn to type with chopsticks.

I tried that once, but all I could type were "ching," "chong," and "I want a Coca Cola."

And I had already arranged your marriage to my lady servant.

I'm hoping your mother is at least 55.

justgrey July 5 2005, 00:54:09 UTC

I'm hoping your mother is at least 55.

Just barely.

Seriously though, carpal tunnel sucks. So I pay little people to type for me. I pay them in Fritos.

a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 00:57:53 UTC

I pay some neighborhood kids to mow my lawn. Last week, though, I realized they weren't neighborhood kids at all, but 53-year-old Mexican day laborers.

P.S. I don't have carpal tunnel, but I am going to die soon.

Thread 8

ex_ramona222 July 5 2005, 00:52:51 UTC

"Wrist cancer" hah. That's just a fancy way of saying "I stopped writing because I hate pinkpleasures". I knew it.

a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 00:55:07 UTC

No. After spending so much time with homosexuals on here, my wrist gradually went limp and developed cancer.

ex_ramona222 July 5 2005, 00:56:30 UTC

Missed you ya great screaming fag hag, you.

I've missed YOU, deary. a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 00:59:22 UTC

"Fag" is such a demeaning word. I prefer "sodomite."

Thread 58

a_lad_inane, Author of the "Broken Wings" contrasoma July 5 2005, 00:58:24 UTC

People have difficulty absorbing my Jorge Luis Borges tattoos.

Cancer, eh? Here I was thinking you'd been spending your time reprogramming yourself so that you could record the entire Mr. Mister canon as if it had never existed and it was the only possible natural extension of your own self.

Re: a_lad_inane, Author of the "Broken Wings" a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 01:02:24 UTC

No, but I did email the drummer from Mr. Mister...

Pat,

I think Fripp has a new approach in mind for the next album...

http://www.livejournal.com/community/thecrimsonking/15935.html

+++++

Lad,
Yikes!
thanks for warning me.

http://www.patmastelotto.com/guestbook1.0.html

I bet the drummer from Mr. Mister has yet to legitimize your existence.

Re: a_lad_inane, Author of the "Broken Wings" contrasoma July 5 2005, 01:28:25 UTC

I have found books in the library which dictate that your true death does not come from wrist cancer, but from a bullet fired from Pat Mastelotto's revolver when you turn your back on him to ferret out your collection of Mr. Mister bubble gum card wrappers. I have found books that tell of Mastelotto's pilgrimages to countless Mr. Mister and King Crimson concerts to see me, the drummer of those bands, whereupon he has laid wreaths of flowers at my feet. And there are books in which you and Mastelotto are one.

Re: a_lad_inane, Author of the "Broken Wings" a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 01:32:24 UTC

I emailed the same thing to Robert Fripp. He read it in the dark, composed a ten-page essay on the relationship between performer and King Diamond-obsessed audient, and then ran away from me.

gary_gygax July 5 2005, 01:14:09 UTC

Jesus, don't you ever leave me like that again!!!!

a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 01:16:00 UTC

I don't usually take orders, but I will in your case seeing as you referred to me by my proper name.

gary_gygax July 5 2005, 01:23:31 UTC

You indeed have a Christ like presence on here!

a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 01:25:59 UTC

I was referring to Luis DeJesus, the black midget from Bloodsucking Freaks.

snizzpod July 5 2005, 01:26:07 UTC

Pfft, nice excuses, we know you finally got evicted from Big Brother.

a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 01:28:17 UTC

On Big Brother, I was the housemate who hid in the bathroom all day to avoid being on camera.

I then tried to launch my own show called Survivor, but I couldn't get the individual band members to live peacefully under one roof.

Show us the 'eye' of your 'tiger'. snizzpod July 5 2005, 01:34:33 UTC

Explain to me why every time I think of Big Brother, I think of Schappelle Corby. In three words or less. Your time starts.... NOW.

Re: Show us the 'eye' of your 'tiger'. a_lad_inane July 5 2005, 01:38:21 UTC

::EMERGENCY NON-SEQUITUR RESPONSE GENERATOR::
Because you're Amish.
::EMERGENCY NON-SEQUITUR RESPONSE GENERATOR::

Thread 5