I watched "The Vampire Lestat." last night.

What a hopelessly stupid movie.

Aaliyah was painfully bad to watch.

I know you should not speak ill of the dead but...

Someone do a pornographic version.

145 lbs.  Time to go to werk.

Monday;   145.5 lbs.

Tuesday;  146.0 lbs.

Wednesday;   145.5 lbs.

Today;   145.0 lbs.  

Eddie took a vacation and came back yesterday.  His first customer upon returning was a doozy.

We'll call her Ruth, not her real name which I probaly should'nt use.  We fixed Ruth's car once, now everytime it breaks down she thinks we "Did Something Wrong" and should repair it for free.

The initial repair was a busted exhaust system.  Now if the ( Read more... )

We got a new printer at work.

One of the tow truck drivers caught his kid smoking pot.  Right in his house.

Nothing new.

No, I have not died.  It's just been incredibly busy here at werk.

Mom is back from the hospital, and doing fine.  My weight has started to creep back down (146.5) and things are getting back to normal.

We had a drug dealers car, a Pontiac that belonged to a guy named "Jumby".

The car had been all shot up.  I counted eighteen bullet holes in the body ( Read more... )

Some guys car breaks down and the towers haul him and his car in.

He asks to use the phone to call his friend to come pick him up.

After a quick discussion, it's determined that his "friend" is not going to be bothered.

He yells into the phone, "You're a horse cock!  A horse cock!  And your wife is a cow's ass!"

Then he slams the phone down and walks ( Read more... )

Well, not really.

147 lbs.

Is'nt it funny?  When I was 150 and I got down to 147, I was like "YES!  I'M JACKED!".  Then I get down to 142, and now that I'm 147 I'm like "SHIT!  I'M A HOG!".

Now here's the reasons why;

My mom's in the hospital.

The Burger King down the street is open late now.

Mom has asthma problems every spring.  This year, that put her ( Read more... )

I did so much bitching and whining about the snow this winter, I thought I'd just say that today was beautiful.

The District Manager calls me up this morning.  He needs to talk to me when I get into werk.

Not the manager.  The district manager, who runs like eight shops.

I get into werk and there he is.  I'm like "Oh shit, here we go..."

He gets me into the office, and just wants to "talk".  Basically, he wants to know what happened last night.  My first ( Read more... )

Some Arab walks into the gas station and asks for a "Super Bowl" ticket.

After three minutes of utterly stupid discussion, I learn that he means "Power Ball".

Mother fuck gets mad at ME, like it's MY fault he's retarded.