i feel so replaced, so out of place, like i dont belong with the people im always with. my personality is nothing like any of theirs, im not as happy as i used to be.. im never happy, its all just smiles, laughs, fake laughs. everyone has somebody else they can run to, but who do i have? no one. EVERYONE HAS SOMEONE ELSE. and i dont care if you say ( Read more... )

afraid of change yet in desperate need of it. a simple difference in life can affect a person so greatly. i look to my left and see pictures, pictures of memories, moments captured on paper forever. once i was asked "if your house was burning down, what would be the first thing you grabbed because you left?" you know what my answer was? my pictures ( Read more... )

i wish i could disappear for a moment, and see how people would react without me. i dont think it would really matter. I dont think my influence on people makes much of a difference. theres so many things i wonder, ahh. I hate cliques, i hate them more than anything, and i hate not really being considered "friends" with the people i care so much ( Read more... )

wow i cant believe it snowed today. ERGHATURE... so this morning i went into school and sat, by myself, just waiting for the bell ring. I dont think ive ever wanted to go to class any more. i dont know how to feel, i dont know what to think about people anymore. i dont even know anything. im so out of feelings right now, i neeeed to get away, but i ( Read more... )

I really need to look at who I am.. I need to start making smart decisions and doing the best I can. I need to be friends with people who WANT to be friends with me, and talk to the people who are willing to listen to me. Why do I care so much about people who dont give a shit about me? I really dont know, but its driving me fucking crazy. I dont ( Read more... )

each day seems to go by quicker and quicker with the weather being so warm, and not sure why, but it is. sometimes i feel so unappreciated, as does 20 billion other people...i love the regulators song. its just really gangster. I think, and wish for days or nights like ive experienced in the past, that have just been so amazing, but realized they ( Read more... )

its sunday, and a very boring and lonely weekend just passed. didnt do anything, didnt see anybody... all weekend. i miss brittany, i miss her a lot :(... I miss jessie too, a lot, and im sad. I want to go to saratoga, now. Ive been debating over whether i want to go or not, but i dont think i can live without my saratoga friends and i like them ( Read more... )

im bored with everything, and tired of dealing with it. Waiting for something exciting to happen is taking too long, and why should I even want it anymore? Exciting things always somehow come to an end anyway, so whats the point? I somehow always allow myself to be the one let down, and destroyed becasue of someone or something. Why is that? Why do ( Read more... )

was sick today, couldn't even get out of bed this morning...pretty painful, i'd say. scratch my last journal entry, it was just out of anger and restentment and shouldn't have been said. Sometimes I love my friends, and sometimes I hate em, but what are you gonna do? thats what highschool is about. you gain them and you lose them, but the real ones ( Read more... )

well isnt this dandy. all I try to be is fair, I want to be the person who I KNOW i am, not someone fake who follows the crowd like all of you and myself have been. So what, now that I go out on a limb, and decide to feel the way I, myself want to, all I get is shit for it? from the best friends who I thought were REAL? Yeah well if you guys had ( Read more... )