i went to the gym today

then i went home..ate myself into oblivion...went food shopping for more
and then my roomie convinced (heh) my to get pizza

i weigh 238 pounds, and i am completely out of control

It seems clear to me now that M was nothing but a fraud. That my emotions were played with..and manipulated...for as long as he felt the need ( Read more... )

sometimes when i let my mind wander..i think a little crazy ( Read more... )

I get soo agrivated with myself ( Read more... )

The MC thing is strange ( Read more... )

I think I got a little away from myself with MC.

I need to stop having sex with men and THEN hoping for a relationship.

I'm worth more than this.

I'm going to try to use this journal as therapy..i'm going to try to be as honest as i can. consider it an experament ( Read more... )

i had a great talk with my dad. i love that man.

had a great date with MC. I'm afraid to get too excited about it. He's a loner and he's comfortable with that. I like him because he's got alot of layers.

I'll see him either sunday...or tuesday. I really want this to work.

I did not go to the gym before work ( Read more... )

I did not weigh myself tonight before bed. i will wait for tomorrow.

I packed gym clothes, but I think I will go to the gym in the morning.

Work starts at 745. I'll give myself 45mins toget ready and get to work (its 10mins from the gym.)
I need to be at the gym by 6.

Lets hope this works