i will be 20 soon tommorow. weird. 20....where am i going? where do i want to go? should i stay?
everyone is bothering me. everyone just needs to shut the fuck up sometimes.
why is it hard to be the way i want to be. i confuse myself into silence.
this attraction...
JUST LET GO

im going to chicago for my birthday. i am really excited how all of this came about. my brother is doing this HALO tournament thing there and my parents didnt want him just to go with one of shanes friends tony so shane and i are tagging along. but...while josh is doing his thing shane and i are going shopping, eating out and having fun running ( Read more... )

well life has been...going. not bad. well sometimes bad. this morning or well for the past two days my car has beenover heating and i have needed to wear long johns just to stay warm while driving. missed my work meeting today. haha. everything is day by day. people are the oddest. they never cease to amaze. last night shanes car broke downn and ( Read more... )

i am outside of myself wanting what i see elsewhere. but not knowing quite what that might be. there is so many things i have potential for but the comfort is settling in again.

the previous entry was written by....shane allport. haha

Today I was so sick and shane took care of me all day. it was the best day of my life

why am i not like i used to be. why do i not get happy anymore. i hate all the times i was ever disappointed cause that was the beggining of all the changes. happy birthday. dont know what to give or if i have anything to give. i am shitty. even my ways to become happy are cutting short. i am just cutting short all the time. when will this end. ( Read more... )

help! i am disappearing. theres a million things that are constantly ruining my life.

so i just recently walked out of my history midterm. i was not aware of this midterm until about noon today, when i overheard someone talking about how this week is midterms. i immeadiatly looked in my sylabis and was struken by the bold letters that read: WEEK OF OCTOBER 9, 2005 MIDTERM ( Read more... )

yesterday went to the dreaded place of tiki bobs. but i decided i would go since a bunch of people from work were going and i wanted to get real wasted. which i did. and i ended up getting kicked out cause i was too wasted and threw up and i got escorted out. haha. shane is in randomly at western this weekend. which irritates me cause we both do ( Read more... )