i had the stomach flu the last two days. i could not stop barfing, it was awful. the only good thing was lost i lost 4 pounds.

oh and today, its 0 degrees out.

brandon left of tuesday. ive written him a letter everyday so far, but cant send them till he sends me one with his address. i feel so lonely. nothing feels important anymore, its just surreal to not be able to see or talk to him. everything reminds me of him, at least he doesnt have to go through that. ive been getting high alot, it seems to be ( Read more... )

brandon was suppose to leave feb. 12th for the marines. but in order to get the intelligence job he wants now he has to leave jan 10th. my birthday is jan 11th ( Read more... )

things have really been looking up. school is out for break, im becoming more numb towards work, and me and brandon are better than ever. maybe this christmas wont include me locked up in my room while our annual christmas party is going on, maybe this year will actually be fun for me. im still not 100% done with gifts, but im not worried about it ( Read more... )

so brandon is going to be gone for 90days as of feburary. i dont know what to do with myself. do we keep dating for those three months and survive on strictly phone calls. or do we take a break. im already a manic depressant, i cant take the one and only person i spend all my time with being gone for that long. but if we take a break, what happens ( Read more... )

as of tomorrow morning brandon will become part of the united states marine core.

and my emotions are running wild.

today, like always i visited brandon on his break. i tried to make a move but he rejected me. he keeps getting mad at me when i try to kiss him and/or make anything happen. i told him i was sexually fustrated, and he got mad and silent.

i feel defective and pathetic.

Brain Lateralization Test ResultsRight Brain (50%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (56%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain
Are You Right or Left Brained?(word test)
personality tests by similarminds.com

i worked 9-5 today. people get crazy around the holidays. i think ive lost all hope for the human race. thats all.

mom- "i dont want you and brandon alone in your room anymore, i know what you two have been doing up there"
me- "and what would that be?"
mom- "having sex!"

my mom is a born again christian. awkard doesnt even cut it.