it appears that pretty much only brittany reads my journal anymore. so... i've been wanting to tell you that i had this weird dream a while ago. you were for some reason in LA and we bumped into each other and we instantly and magically were in love. and i was so happy with you and then elan came around and i felt so horrible and i didn't know what ( Read more... )

my mother dearest is 61 today. to be honest she looks a lot prettier than i remember her being throughout my whole childhood. hooray for mommies ( Read more... )

when i went to let keegan into the backyard just now, i sat down on the steps waiting for him to be ready to come back in and a bee landed right smack on my knee (err, the blanket that was covering my knee b/c i didn't get dressed to let keegan out i just wrapped a blanket round myself and rocked it out). i'm not one to freak out about bees; when i ( Read more... )

i'm baking again. hopefully this won't lead to be fat again. right now i have a batch of strawberry cookies and a batch of banana cookies ( Read more... )

i wish i got along with people my own age even half as well as i get along with 11 year old girls at work :(

i feel like such a failure.

i don't know why i'm so scared again... but i want it to go away. i need it to go away.

i just realized... this latest dive into unforeseen depression probably has a lot to do with the fact that for a little while there i had "friends". i can't help but feel rejected. it seems i scare everyone away. i need people to spend time with.

it really pisses me off to realize that i'm never going to get to take care of a really young baby until i have my own. babysitting/nannying for a little baby is more babysitting the mom than anything. i know i'll probably be a million times worse than most moms when my time comes, but for right now... i just want to get to take care of a wee one ( Read more... )

i found her. i finally found her. and there she was, all the time... right in front of me and i didn't see it. i don't know exactly what it is that makes me feel like this...

myspace can sometimes be a beautiful thing.

...but lets wait and see if she adds me back...

i just told my mother that i am attracted to females as well as males. i knew she wasn't going to be upset... i didn't even know if she would be surprised. her actual reaction was, "when i first heard that it was acceptable for women to be w/ other women i kind of found myself thinking 'well, shit, now i'm stuck w/ a man.' i think i kind of had a ( Read more... )

Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter, has died @ 44. he was killed by a sting ray, not even eaten alive by a killer croc. he leaves behind a wife and 2 kids, ages 8 and almost 3. not only was he inspiration for hours upon hours of hilarity, but he was really good at what he did. i can't believe there will be no more croc diaries ( Read more... )