After pouring over the Mandos Release Forms for three days, I've decided not to tamper with them. It's occurred to me that all I've really wanted out of life was a goldfish that would answer my phone with a rohirric accent and occasionally paint my nails. Since fish don't generally have opposible thumbs, and I have a terrible record of killing ( Read more... )

*repaints nails* Mmn...has been rather slow for the past week - abnormally low mortality count. Left pieces of chewed gum and peanut butter discretely hid around the office for Hama to find. He's stumbled across most of them already - the lightswitch, chair, drawer handle, and under the table...three more to go ( Read more... )

How does a lady of leisure make her fabulous fortune? What grand secret do I posess in making money hand over fist? That's right...


( Read more... )

That's so not what I meant by blow on my nails, Hama! EEEEWwww. Must. Wash. Hands.

I attached some fishing line to Hama's phone, pencil holder, desk lamp, and inbox. Then I pushed his chair under the desk, and tied the other end of the line to the leg of his chair. The look on his face, when he pulled out his chair and everything went flying off the desk on the other side, was priceless.

Can't wait for him to realize his files ( Read more... )

Well after Denethor blew through looking for Boromir and couldn't find him, he ordered the staff to do a head count. Ever try to count fangirls? First you got to tranq them, but they move to fast for the dart gun. So we had to roll Hama through some sedatives, and let them go at him like a salt lick.

Long story short, we're missing a pirate. There ( Read more... )

There seems to be multiple stamps on Galadriel's Mandos Form. That could explain some of the duplicates. There's to on Gimli's. Hmmm....

I wonder if I can make a dozen Emoers and sell them like blow-up dolls. I could make a fortune.

In the meantime... topless filing.

Hama, be a dear and sign Uruviel a working visa? Please? :bats eyes lashes and bounces:

Hama passed out from exhaustion handling the return forms from the recent Mandos wedding.

I amused myself by stamping APPROVED across his forehead, and then telling him it was a tattoo when he woke.

I bought the kidney a Care Bear for the holidays. I may stop by the Malls of Moria and have its picture taken with the holiday Drunken Ulmo. It looks ( Read more... )

There appears to be a coffee ring stain on Hama's face, like someone's been resting their mug there.

Some days it just doesn't pay to ask.