i wish i could just forget i ever met him.
i couldnt even go out tonight cuz I'm still so damn down about it
plus my car decided to die today :(
I miss Matt so much. I know we could never be the way we were before but I just miss his voice, touch, smile, just him.

I feel sometimes like I have nothing to look forward to. When I was with Matt, I looked forward to seeing him, being around him. When it was time to start school, I was looking forward to the kids going back and having big kids ( Read more... )

ugh ugh ugh ( Read more... )

duh first sorry i for some reason thought trace's bday was today but it's tomorrow. TODAY is my sad day. Today one year ago I did the most morally disgusting thing I've ever done but it still turned out to be the best decision for the situation. How is that possible? I sound wrong just saying that. All I know is I wish the whole thing never ( Read more... )

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

i wrote what i meant for livejournal in our yahoo group. doh! anyway i guess most of the same people read both LOL ( Read more... )

Ugh Adrianna has been so bad. I had to ban her from trick or treatin. I dont want to but she has been so very very bad this week. Actually ever since I got out of the hossy and she started kindergarten. I'm so embarrassed with her behavior ( Read more... )

Today was kinda nice. Lori took me to dinner at Bugaboo. It was so sweet. Mike paid for it. They're both sweeties. Lori gave me a bear and 3 cards yesterday. All to cheer me up cuz I thought I was gonna be admitted. At least I don't have to do that cuz it's hard to find someone to watch the kids for 3 days ( Read more... )

Yay Yay. I get to do in home infusion. I have to be IVed for a few hours every day from Friday-Sunday. Yay I am a lot happier about that.
I still feel like the whole in my heart where Matt was will never be filled.

I may end up going back in the hossy tomorrow or for outpatient difusion services. I called my neurologist about my leg, falling a lot, having trouble at times feeling when i have to go potty (i know eww i'm sorry) and just feelin bad ( Read more... )