the thing is i am so physically ill right now i cant sleep. laying down fuckin hurts. and yay i get to go to work tomorrow after feeling this way and being up this late. and the rest of the people in my house can sit on their asses all day tomorrow ( Read more... )

if i could just talk to him one more time
i need closure

if i could just go one day without crying
i need peace

if i had never met him
not only would i have never been that happy
i would have never felt this bad

sorry about yesterday. somebody said something that fucked me up ( Read more... )

omg i didnt realize i was such a bitch. i really must talk and complain too much. i'm so sorry.

my annoyance in my previous entry has to do with the fact that i'm the only one in my house who works and now my mom, brother and his girlfriend stay here all day do nothing and eat all the food i buy for the kids and use up a lot of electricity... ummm and my mom said she'd watch my kids tomorrow so i can go to work if i pay the electric bill
FUCK

i still miss you so much. back when we were still talking you were supposed to be here today. It's been 3 months sunday since I seen you last. I miss you so much ( Read more... )

am i the only one who thinks the yahoo smiley is evil looking ya know the thing on messenger

i hate everything anymore. Me worrying about Matt and my stupid ass retarded family (my brother and his girlfriend moved in) and I hate my mom's 26 year old boyfriend are making me sicker. Last night I had a reaction to my shots and had a high fever and leg tremors and sickness all night. I didn't go to work today and may be fired. Who knows, who ( Read more... )

I was doing ok until an hour ago. Something reminded me of Matt and I lost it. Driving. I just dropped my friend off and I got gas at Wawa's. On the way home, something reminded me of him and I just lost it. Bawling, talking to myself. I mean, they saw it's better to have loved then never at all but fuck no it doesn't. I am so distraught still. I ( Read more... )

i'm a little tipsy right now please forgive me. i'm so lame it's been so long since i drank that one smirnoff green apple made me ridiculously giggly and silly. one of my best guy friends came over just left it's 11:51 and we had fun just being silly. It's kinda hard though cuz he wants more than I could ever give him ( Read more... )