today would have been our one year anniversary. i cried about it for 5 minutes and then i told myself no more. i was good with it. i realized today that if he is done with me it's his loss. there's only one andrea in this world. so fuck it. maybe he could do better in some ways but not in all ways ( Read more... )

every day gets a little better. i don't cry anymore. i'm just numb ( Read more... )

sucky sucky mood swings ( Read more... )

it was all my fault. i was mean. i wanted to push him away. i didn't want to force him into a relationship with someone who could end up dependent. why did i have to get sick we were doing ok. we had a plan, we had a future. i pushed him away before he could reject me. i love myself for caring enough about him to give him a normal life. i hate ( Read more... )

hi everyone I'm back to work now for 3 weeks, still have yet to get a full paycheck ewww ( Read more... )

grrr i had a whole entry typed up last week and it was private duh now i feel like a total dipshit. i get to see matt again on friday for his 22nd birthday. woohoo!

hi everyone i miss you. i'm gonna be damn 24 in 3 days. I cant believe it. Everything else has been crazy- my car's been in the shop for 2 weeks, Alandre got terminated from daycare for fighting again so i had to find him a new place for the summer. At least he passed and gets to go to 1st grade (he wasnt fighting at the real school just ( Read more... )

hey i miss everyone i've emailed a lot of your and almost no one wrote back. it's all good though. grrr. i know how mommies are. i'm lucky mine arent as little and helpless ( Read more... )

matt told me he's coming to se me in 3 weeks yay i hope it really happens. kids are having a fabulous christmas and i hope you all are too.
love you girls

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