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thoughts i cant seem to finish
i want to write the backdrop. the current status. set the tone for how i came to the feelings i've got right now, but the backdrop isn't why. so it doesn't matter much ( Read more... ) -
two things
i think its a good thing that i struggle for words, these days. it must mean im feeling more and thinking less, and i know i have needed to. i didn't work today. i filled my day with friends and family and roadways lined with trees. there are only two things i really want to say about who i saw and what was said. the first, is that i realized the ( Read more... ) -
letters say it better
before work ended i tried to write down everything i had flowing through me, but everything isn't flowing through me. everything's blocked. by too much noise, too much surface, too much something, and i cant get to it. it all comes out sounding like some simple "i need something that i cant define" that i cant get right on my own, somehow. and that ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
so many things happen around me at once. so many sounds. so much noise. i pretend i can shut it out, think clearly this way, but i cant. but there are moments when i hear the nothing that's always there. and when i hear it i feel warm. the kind of warm you can only feel in winter when you're forced to try. and it makes you wish things. if its cold ( Read more... ) -
this is fucked up and i cant do it anymore
this is ridiculous ( Read more... ) -
they're not you
its been months now. its been twenty something advances from people who dont have your face. and im still sleeping alone at night. they slide me their numbers, and i find reasons why they are terrible people. i give them to the garbage man. im supposed to be getting over this ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
you were(are) everything to me. -
the break of summer
the words float above my head, a thousand unwritten sentences rearranging. typewriter letters shifting in a messy black and white cloud. if i wait for the honest ones to settle into view...
im afraid i'll never again feel in my life the love i feel for you.
my heart film still hides from the light in a canister, waiting to develop.
hoping for a ( Read more... ) -
we just get better at lying
i suddenly feel that everything about my life should be rewritten. its as if what you've read, what i've shared, is all just a thin, minuscule veil of what my life is about. what i've told of it, the majority, has been that veil. what you know of it, what you've read, heard, or perhaps experienced is only that veil. its possible you added your own ( Read more... )
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