The Ant sniffles and snorts.

[antigrasshopper]

I don't understand how I can be vegan, so healthy that I fix broken stethoscopes by touching them, have an apartment full of well-tended-for plants, and still be allergic to spring. I don't understand it. It's ridiculous. April never used to make me sneeze.

I am sure it's the stress. I am positive.

Comments

[bibbidibob]

Stress makes the body do odd things.

I didn't know you were a vegan.

[antigrasshopper]

It does.

I am, except for the occasional dose of honey in the tea.

Librarians/Elena

[fathergander]

Yes, wonderful idea. Hold please while I dig deep into this overflowing chest of wealth and treasures with which New York University pays all of its staff. So thankful am I to have pursued a career path noted for its extravagant compensation. Doubloons for everyone!

For serious though. Keith managed to toil out a small bale of gold hay before he realized that he had more dignified options doing pretty much anything, ever. Furthermore, whoever is currently in possession of our goose has decided to go all mysterious benefactor and dropped off a carton of gold eggs mysteriously last week. We're still liquifying all of this so that you can drop it into the savings jar.

Librarians/Elena

[antigrasshopper]

There is no savings jar worth speaking of. If we switch to generic coffee (ill-advised) and can postpone further window-smashing for at least a few months, we might be able to wrangle up a change purse worth of savings.

Can I sit in on the punishment of the mysterious benefactor, when he is caught?

Librarians/Elena

[fathergander]

This must be extremely frustrating for you, having nothing to embezzle.

Play your cards right, and you might get to turn the screws yourself.

Librarians/Elena

[antigrasshopper]

I did follow a career path known for its extravagant compensation. Extremely. If I embezzled from the Atheneum it would have to be as a sort of hobby, and we all know that I do not engage in hobbies.

[xwhatbigteethx]

Nothing a good steak wouldn't cure.

Well, a good steak and a roll in the hay. Consider both handy-dandy cures up for grabs, at your convenience.

[antigrasshopper]

Go away.

[xwhatbigteethx]

Come now. It'll cure what ails ya.

[antigrasshopper]

You do not make me any less sick! Your presence is clinically verified to make me more sick.