Happy birthday Mary-Kate and Ashley, and happy half birthday to me. Ugh. I soo don't want to be 23. I'm not nearly mature enough, and I've only had one REAL relationship...which was a disaster.

Anyways, went out on a date with a guy we'll call J last night. Wanna see?


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as I've been getting in trouble for internet usage at work. All I want to say is that I purged twice yesterday. This morning, I stopped and bought

2 King size kit kats
A double decker oatmeal creme pie
Tall can of cheese pringles
a diet pepsi

Oh, and I had five pieces of french toast and some mushrooms with melted cheese this morning. I semi want to die ( Read more... )

After like two weeks of constant binge/purging, my weight crept up like two pounds. I've got to get back on track here. I loved that I was losing...slowly, but losing REAL weight for the first time in a while. So, I took some laxatives after purging a giant dinner last night and woke up at 129.5. Woohoo! So far today I've had...

1 oatmeal packet
A ( Read more... )

My life is so messed up right now. I never even liked Matt and now that he's gone, of course I miss him desperately. I've had sex with TWO guys in the last WEEK...which made me feel incredibly dirty and hate myself. I can't stop throwing up, and I'm scared God is going to punish me by taking away the stuff I've worked so hard for. After days of me ( Read more... )

I had a good weekend with Matt, but today.....ugh. It's officially Tuesday now, so I guess I can stop bitching. All Sunday night I dreamed about Eric coming back and things being good. I realize this is because I looked at some of our old pictures. I did this, because I panicked when I thought I'd accidentally erased the cd they were on. I hadn't, ( Read more... )

My weight slipped down to 129.5. I haven't been in the twenties in awhile, and I'm starting to feel like I did when I was anorexic...gazing in the mirror to find my bones, losing weight rapidly. I know it's wrong, but I can only hope it continues. I binge/purged three times today, but didn't eat anything inbetween ( Read more... )

things went downhill. I knew i'd want to binge, so I stole two bucks for the vending machine and called wing zone ( Read more... )

Well, class got out early, and I have a few minutes to talk, so I guess I will. I've been MOSTLY unbulimic today...I had a big, giant, wonderful salad at lunch........chickpeas, ranch dressing, red peppers, egg, and those yummy green peas, whatever they are. A few pretzels. Then...well, I came upon my roomie's stash of easter candy and quickly ( Read more... )

Hello all! I was so happy to gain so many livejournal friends. I love to read about the lives of others :P I feel like I finally have a moment to breathe and type. So today started out weird. I had the strangest dream last night, and I've yet to interpret it on http://www.dreammoods.com
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This is the infamous bulimic coke bottle. I've always had amazing control over my vomit. I can puke into just about anything. As a child, I always puked my food into my mouth and ate it again...a rare eating disorder now known to be called "rumination". Anyway, for gross outs and ews......hopefully this will all be behind me soon :)


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