I have failed to mention up until this point, but I have switched jobs quite some time ago. Yes, no longer bound as a slave to the phones of Murkwood Marketing, conducting paltry consumer questionnaires and occaisonally worming into the feeble minds of men the seed of the Dark Lord's will, that it might grow and fester, to bring those fools under ( Read more... )

The Most Illustrious Dark Lord and myself spent all of this day clearing out the old cellars of the Tower Orthanc. The current tenants discovered the basements and sub-basements his Darkness and myself had installed to support our growing horde. Before anyone asks how it went, just imagine ( Read more... )

Today, the Most Noble Eighteenth of July, the Seventh month of the Year Two-Thousand and Six, is the commencing date of the first Hyde Parkian Great Beard Battle. It promises to be a daring and engaging fight, a test of true Manliness and Gentlemanly Bearditude ( Read more... )

What is with all this fuss about David Blaine? More like David Plain. Such parlor tricks could hardly match the power of myself or my Dark Lord. Submerging yourself in a vat of water? Fool. Fish do that daily, and not by choice, and you do not see their tiny little livers failing, do you? As soon as I am not working full double shifts down at ( Read more... )

Breaking character for just a second ( Read more... )

Oh I am about fed up with all of this ( Read more... )

Well, it has been a while since I have written anything for this Living Journal. I do mean to write more, I assure you, but, you see... it his His Divine Dark Lord ( Read more... )

... Or at least not do so for a good long while, such that the price goes down 15 American dollars, or it becomes relegated to the "Best-Selling Playstation Games Ev4r" section of the rack, and subsequently goes down 10 dollars in price- how does that even work ( Read more... )

My Great, Powerful, and Exaggeratedly Deceased Lord and Master, Sauron, has, of late, discovered through a powerful scrying tool known mysteriously as the "Ghu-gell Serge Enjine," that couples celebrating milestones of certain increments of time spent bound in matrimony exchange traditionally selected gifts varying in value and ritualistic ( Read more... )

Woe! My dearest companion and friend, more dear to me than any other (yes, that includes you, Dark Lord Sauron, you ingrate disembodied now-deceased eyeball of suckage) has departed the realms as we know them ( Read more... )