alright kids, this journal is, for the most part, going friends-only. log in! you know you'll miss me if you don't.

you know, i really really miss one thing in st. louis. it's this dive of an italian place, but that's not it's redeeming value. it's also a package liquor store. that DELIVERS. not only can you get anything from everclear (!!) to condoms delivered until 3 a.m. (hah! like i need condoms!), but they'll also deliver things like chicken parmigiana and ( Read more... )

so, because the dinner options (dry roast beef, watery mac and cheese, carrot mush and brittle basmati rice) were just not up to snuff tonight, i decided to have ice cream there instead. just as i was preparing my vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce and m&m's, i noticed something funny. yes, the candies were definitely m&m's. the colors seemed a ( Read more... )

On the difficulty of economic viability in America: "I used to go around saying, 'Everybody should pull himself up by his own bootstraps, just like I did.' What I learned about this country is: Not everybody has boots ( Read more... )

i now have windows 2000! no more blue screen errors! yay!

i have a million pages of reading to do. but that's what sunday (better known as homework day and/or the sabbath) is for.

yay for new operating systems!

just now, the crane outside my window lifted up and spun, for all the world to see, a giant turquoise porta-potty, deposited it into the middle of the construction site. before it had even been detached from the crane, a harried-looking worker rushed inside and slammed the door.

now that's service.

ever since the construction outside my window intensified (2 new floors a week on the building!), i've been fascinated with men in tool belts. they really didn't do much for me before now, perhaps because i was always close enough to see their mullets and get in the path of their chaw spit. but now that they look like lots of worker ants building ( Read more... )

i've just noticed that scary people hang out in the cafe ( Read more... )

clean and sticky is better than dirty and sticky, right?

i decided to mop with 409 because the other stuff wasn't working. except 409 is like glue when it dries on your skin or, apparently, your linoleum. whoops.

they are going to find me dead in my kitchen. my boobs will flop lifelessly as the coroner rolls me over. "huh," he will say, as it will seem completely mysterious how i died. no gas leak, no asphyxiation, too young for a heart attack ( Read more... )