On Saturday, the fat man brought home a rifle. How high my hopes soared at the thought of the MAYHEM I could commit. Then he showed me the barrel. It is a TARGET rifle, not a HUNTING rifle. I cannot kill anything with this. I am furrrrrrious.

Have a good Ramadan!

Not much has been happening, my followers. The weatherrr is now cooler. This is good because the heat gave my mama a RASH. On her BUTT! Laugh at her.

The Fat Man continues to be fat.

My arthrrrritis is now better. I am running and jumping again.

Mama is going away in a couple of weeks to go back to the Godforsaken Land of Ice. STUPID!

Mama took me to see Dr Jeremy today. She said I was in GRRRRREEAT PAIN because of my arrrrthrrritis. (If you spent yourrr life guerrrrrila fighting in the jungles of Siam, you would have it too!) Dr. Jeremy said, take this medicine forrrr her, it is MORRRPHINE. It is not addictive to cats ( Read more... )

The Mexicans believe that therrre have been FIVE SUNS.

At this moment, they are all in my living room.

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It lookssss as if I DID ssspill the beans when I was being torrrrturrrred. They found out my master plan to destrrrrrroy the finances of this godlesss countrrrrry.

I am very deeply ashamed.

Allahu Akbarrrrr! As of Frrrriday night, after I return from mosque, my mama will be staying home. With me! She will give me tuna and we will watch anime. Life is good in Sun Diego. I shall let her work on her disserrrrtation when I am napping.

Torture is only funny when it happens to someone ELSE ( Read more... )

Mama and Papa took me to the vet where Dr. Jeremy, who is a vampire, took my blood. Today he has told Mama that my kidneys are becoming weak and that I must eat food with less protein.

This kidney weakness is something I have because of my CLOSE PURRSONAL FRIENDSHIP with Osama. It is a badge of PRRRRIDE!

Do not worry, my followers. Evil never