...and suddenly, you discover that it's light outside and that you've spent the last 5 hours fucking around on GoogleMaps, looking at satellite photography of all the places in America that mean something to you. 5 hours. Christ-nailed-to-two-pieces-of-wood, I need to get a life.

-ZGS

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I'm a firm believer in the hypotenuse ( Read more... )

Today, I had a girl tell me the following:

"You look like Adam Sandler, only hot. But not rich. So maybe not as hot."

That' me, I guess. A poor man's Adam Sandler. Fucking fantastic.

-ZGS

Are you watching this shit? This is the most ridiculous game of all time. Ever.

Go to the offical FIFA website and look at the match results. Particularly, observe how many yellow and red cards were handed out. Insanity.

-ZGS

It's around three in the morning as I'm writing this. I got home about an hour ago from Newton to the unpleasant remnants of one of my roommates' 21st birthday party. In the sixty minutes or so that I've been here, I've had to do the following ( Read more... )

Everyone in Newton has padded toilet seats. I've taken three shits in three different houses since being here, and each one has been on luxurious foam filled pleather.

Grandma-tastic.

-ZGS

Everybody holler ROAD TRIP! Second weekend in a row, I'm headed out of town. This time, the destination is Newton, KS. I've never been to Newton. I don't know shit about Newton, KS. Okay, that's not true. The little that I know about Newton, or "The Tron," as it's called by some of the younger locals has been gleaned from listening to stories ( Read more... )

my heart, ripped right out of my chest.

damn you, USA. i'll never love again.

-ZGS

This weekend, my father and I are driving up to St. Paul to see the newest male addition to our family. On the one hand, I'm excited about it, but on the other, I really don't want to drive 7 hours anywhere with just my dad. Placing the two of us in an enclosed space is much the same as sealing a pair of praying mantises inside a glass jar. It's ( Read more... )