i dont see much point in posting here but i still come back now and then. my babys doing great, shes such a doll. her laugh is one of the best sounds ive heard in my life. we made such a gorgeous baby too. i will not be posting pictures on here for several reasons, just as i may be a little protective if i ever do bring her around social places i ( Read more... )

halloween was wonderful. i got to go to both partys, and made up with a couple of people i missed hanging out with. i only have a few, but really close, good friends. met some of his friends ive been waiting to meet for a long time. didnt take pictures like i wanted. but wonderful wonderful memories.

i got the best birthday gift i couldve recieved this year.

things are hectic but very slowed down. i see things more clearly but the silence is too strong. just a little longer and the silence will subside, my mind will be too busy to keep these thoughts, and i will have more of a life separated from what i had known. i cant stop thinking of whats been lost or walked away. when do you stop caring for ( Read more... )

i dont understand how things come to be sometimes. this is a cruel yet wonderful game.
i just wish i understood the rules a little better.

i want to let myself go, let my gaurds down for the opportunity to feel more, but im held back. my defences kick in and keep me distant. if he hurt me i think id break. i have to give the chance for more, more good i cant get with this wall. i have another war im fighting both sides of again. i cant have it both ways. i got my pictures the other ( Read more... )

I havent been truly moved in a long time, not until just a couple of days ago. i was surprised and moved, and surprised even more that i still could be that much with who ive become. im not happy with several things in my life right now, things are not at all how i want them to be, but at least in one aspect of my life, i am content. i hope i never ( Read more... )

I dont know the point of converstaions i have or relationships i keep. My dreams and reality are fading into each other a lot more lately, its getting harder to tell which is which. I wish I could stop questioning who truly cares for me. And more than anything I think, at this moment in my life, I wish I could shake this feeling that anyone I ( Read more... )

im still waiting for this haze to clear, i think its only gotten thicker. ive lost some sense of myself i once seemed to have. so much of my time that isnt working or sleeping is spent on things i feel are just distractions, i am letting my life pass me by. i dont feel as important to people as i want to be, things seem to go on just the same ( Read more... )

im taking steps back.
need to get things taken care of.
next month will be better.