the last couple of days have been soo full of beauty, laughter, anxiety, accomplishment, love and guilt ( Read more... )

so the last couple of days have been remarkably strange ( Read more... )

i have that end of the semester feeling that i have been doing work for a long time and can't stand it anymore. it is really frustrating. but i haven't done a bit of work for days. theo suggested i do something productive like clean my room or organize something. i think i may do that now...

yesterday was the first halfway decent day i have had in a while. i talked with laura later in the day about my roomates and how they will need a little extra coaxing to be good friends for me during rough times. we were at mike gubbins' birthday party and he had gotten a juicer. we made juice and then put vodka in it. people were nice to me and i ( Read more... )

yet another day in the life of billy. this day had some upsides though. i took robin out to lunch at angelica's and had some beer. i ate vegan because i am a sustenance-elitist freegan now. :) We talked about a lot. mainly relationships. robin went through a similar thing with callie back in the day and they are not together. but he seemed to be ( Read more... )

yesterday i spent every hour either working (10-2) or drinking (2-10). i have been living at shannon and lorens house because no one at my house seems to care. at least with them i can forget about it and have fun. i still wish i could talk to someone about it. work today from 8-4 then chris jude's party. i don't know if i should go out or stay in ( Read more... )

i have not felt so much in a long time. i feel like my heart has been dormant for at least a couple months. whether it is intense love or intense pain, at least now i am feeling human. funny how the older you get, the more it takes to realize that you are alive. i miss her so much ( Read more... )

its time, i suppose to get my life back together. i don't know what the hell this even means. but i need it. i have spent too much of the past 3 weeks getting myself down and being really critical of everything and everyone else.

my friends back home have changed, again, for the worse. people that i thought i'd be able to count on (you know, the ( Read more... )

fucking christ, i need to update this bitch!

i am drinking vanilla soymilk and eating an unhealthy amount of gooey coffeecake. i really hate christmas, but this one wasn't so bad. people actually hung out with me last night at the bars for my first legal drink and some friends are throwing a party for me tonight. i didn't get much today except for gift cards and money. but i did get my ( Read more... )