The last 4-5 years have been really tough on me. I keep making all of these transitions. I think the hardest part is not having any friends. I really miss all of my friends from high school. Of course, they are all at colleges in other cities and such. Lost touch. I can't figure out why I'm having such a difficult time making new friends. I think ( Read more... )

I have a feeling of impending doom. This isn't new...been around a while. I wonder if raising my dosage would solve anything. The only way I can see helping myself at this point would be finding "God." I'm a really unhappy athiest...I guess more agnostic. I want to believe in God so bad. Death consumes me...I think about it so often that I wonder ( Read more... )

I feel like venting. I have so much on my mind lately...not too sure how to word what I'm thinking without sounding like an asshole (or insane). I've stated this over and over again that I've made mistakes with friends, which I'm sure everyone has. Regrets are a part of life. Regardless though, I think I'm a pretty decent friend to have. I think ( Read more... )

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My birthday just passed a couple of weeks ago and I'm 21 now. I guess that's a good thing. The older I get the more I'm reminded of mortality. If I have already wasted 21 years doing a bunch of shit that accounted for nothing...then however many years I have left to live will fly by. That's how it feels at least. I really need to up my dosage on ( Read more... )

I'm going to the University of Houston now. I got a small scholarship too out of nowhere, which was definitely a nice surprise. I haven't really made any friends at school. I'm pretty anti-social. I just listen to everyone around me talk and I just judge them a lot. I know, it's not nice...but I don't know...I can't help but hear their stupid ( Read more... )

"The king in I died.
He kept floating past my eyes and singing his songs
life was good now death's all wrong
cause you can't feel a thing.
No heart flutters in the spring
You just drift and pray for sun kissed golden days."

mmm potato salad

Last night was Heather's 23rd birthday. We went to Spotlight Karaoke...very nice, big hit with everyone! I liked the private room a lot, most of all I like Heather :) hahah...she's turned into my best friend. Her, Mike, and Ryan are some of the only people I can depend on and trust. It's great having them in my life. Besides all of that...everyone ( Read more... )