i used to breathe and just go on with day to day life, but now that i am no longer the person who can just brush things off.... i dont know what to do. its hard enough to make something happen for yourself without the other variables getting in the way. for instance, i am totally infatuated with a guy who somehow comes in and out of liking me and ( Read more... )

lately i have been having these wonderful dreams and when i wake up i just want to fall back asleep and be happy. but then it all becomes this huge lie that makes me depressed and confused. i dont understand why i have to have this great life in my head, but then wake up and find that my life is 10 notches down from where i would like it to be. ( Read more... )

summer has been a total bust. the only thing that i have done is i went to the movies..as a date but at the same time i realized that he was too much of a friend.. so we are just friends.. part of me really needs to get off of this hurdle and move on.. and it isnt about nic anymore. it is about me and letting myself like someone else. i have a hard ( Read more... )

I made dance!! YAY> i am so excited because this is what i want and none of those stupid people in my life can take that away from me..
YAY for me!!
PeAcEs

i am so scared!! i am worried that i wont make performance dance and all my friends will. i really want this and if i dont get it i know that i am going to cry. so.. now i am afraid that the teacher isnt going to post them today. but after school.. and then i will have to wait until tomorrow to see it because i have ti ride the bus. and my mom said ( Read more... )

well... now i am in the middle of a nervous break down. Why cant i ever be happy. I mean i seem to give up all the good things in my life because they seem to much work. I think that maybe i should just give up on what i want because it seems it hurts me more than it helps me. I really want to pursue this whole Guy thing but i cant do it anymore if ( Read more... )

yeah so i had an.......well im still alive. I really dont want to be HERE anymore...i know that may sound scary to someone, but its how i feel. I cant seem to find my place anymore, but everyday i live....i feel more empty. Maybe i should just move....or DIE>>>>nic still wont talk to me and i dont know what else to do...he also has changed since he ( Read more... )

i feel like it may be too late to be happy, to be me. i mean people are being so weird...not everyone, just some certain people who seem to have only liked me because I was dating Nic. Yeah and now that i am without him, it seems like everyone would rather talk to me as nic's girlfriend. SO, maybe it is better being someone else, than being me. I ( Read more... )

well my life hasnt been the best thing ever but i have had some good points. i have actually realized that my life is okay and i really dont need to push additional stuff on myself at this time. my freshman friend Jameson suposedly likes me but i doubt that he only likes me. i dont want to bring all of my hopes up but i do hope someone becomes ( Read more... )

yeah i did break up with nic..like a while ago and now he has a new girlfriend who is my friend..if u want to get technical she is an acquantance...but the same feelings apply. it is weird to have a friend date my ex boyfriend and i dont know if i should even bother with this whole hoping that we will get back together. it seems pointless and i ( Read more... )