if there was more time, I would write here more often... I suppose I could (and maybe should, for those of you who care and do not have time to follow me around elsewhere) at least share what I write daily elsewhere but cutting and pasting it here, at least when there is not enough time to write a separate entry here (which is about every day)... I ( Read more... )

is never more apparent to me than here... for this was the first place I came as I drifted from the womb I created in a vain attempt to believe in a mother who turned out to be a fucker in the most painful sense of the word and to reach out to the world from a position of rebirth yet, for all the time that passed away from the womb and between now ( Read more... )

I've become so random, that is... that once a week entry thing didn't quite work out I see... for anyone seeking a taste of what I actually do offline in daily life, I've been keeping up almost daily updates, sorta brief even, in the RealTime™ blog (like I needed to start another... but I did so I did and I do use it even if nobody knows about it ( Read more... )

I have about one loyal commenter, a far away friend who reminds me that it is possible to connect through words and maintain the feeling of caring, the bond of friendship through words at a distance, at every one of my diaries, journals, and blogs... a different loyal commenter at each, in fact... I probably have a few more loyal readers (hello out ( Read more... )

I have been busy alternating between working myself to death and vegetating offline and just today I uploaded more entries than I have in the past few weeks I think, so here I am with one more gasp as I fall over ( Read more... )

will that satisfy me?... updating once a week, I mean... I doubt it... but that's almost what I've been doing in my diary that has become the primary babbling spot for me in recent times... I have updated a bit more in the new RealTime blog that is intended to be brief updates of real life offline for those who care and are in touch offline... and ( Read more... )

there are so many different places to write online and I've but scratched the surface of a few… I still haven't found the conversation I've lacked (but then, I doubt that can be found online unless it moves offline and into eye contact very quickly)… still, I put words out there in the hope that someone nearby (or someone who wants to be nearby) ( Read more... )

the anonymous comment can be so amusing when it is a parody of itself (would it be a pity if the commenter doesn't know it though?... that is the existential question of the day)... in the meantime, I thank you fine folk who travel the VARB (and this place doesn't even have a link or anything) to rate this candor well for spreading your joy and ( Read more... )

and how shall I (or we, if you have any ideas on sharing the responsibility with me) answer or define it, this being here concept... is it mostly my perception or is it tangible sharing that proves my existence in this space, in this place, this journal of candor... I flaunt my name as if it is a badge of honor I earned instead of just some word ( Read more... )

and whether I stay home or go out, every day I come home to sleep alone seems longer and longer (it might help if I sleep, but then, why sleep?), though since laments are generally reserved for the lands of the mostly dead where the ever so creative starving artists pines over lost loves and cries large and lonely tears for all the time passing ( Read more... )