Eons of thought and revelation have preceeded each and every one of us. It would be rediculous to consider our priveledge to be alive anything but a gift of sight to quickly glance into what surrounds us, and what may have been, or will be. It takes nothing more than to watch a completely insignificant event, that means nothing in the long run of ( Read more... )

Sometimes when I think i've got everything figured out, it just ends up all misconstrewed and painful. These days I almost always have an anxiety that I can't shake, and it feels like it's never gonna go away. I guess the only thing I can really do is take it day by day and hope I can just be able to relax again.

(wow, that one was actually

Sooooooo after being relentlessy fucked by verizon I went on over to t-mobile and nabbed a new cell. My new number is 858-231-3267

Recently I got into a discussion about pets and how they were brutally, and sometimes maliciously killed and it kinda got me thinking. What if we had human pets? Obviously, full grown people would most likely put up some kind of a fight if you scratched it behind the ears after taking a successful shit. My resolution for this you ask... midget pets ( Read more... )

Apparently noses can bleed at random. I was not privy to this knowledge until recently when I woke up with my hands and precious jacket covered in blood. At first I thought I had finally killed someone with my bare hands as opposed to death by severe making funnery. After concocting an ingenious plan on what to do with the body, I sneezed and ( Read more... )

Barophobia- Fear of gravity

What a pathetic existence that would be... that is all

It was 4am when I heard a single, weak knock reverberate through my halls. Tentatively, I cracked open my heavy wooden door and strained to see through the darkness. Nothing stirred and I began to relax, attributing the sound to be simply a natural occurance. I hobbled back to my bed in an attempt to salvage a few more hours sleep, but was stopped ( Read more... )

Nacho and I made our way into the darkened wood to seek out this new creature who'd been hitting on my bitch. Nacho finally broke the silence, "I dunno mang... when I used to run wetbacks across the border, sometimes we'd get attacked by coyotes, I think i'm kinda scurred mang ( Read more... )

I arrived at the science lab at around 8:30pm, one of the nerds was still there, busying himself at a microscope. I approached and asked if he could analyze some hair I had found. Apparently, analyzing hair which belongs to an unknown source is less interesting than gaping at your own semen in a petry dish because he basically shrugged me off. ( Read more... )

Today began as any other day normally begins. A smashed alarm clock and a sore asshole accompanied by a monumental amount of beer cans. As I trudged my way out into the hallway I noticed an exceptionally strange odor coming from our spare room. The smell only got stronger as I approached and upon further investigation I noticed a behemoth pile of ( Read more... )