nobody seems to really care about other people, I mean, not really. They use you to talk to to get shit off their chest, or they use you to have someone to accompany them somewhere, but they never really care. At least, it is rare to find a real friend. And sometimes it's hard to realize, when you are caught up in it. But life is cold, and so ( Read more... )

I haven't been depressed like this for a long time. Things are in motion now to move, and everything within me is saying STAY HERE. Unfortunately, I just can't. But maybe I will save money and move back up here, because Philly is a place I love now. If I think of it this way, maybe it will be tolerable. I just hate moving away from what I now ( Read more... )

Chapter 5: the Waters of the Tides ( Read more... )

Who are these strange relationship people? these people who cannot be whole in and of themselves, who are not happy unless they are with another person? Who are these weak minded idiots? Why does so much of life have to do with mating? can't a person be fully self reliant? It seems like a lot of women I know aren't. They don't have their own ( Read more... )

I got a damn flat tire...on the way to shock I ran over this crazy pothole. Fucking holes, i hate Those damn pot holes. But we made it fine to shock...it took a few hours to go flat. Shock was pretty good, and I had a good time earlier in the night, but then started getting depressed about the utah thing and became an angry, bitter lonely guy ( Read more... )

Well In three weeks my parents move to Utah. I have a really tough decision to make, because if I stay here, I will have my friends, and my parents said they will take over my car payment, so I could survive, but it would be a poor life. On the other hand, if I move to Utah, I will have no friends, and have to start fresh...again. The thing that ( Read more... )

How childish. What, are we 12? Megs IMed me a second ago telling me how she had an exhausting day, because she was fucking her boyfriend all night. Trying to make me jealous, lol.

I did nothing this week....and it felt great! I had a sienfeldien nothing weekend. I bought an animation program I am barely scratching the surface of...I did a new song that will be extremely offensive to women, but comes in response to women calling me a pig lately...however, it is a sarcastic song, because the point of view I take is one of an ( Read more... )

I don't know what is wrong with me and women, as far as getting to close goes. For some reason, whenever I like someone, and she likes me, and then i feel it start to move into a relationship thing, I don't want it. maybe I am scared. I don't know, but I feel like I just would prefer to be alone. I mean, I like this new girl, but I don't know if ( Read more... )

In the future, since this is a public journal, and i tend to forget that sometimes, I am no longer going to post people's names whom i assosiate with, and I am truly sorry to all of those I embarrased in doing so. Sometimes I say assholish things, or mention people in here, and it is without thinking that I do so, and mean of me, and I am truly ( Read more... )