FIC: WHEN OUR FRAMES COLLIDE 6/16
Title: When Our Frames Collide
Chapter: 6/16 - Crashing Down, Down, Down On Me
Author: carolinablu85. or you can call me Ella! (or you can call me Al, if you like the song...)
Characters: Luke/Noah, Hunter, Holden, Jack, Marcus (OC), Emily, Lucinda, Casey, Lily
Rating: PG
Spoilers: sequel to my fic "Sins of the Father," refers to lots of things that happened in that story, takes place a few months later!
Summary: Noah's secret unravels. And so do several people.
Disclaimer: I disclaim. I own a pair of sneakers, a cellphone, and some other stuff. The show? Nope, not that.
Author's Note: This chapter's title is brought to you by the song "Waiting For My Real Life To Begin" by Colin Hay! Beautiful song!
Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 /
Hunter had never been in a situation like this before. Ever. A friend may be in trouble, and he just didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Mostly because he’d never really had friends to worry about before. All of this was way out of his area of expertise. Computers? Yes. History, science? Sure. Even cooking, fine (as long as he didn’t break any eggs). But having to tell your friend that he may have been kidnapped as a two-year-old? There was no manual for that.
He stared again at the pictures he had printed out of Andrew Miller and slowly held them up next to the picture on his desk of the ‘Movie Night gang,’ as he called them. It was probably his favorite picture he’d ever owned, definitely his favorite picture that he himself was in.
He was standing behind the couch next to Casey, who had an arm around Hunter’s shoulders while his other was outstretched, making bunny ears behind Alison’s head. She was sitting on the couch next to Noah, Jade on his other side leaning her head down on his shoulder. Noah was grinning wide, his arms wrapped tightly around Luke who had just plopped himself down in Noah’s lap.
Hunter sighed and looked back and forth between Andrew and Noah. This was. Just. Insane. And definitely a conundrum.
Though he didn’t know what he should do, he knew what he shouldn’t. There was no way he was going to talk to Emily about this. Hunter was pretty sure he had some sort of feeling of affection towards his biological mother, but he wasn’t that dense. Emily would make a mess of this situation, would use it for her own good. And while Hunter was new to the whole ‘friend’ thing, he knew better than to subject Noah to that.
But then what now? Man, life was so much easier when he only had himself to worry about. Now here he was worried about Noah’s feelings, how Noah would react, how this would affect Noah and Luke and their family… He didn’t want anything to happen to them. But what could he do?
Hunter ran a hand through his hair haphazardly. This was way out of his league! He was Research and Technology Guy, not Protective and Comforting Guy-
…Wait. Wait. That was it!
Hunter gathered all the papers and photos he had printed out, shoving them into a messy pile even as he reached for his phone with his other hand. He hit a speed dial (number four) and anxiously waited for an answer, picking up the pile of papers and stumbling towards the door. When the line picked up, he didn’t even wait for the other person to answer. “Hi, it’s me. Hunter. It’s Hunter. Something might be, uh, happening. Something bad. And I think you need to help.”
************
The annoying trill of a cell phone was definitely not the first sound Luke wanted to hear upon waking up. He grumbled, keeping one arm wrapped around the body next to him as the other arm flailed around for the offending object. He cracked one eye open to confirm that it was too damn early- 7:22 am. Too damn early- and then flipped open the phone. “It’s Sunday morning,” he said in way of greeting.
“I know, Luke, God I’m so sorry,” the voice on the other end replied somewhat timidly. “But you told me to call if-”
“Stacey?” Luke sat up with a yawn, the arm wrapped around Noah sliding up to rest on his boyfriend’s shoulder, rubbing it absentmindedly.
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry,” his Grimaldi Shipping assistant said again.
Luke shook his head a little to clear it, letting out another yawn. “No, it’s okay, what’s wrong?” There’s no way she would call unless it was important. Even if it was too damn early.
“You told me to call you if I ran into any more discrepancies in expense reports?” she somehow made that into a question. “And I did. Find more discrepancies, I mean.”
“The same as last time?” Luke frowned, the time now forgotten, twisting to sit on the edge of the bed. He tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder so he could use both hands to change out of sweatpants and into jeans.
“The same. Same amount, same place on the reports, everything. But there’s no money missing from any account that I can find… it’s just weird, Luke.” Stacey cleared her throat. “Also, I came across some paperwork that someone forgot to fill out again…”
Luke groaned. “Oh crap, the Agathon merger. I completely forgot. When do those contracts need to be faxed out?”
He could hear the smile in her voice. “By noon today. I’m sorry to drag you in here on a Sunday, but-”
“No, no, I’ll be there in a bit. Give me a couple minutes to get the 7:30am out of my system and I’ll be on my way,” he rubbed at his eyes again.
“Okay, I’ll see you soon. Sorry about the early call again, and apologize to Noah for me if I woke him up,” Stacey said, again with an obvious smile, before hanging up.
Luke couldn’t help but smile a little bit too, pulling a shirt on over his head before turning and leaning back towards the center of the bed, where Noah was still sleeping soundly. “Noah?” he dropped a kiss onto Noah’s shoulder, but his boyfriend didn’t stir.
And then Luke felt like smacking himself in the face. Of course Noah wasn’t waking up. He was drugged out on two prescription-grade sleeping pills. All the worry from last night rushed back into him, and Luke had to take a second to gather himself. Noah would probably be out for a couple more hours, Luke knew he’d have enough time to run to work and back, but… a huge, ginormous, elephant-sized part of Luke was hating himself for even thinking of leaving Noah at all before he got to the bottom of all this.
With a sigh, he reached out and gently pulled on Noah’s shoulder, turning him onto his back. Noah mumbled softly, face now pointed in Luke’s direction. Luke let his hand run gently up from shoulder to face to the top of his head, resting his fingers in Noah’s hair. He had to run into work, but he wasn’t about to just leave Noah either.
He leaned in close again. “Noah? Noah, baby, I need you to wake up for a minute, come on.” His boyfriend mumbled again, shaking his head. Luke couldn’t help but smile, scratch his scalp gently. “Come on, just for a minute, please?”
Slowly, slowly, those blue eyes dragged themselves halfway open. “Hmmm?” Noah turned himself this time, oh so slowly, until his whole body was facing Luke.
Luke knew that was the best he was going to get under the circumstances. “I have to run into work right now, okay? But I’ll be right back, and I want to make sure you don’t go anywhere until then.”
Noah’s eyes dropped closed again, and he rubbed his face into the pillow with a groan. “Don’t go anywhere,” he repeated, his voice muffled.
“I mean it, Noah,” Luke insisted, jostling his shoulder gently. “You and I need to talk. Really talk. As soon as possible. Will you be here when I get back?”
“Yeah,” he answered, drawing the word out slowly and tiredly. “…Be here.”
Luke wasn’t satisfied, shaking Noah’s shoulder again. “You promise?” Noah groaned a little and didn’t answer. Instead he clumsily held up one hand, pinky extended. Luke smiled again and linked his pinky around Noah’s. “Okay. I’ll be back before lunch.” He was about to get up, but last night’s fear got to him one more time. He pressed a kiss to the side of Noah’s face, the only part not mashed into the pillow. “I love you.”
As he stood up, the soft murmur from the bed that sounded a lot like “same here” was enough to keep him smiling all the way to the office.
************
Holden was more than a little surprised to see someone waiting for him in the kitchen when he got done with the morning chores. “Hey, didn’t think you got up this early on your days off.”
Jack grunted into his coffee cup. “Not by choice. Though what I wouldn’t kill for a day off that was actually relaxing and drama-free.”
Holden poured himself his own cup, sitting down across from his cousin. “Amen to that.”
Jack eyed him knowingly, the frown on his face from more than the early hour. “So you and Luke are still-”
“Not speaking and not seeing eye to eye on pretty much everything?” Holden finished for him. “Yeah, sounds about right.”
Jack shook his head. “On ‘pretty much everything’ or just Damian?” he prompted.
Holden found himself grimacing at the mention of that man, his hand unconsciously molding into a fist. God, he hated Damian. “It started with Damian, Jack, but now it’s Luke’s life. His future.” His voice got quieter. “He told me he was tired of being a Snyder, Jack.”
Jack’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch, but that was his only outward reaction. “Ouch,” he finally responded. Then his eyes narrowed again. “Let me guess, was this said during the heat of battle?”
“What?” Holden glared at the slightly amused tone to Jack’s voice.
Jack held up his hands peaceably. “Did he say that in the middle of an argument?” he clarified. “Because I know him, Holden. I know both of you. He was upset, you know he says stuff he doesn’t mean when he’s upset.” The added You both do was left unspoken, but it was there.
Holden wanted to agree, he really did, but then he thought of Luke’s words from yesterday. Walking out on Damian is walking out on me. While Holden thought he could handle Luke not going back to school, getting a job, keeping a secret from him… he just couldn’t handle Luke giving Damian that type of consideration, of making it seem like Holden had to choose either Luke with Damian or he couldn’t have Luke at all. After everything that man had done to them… “He was thinking clearly, Jack.”
His cousin shrugged. “Doesn’t mean he meant what he said. Both of you just need to calm down a bit, maybe work on, I don’t know, compromising?”
Holden’s anger intensified again. “I won’t compromise on Damian.” And just like that, all the anger rushed out of him, replaced by his real underlying emotion. Fear. “Every time. Every time that man has come to town, people have been hurt. Luke has been hurt. Luke’s nearly been killed because of him, and I don’t know if…” he sighed. “Jack, if he’s working with Damian now, it’s going to be that much harder to protect him when things get bad.”
Jack almost seemed to flinch at that, piquing Holden’s curiosity. “Between you and Lucinda- and Noah- I doubt Luke will be in as much danger as you think.”
Holden studied Jack a little closer even as he responded. “I just wish Luke was in on that.”
Jack tried to smile comfortingly. “Luke’s never going to give you up. Don’t give up on him either.” The smile faltered a little bit. “This family always sticks together when things get bad, you-”
“What’s going on?” Holden cut in, leaning forward just a little. Something was up, he could tell. “I know you too, Jack. What’s wrong?”
Jack sighed, staring down into his coffee. “I don’t-”
“Jack,” he persisted. “You’re up early on your day off. You’re offering me sage and rational advice. And you look like you’ve got an apocalypse weighing down on your shoulders. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I don’t know,” Jack answered, clenching his jaw. “I mean, I know something’s wrong, but I don’t know what it is. And considering who’s involved, it could be bad.”
“How bad?” Holden was frowning, wondering what family member was in trouble now. Who had Brad maybe pissed off now, or was it Parker's turn? Hell, maybe Ethan had joined a biker gang without him knowing...
Jack glanced up at Holden but couldn’t seem to hold his gaze. “Winston-Mayer-bad.”
Holden instantly had to swallow back the bitter taste in his mouth he always got when that name was mentioned. “Is Noah okay? Is he in trouble?”
His heartbeat stuttered when Jack couldn’t answer right away. “I don’t know,” he finally said again. “You know he’s been having panic attacks again, nightmares and stuff, right?” At Holden’s nod, “And there was something weird about Mayer when I went to visit him last week. I hadn’t been able to find anything out, so I called one of my old friends from the FBI to look into it.”
Holden felt his frown deepen. “Does Noah know you’ve been investigating him like this?”
“No,” Jack admitted, rubbing at the back of his neck. “And don’t think that’s not eating at me. But see, my buddy calls me back and says he had trouble finding paperwork on Mayer during the time in question. There was something ‘missing’ or ‘off’ about their files.”
“That sounds reassuring,” Holden’s mug was empty, and part of him wanted to refill it with liquor. And it was only 9am.
His cousin didn’t look much better. “Exactly my thoughts. And then yesterday…” he paused, clearing his throat. “Yesterday, Noah was at the pond. He looked completely wrecked, Holden. He didn’t say a word the whole time. I don’t think he could’ve if he wanted to.”
Holden sat back in his chair, puzzling it over. “Whatever it was, it must’ve just happened or Luke would have said something at lunch. Do you think Noah found out whatever this mystery with the Colonel is?”
Jack gave an incredulous, almost angry laugh. “Maybe. Or it could be something else entirely. Hell, Mayer could’ve tried to contact him, threaten him, or-” he shook his head, focusing back on Holden. “Fix things with Luke. You love him, he loves you. Things really can be that simple sometimes.”
He got up to rinse out his coffee mug, and Holden watched him silently. He wished he could agree with Jack, but nothing was ever simple when Damian was involved. Damian was toxic and dangerous, and with the way things were going Holden was afraid that he was about to lose Luke for good.
************
Sometimes a cappuccino really was the best medicine. Marcus took another sip of drink, reveling in the taste and the calmness it brought with it. The last twenty-four hours had been… dramatic, to say the least. Well, life was always dramatic when you were dating Lucinda Walsh, he had to guess.
He had honestly been a little afraid for his life when she had stormed into his office yesterday afternoon, even thought she hadn’t even been angry at him (yet). But he had reacted too calmly to the revelation that Luke had been lying and working for his biological father, and Lucinda was too shrewd not to pick up on that. But, luckily, her love for Noah (and hopefully her love for him) was enough to take the thunder out of her stormcloud and see reason.
Marcus couldn’t help but marvel at that family’s ability to not stay out of trouble. As he took another sip, eyes closing to really enjoy the taste, the voice of the young man (Jeff, wasn’t it? Noah’s friend) behind the counter caught his attention. “Hey Noah!”
He turned quickly in his chair to see his patient enter Java, his whole body radiating what could only be described as pure weariness. “Jeff. One coffee, one caramel latte to go?”
Jeff didn’t seem to hear him, giving him a concerned look over. “You okay, man?”
The side of Noah’s mouth lifted upwards, but it was in no way a smile. “Yeah, just one of those days. One coffee, one caramel latte, please?”
“Coming right up.” The kid obviously believed Noah just about as much as Marcus did, but he kept his mouth shut and went to work on his order.
Marcus couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “Noah,” he called softly. He watched as Noah jumped slightly and turned to look at him, a nervous and… was that guilty?... expression flashing across his face. Marcus ignored it, smiling and waving the young man over.
Noah approached cautiously. “Dr. Weston. I-I’m sorry, I can’t sit. I’m just here to get coffee for Luke, and I have to be back at the apartment before he gets back, and I can’t-”
Marcus waved away the nervous rambling. And since when does Noah ramble? “It’s okay, I just wanted to say hi. Alice said you stopped by the office yesterday-” there was that flash of guilt again- “so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Oh,” Noah’s voice took on that slightly higher-pitched tone he got when he was trying to be casual and failing miserably. “It’s fine. I’m- it’s okay. I was, I just needed to…” He paused, took another steadying breath. “I was going to ask you something, but it’s no big deal. It can wait till Thursday.”
“Are you sure?” Marcus knew things weren’t okay. He was more surprised that Noah would think he couldn’t see through this façade. “You can tell me anything.”
“No. It’s fine,” he responded quietly, gritting his teeth a little, trying to keep control.
Marcus should have stopped right there. If he’s learned anything in the months he’s counseled Noah, it’s that he doesn’t respond well to being pushed. But maybe Marcus was still reeling from yesterday’s conversation, or maybe he was thrown by Noah’s haggard appearance now. Either way, he couldn’t stop himself from pressing the issue. “Why don’t you sit down for a bit…”
Noah stiffened, taking a small step back. “I told you, I can’t. I promised Luke I’d be there when he got home.”
Marcus sat forward, cappuccino completely forgotten. “Noah-”
He reached up, rubbing the back of his neck. “It can wait until Thursday, it’s okay,” he insisted.
Shaking his head, Marcus kept at it, voice growing stern. “No, no, I don’t believe you. Something’s up. Noah, I want you to-”
“No!” Noah snapped, his voice intense but quiet. It nearly rocked Marcus back in his chair. “No, I said everything was fine. We’re not in a session, you can’t tell me what to do!”
“Noah…” Marcus wasn’t sure who was more surprised by the outburst- him, Noah, or poor Jeff who was trying to interrupt, two carryout cups in his hands. “Your order’s up, man.”
Marcus stood up, suddenly a little desperate. A little afraid to let Noah out of his sight. “Noah.” His heart dropped down below the floor when Noah flinched away from him. Is he scared of me? Noah was looking back and forth between Marcus and Jeff, unsure what to do. Finally he grabbed the cups out of Jeff’s hands with a muttered thanks and rushed out the door.
“Dr. Weston?” Jeff was still staring out after Noah, brow furrowed.
Marcus turned to the young man. For the first time in a long time, a very long time, he had no idea what to do. Though he was pretty sure he was going to spend most of the day and night replaying this in his head and kicking himself repeatedly. Why did he have to push? “Yes?”
Jeff finally turned to look at him, eyes serious. “I think maybe you better call Luke.”
************
Emily positioned herself back at her desk, trying to impose as much grandness in her posture as the woman in front of her so effortlessly exuded. “Here it is.”
Lucinda eyed the stack of papers and photos in front of her. “Here what is?”
Emily smirked. “Your next and greatest headline. You’re welcome.”
Huffing out a short laugh, Lucinda picked up the papers and slid her glasses on. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t thank you so quickly, Emily. Now hold on, let me…” she read through the articles and files, glancing at the photos. Emily gave her a few minutes, biting her tongue. Finally Lucinda looked up at her over the rim of her glasses. “And how is this, this Andrew Miller, my greatest headline?” she asked, tone doubtful.
Emily’s smirk widened into a self-satisfied smile. “Because he was never found.”
Lucinda sighed, knowing she was being lead on. “And?”
“And I found him,” Emily made sure to shrug oh-so-casually. “Here. In Oakdale.”
Lucinda couldn’t stop her eyes from widening in shock and, she had to admit, interest. “Alright. I’m listening.”
“The man who kidnapped him raised Andrew as his own. He grew up, graduated high school, got into college. He had no idea his whole life was a lie.”
Lucinda laughed again. “If this is true, then Andrew is now…” she glanced down at the papers again, checking dates. “What, twenty-one years old? He would still be in college.”
Emily nodded, her smile widening even further into a grin. “Yes, he is. Set to graduate from OU this May.”
“Oh, so you know this young man?” Lucinda asked, eyes narrowing. “Please tell me he isn’t another of your dalliances with the twenty-something sect of this town.”
Irritation swept through Emily. Really, you sleep with one (consenting!) younger man, and you never live it down. “No, I haven’t slept with him. Not sure I’m really his type, if you get my drift.”
Lucinda looked startled for a moment before understanding flashed across her face. “But you know who he is, obviously.”
And the grin was back. “Yes, I do. He’s dating your grandson.”
There was barely a hesitation, and then Lucinda’s laugh was much more incredulous this time. “My dear, I have no idea what your game is but-”
This time Emily didn’t smile. “Lucinda. This isn’t a game.” She slid over the picture she had made, a photo of Andrew Miller and a photo of Noah Mayer side by side. “This is honest-to-God real.”
“Noah?” Lucinda’s voice was so quiet, so shocked, Emily wasn’t sure if she had imagined it completely. She pretended not to see when Lucinda sadly traced Noah’s photo with her finger. Lucinda snatched her hand back from the picture as though it had burned her. “No. No, no, no. This isn’t… No, Emily. Noah is Noah.”
“Lucinda, do you think I would just make this up?” Emily asked. Off Lucinda’s look, “Yeah, okay, fair enough. But I’m not this time. I’ve traced it all through and the timeline makes sense, even the Mayer family being in Georgia when the kidnapping happened. And then yesterday when Noah was here, I-”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Lucinda was now inadvertently clutching the papers close to her. “Noah was here? He knows about all of this?”
Emily huffed. “Yeah, he was talking to Hunter about it. It was thanks to him that I discovered his real name.” Okay, so she wasn’t sure if Noah knew everything, but what did that really matter?
She was shocked when Lucinda rose quickly to her feet. “His real name is Noah,” she snapped.
Emily shook her head calmly. “No, Lucinda, it’s not. And why he’d want to keep that a secret, you’d have to ask him. I just think-”
“So I assume you have proof for all this? A confession from Colonel Mayer? A DNA test?” Lucinda was in stormcloud mode again.
And for the first time, Emily didn’t feel in control. “No. No, not yet. But if I run the story, don’t you think that will get the ball rolling?”
Lucinda glared. “‘Get the ball rolling?’” she quoted huffily. “You want to subject my family to the insanity that will definitely ensue, just to get the ball rolling?” Another laugh that wasn’t a laugh. “Oh no, Ms. Stewart. I will not let you ruffle a feather or hurt that boy in any way until there is some solid proof.” She started moving towards the door, still holding the Andrew Miller papers.
Emily let her go. “Lucinda. You can delay this all you want, but the story’s still true. Your Noah Mayer isn’t who he says he is. And the truth will come out, one way or another.”
Lucinda left her with one final, admittedly intimidating, glare. “And until I say otherwise, that truth will not be coming out of you or the Intruder. Deal with it.” And then she was gone.
Emily wasn’t too upset. She was only missing out on her national headline for a little while. She knew Lucinda Walsh, and she knew this wasn’t something Lucinda Walsh was going to let go of. She’d be getting her proof, one way or another. Mission accomplished.
************
The fog was slowly melting away. Noah was trying to cling to it with everything he had, but it kept slipping through his fingers. Pretty soon, he was going to have to come out of his protective shell. Pretty soon… he was going to have to admit the truth.
It was already starting, he was already panicking. God, he had pitched a fit in Java. In public. He didn’t know if he could ever face Marcus again, let alone go to a session on Thursday. He wasn’t even really sure if he could show his face in Java again.
He racked his brain trying to come up with some way to tell all this to Luke. How do you put this into words? How do you tell someone you’re… you’re not the person he thought he was in love with.
For a second Noah thought he was going to be sick, but a few deep breaths kept him in place. His head was pounding and his hands were shaking, and it wasn’t just from the aftereffects of the sleeping pills. No, he was just barely holding it together. He was just barely not falling apart.
He was sitting on the couch with the two Java cups on the coffee table in front of him, pretending to watch a rerun of The Daily Show, when he suddenly sensed a presence sitting down next to him. He flinched a little when a hand rested against his forehead. He hadn’t even heard him come home.
“Noah?” Luke’s voice was quiet, soothing. And for a second, it helped keep Noah’s panic at bay, pouring water on the fire. Unfortunately the issues in his brain were a giant forest fire at this point, and there wasn’t enough water in the world.
Noah turned to look at his boyfriend, pulling a little more strength from the look of loving concern in his eyes. It wasn’t enough for Noah to tell Luke everything, but it was enough strength to get him to say something. “I got you a latte,” he whispered.
Luke smiled a little, looking mock stern. “I thought you pinky-swore to stay here.”
His hand was still against Noah’s forehead. Noah felt himself closing his eyes and leaning into the touch, afraid it would be taken away at any second. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, hey, Noah. It’s okay, I’m just teasing,” Luke’s voice got even softer. He moved in closer. “Please, will you tell me what’s wrong? Whatever it is, we can handle it.”
And Noah couldn’t handle that. How could Luke possibly think this was something they could deal with? “I can’t… whoa.” He tried to stand up and start pacing, but he only got as far as standing before he started to shake again.
“Noah!” Luke was next to him in an instant, hands going to his arms like he was going to try to hold him upright. But it didn’t seem to work, because Noah’s strength was already giving out, and he sunk to the floor in front of the couch, bringing his legs up by habit, wrapping his arms around them. He rested his forehead on his knees, trying to hide. Luke dropped down to kneel in front of him, hands still on his arms. “Noah, please. What’s going on?”
“I yelled at Dr. Weston,” he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut tight to ward off any tears. He wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready to tell yet.
Scared as he was, Luke couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “I don’t think it was actually yelling, but…” Noah looked up timidly, confused, so Luke smiled, reaching out to wipe at the moisture next to his eyes. “Dr. Weston called me like twenty minutes ago. He told me what happened.” When Noah ducked his head back down, face flushing, Luke pulled him back up. “He was really worried, babe. He’s not upset with you.”
Noah stared at him, searching Luke’s face for any hint of coddling, but there was none. “He’s not mad?”
“No, no, of course he isn’t,” Luke rubbed one hand up and down his arm soothingly. “And neither am I. Just tell me what’s going on, please!” His tone was getting desperate, and Noah hated hearing him that way.
“Luke…” his voice broke on the one word, and he had to clear his throat to speak again. “Luke. My dream wasn’t a dream.”
“What?” Luke’s brow furrowed, and he settled down more comfortably on his knees, one hand on Noah’s leg. He realized he was unable to break contact completely (or at all). “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t know why I never figured it out before,” he was about to start rambling, he knew it. “All those times he punished me for not being the son he wanted, all those expectations I could never live up to, the reason Charlene left without me, why he never let me have friends, it all makes sense now, doesn’t it?”
“Um,” Luke tried to keep his voice light, even as his face grew more and more concerned. “I think I missed something, because this all seems to be making a sense that’s… not. Noah, can you tell me what’s hurting you?”
“I…” his voice dropped down to a whisper. Maybe Luke and the world wouldn’t hear him this way. Maybe he wouldn’t hear it. “I don’t think Noah is my real name. I don’t think I’m really Winston Mayer’s son.”
There were a few seconds of silence while Luke tried to figure out what all that meant. In that time Noah looked everywhere but at him, halfway hoping Luke hadn’t heard him. But he was pretty sure Luke did, because now he was letting go of Noah’s shoulders, pulling back. Noah hid his face again, not wanting Luke to see the cringe or fear he was feeling.
But then there were hands holding his elbows as though he was about to pull Noah’s arms away. Luke finally opened his mouth to say something, and would have said something, but right at that moment the front door burst open.
************
Casey was pretty much a one man mission at this point. He felt like that guy in the scene from Airplane! (the movie they watched at the last Movie Night) who walked in a straight line, punching anyone who got in his way, never breaking stride. Casey definitely felt like doing that now.
A hundred thoughts and worries were crashing through his brain, and the only thing he could get himself to do was head straight to Luke and Noah’s apartment.
He didn’t even realize he was there until he found himself at their front door. Knocking didn’t occur to him, so instead he used the spare key they gave him months ago, shoving it into the lock with his free hand and barging in like he owned the place. And then he stopped short.
Noah was sitting on the floor, his back to the sofa, forehead resting on his drawn-up knees. Luke was kneeling in front of him, hands grasping Noah’s elbows. He looked up, startled at Casey’s entrance. “Case?” Luke looked about as dazed as a person could look. Noah didn’t even look up at all.
Casey stepped closer, suddenly hesitant. All that time he had spent pacing in Old Town, all the time it had taken to get over here, he hadn’t thought to come up with what he was going to say. “Um, Hunter. Hunter called me, completely freaked. He… Noah?” He waited until Noah finally looked up at him, eyes wary and exhausted. “Noah, he figured it all out. Didn’t know what to do, so he told me everything. He thought I should know.” He came even closer, standing next to them now. “He thought I could help or something.”
“Should know what?” Luke spoke up, not letting go of Noah. “Figured what out? What does everyone seem to know except me?”
Casey opened his mouth, but Noah’s quiet voice spoke up first. “My dream wasn’t a dream. It was a memory.”
“You and those kids and your mother?” Luke asked. Even as Noah nodded, Luke’s eyes widened. “And the Colonel? In your dre- your memory, he grabbed you, pulled you into a car…” He sat back a little, confused. “I don’t understand. He kidnapped you as a kid? He took you away from Charlene?”
“No,” Noah’s voice was pained and heavy, like he was weighed down by the entire world. Casey took a seat on the floor next to him, close but not touching. “No, Luke. The woman in that memory wasn’t Charlene. It was my real mother. Those kids were my brother and sister.” He tried to breathe deeply, and mostly succeeded. “I was someone else, and the Colonel took me away from them.”
“What?” Luke was either not understanding, or not letting himself understand. Silently, Casey handed over what he’d been holding the whole time. It was all the articles and research Hunter had done on Andrew Miller.
Luke took them, handling the pile like it was a bomb about to go off. While he read through everything, Casey gingerly reached out and rested an arm around Noah’s shoulders. Noah bowed his head again, breathing heavily against his knees.
“That’s everything,” Casey confirmed quietly when Luke was done, looking up like the floor had just dropped out from under him. “I came over as soon as I could.”
Luke looked down at a photo of Andrew Miller, then back up at his boyfriend. Who had yet to move or make eye contact with anyone. Luke let out a breath sharply and then nearly threw himself forward, arms going tight around Noah. “Oh God, Noah. Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He tightened his grip when Noah made no move to return the embrace. Casey kept his arm where it was too. Luke, of course, kept talking. “I mean it though, love. We’ll figure this out. It’s going to be okay, okay? We’ll figure all this out.”
“Of course we will,” Casey chimed in, getting worried when Noah still didn’t acknowledge them. Of course, he wasn’t sure what he expected Noah to do. It’s not like there was a normal way to react in this situation. This was crazy. When Hunter had explained everything to him, Casey had been sure it was an elaborate prank. Payback for when he had put Lifesavers in Hunter’s showerhead that one time. But when the truth had finally sunk in… it was the first time in a long time that Casey had been rendered speechless.
He looked over at Luke helplessly, but Luke was busy studying Noah. And then, suddenly, a flash of understanding lit up his eyes. “Noah,” Luke said quieter. “This changes things, I know, but it doesn’t change you, got it? It doesn’t change who you are or how we feel about you.”
Noah shuddered under the weight of their arms, leaning more into Luke. “I just…” he began hoarsely. “I just don’t want it to be real.”
Luke kissed his forehead. “I know you don’t. And there’s a chance it isn’t real. But no matter what, you’re not dealing with this alone, you understand me?”
There was something resembling a laugh. “I’m good and stuck with you?” Noah quoted the oft-repeated phrase Luke always used to convince Noah that he was a part of the family.
Luke’s laugh was just as forced. “You know it, babe.” He had almost said ‘Mayer’ instead of ‘babe,’ but changed his mind at the last second. He probably shouldn’t use Noah’s last name right now. Is that even his last name now? He really felt like bawling till there were no tears left in his body, but he couldn’t do that until he was sure Noah was okay. (And how was Noah not bawling till there were no tears left in his body?) “Tell me how you’re feeling.”
“Really worried and a little freaked out,” Casey answered automatically. When Luke turned to stare at him, he widened his eyes. “Oh, you weren’t talking to me?”
Luke was about to snap at him when Noah let out a weak, but genuine, laugh. Luke softened and caught Casey’s wink before turning back to his boyfriend, kissing his forehead again and running a hand through his hair. The basics of Noah Comforting 101. “Come on, Noah. What are you feeling right now?”
Noah finally raised his head to look at both of them, and both of them tightened their grips on him because of it. He looked lost, younger than he was, and so scared. “I don’t know. I can’t figure it out. Yesterday I found out my… my entire life might be a lie. And I’ve been walking around in this fog, wanting to deny it all.”
“I don’t think you can do that anymore, dude,” Casey said quietly. “I’m sorry, really sorry, but I think you’re past that point now.”
“I know,” Noah replied softly. He leaned his head forward until it rested against Luke’s. “But I don’t want to be. I need to… to sort through it all in my head. Figure out what I feel and what I want to do.”
Luke and Casey exchanged glances again before Luke turned back to Noah. “Sure, babe, whatever you need to do. Except for, you know, the whole ‘all in my head’ part. Because that’s not going to happen.”
Noah looked up again, hurt. “What?”
Luke rushed to explain. “It can’t stay in your head. You’ve got me, you’ve got Casey, and you’ve got a bunch of other people who love you and will want to help. I don’t think you’ll be able to fight us all off. We’re kinda relentless like that.”
Noah shuddered again, but it might have been part chuckle this time. “I know, and I love you for that, but just for right now, can’t we…?”
Casey jumped in without meaning to; he just couldn’t stop himself. “Yeah, it’s fine, man. This is a crazy thing to get dumped on your head. We can keep this quiet for a little while, just till you get your bearings.”
Luke nodded, his fingers still trailing gently through Noah’s hair. “Of course, of course. It’s up to you, what you want to do. And hey, I’m a Snyder. I totally understand wanting to keep away from fuss for as long as possible.” And then, just like that, even as Casey was mentally kicking Luke in the face for possibly jinxing them with those words, the front door was flung wide open.
************
Luke wanted to kick himself in the face. He totally jinxed them, didn’t he? Because he’d barely finished those words when the door burst open. Again. And this time it wasn’t someone awesome like Casey. It was someone terrifying. Someones, actually, like his parents and grandmother. Instinctively, Luke rose to his feet, keeping a hand on Noah’s shoulder. Casey jumped up so he was now sitting on the couch, but made sure he was still sitting between Noah and everyone else.
“Mom? Dad? Grandmother, what are you…?” Luke looked back and forth between their faces, and knew something was up. He glanced back down at Noah, who looked just as startled and confused as he did. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to-”
“We know, Luke.” Lily’s voice cut in, brittle and barely controlled. “We know everything. When were you planning on telling us?” The question wasn’t, surprisingly, directed at Luke. She was looking at Noah.
Once again he and Casey exchanged glances, this time much more frantic. Oh crap. “Mom, why don’t we all sit down and-”
“No, darling, I think we’re fine right here. Why don’t you explain to us why, yet again, you’re keeping secrets from us,” Lucinda raised an eyebrow, studying the three of them.
Luke kept his hand firmly on Noah’s shoulder and felt him flinch at Lucinda’s tone which, almost against his will, caused Luke to grow defensive. He glared right back at his parents. “We’re not keeping secrets! What the hell is going on?”
“Hey, watch the attitude,” Holden warned, more out of instinct than anything else.
And all of the anger he was feeling at his father came rushing to the front of Luke’s brain. “Excuse me, you’re the ones who barged in here and started accusing us! You can’t just-”
“Luke, stop! Just stop!” Lily cut in again, her voice still wavering. She walked over to them, coming to a stop right in front of Noah. She crouched down in front of him, pulling his arms away so she could look him in the eyes. “Noah.” She put a hand to his cheek, holding his face up steady. “Why didn’t you tell us, sweetie? I thought…” she took a second to collect herself. “You told me I could trust you. And that you could trust me. Did you mean that?”
Noah’s completely crestfallen face, and his inability to talk, spurred Luke forward again. “Mom, back off a little bit! We’re not keeping secrets, we just found out about all of this.”
“Really? You ‘just’ found out?” Lucinda’s hands flailed in the air. “Noah? Did you ‘just’ find out about this today?”
Ever truthful, Noah shook his head. Before Luke could jump in to explain, before Lucinda could pounce on his answer, Holden spoke up again. “Why don’t we all take a step back for a second?” His voice was soft, but it carried throughout the room. All of them relaxed a bit, and for that Luke almost could have kissed his dad. Lily stood up and moved to stand next to him, and Noah shakily got off the floor to join Casey on the couch, Luke following. “Noah, when did you find out?”
Luke crept closer, letting go of Noah’s shoulder so he could grab his hand instead. He knew Noah was hating this- there were too many people in the room, too many people focused on him. Part of Luke may have been holding on tightly to make sure Noah didn’t bolt. Noah breathed in and out a few times before he could speak. “Yesterday.” His voice was still too unsteady for Luke’s liking.
That pretty much took the wind out of everyone’s sails. “Yesterday?” Lucinda repeated. “But…”
“What’s going on, how did you guys find out?” Luke still couldn’t wrap his head around this. “Why do you think it’s this big giant secret we’ve been keeping?” Holden didn’t say anything, but the twitch of his brow almost, almost, started Luke in on another tantrum. But instead he kept a firm grip on Noah’s hand and focused on his grandmother.
Lucinda was shaking her head. “Emily Stewart said-”
“Oh, God I should have known she’d find a way to ruin this,” Casey groaned, burying his head in his hands. He pulled it back up just long enough to say “No offense, Ms. Walsh,” before his head dropped back down.
It was the first time in a very long time (maybe ever) that Luke could remember seeing Lucinda Walsh blush. “Oh good Lord,” she muttered before looking back at the three boys. “Darlings, I’m so sorry. I should have never listened to that… that…” she calmed herself back down. “Noah, truly, I am sorry.”
Noah nodded, his head down again. Luke really wanted to get everyone else out of this room and talk to Noah alone. Noah needed some peace and quiet right now, not a Snyder Smotherfest. But he didn’t stop Lily from stepping forward again and resting her hand on Noah’s knee. Noah looked up slowly to meet her gaze. After a moment Noah offered her a small, forgiving smile and Lily nodded and smiled back before going back to Holden.
But Luke had to ask. “All it took was Emily Stewart and you were ready to-”
“It wasn’t just that,” Holden said, sounding much more gentle now that he could see how upset Noah was. “Jack’s been looking into it for awhile, trying to find records or files or something, and he said he saw you at the pond yesterday, Noah, and-”
“Jack was researching me?” Noah asked, his voice small and disbelieving. Luke winced. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Holden wince too. “He didn’t tell me.”
“I don’t think he knew he was doing anything until yesterday, son,” Holden rushed to explain. Noah didn’t respond, and Luke was trying to figure out a way to sneak the two of them out of this room without anyone noticing when his dad spoke again. “Now, we need to figure out what the next step is from here.”
Casey’s eyes widened comically, and Luke would have laughed if he wasn’t just as surprised and, frankly, incredibly furious again. “The next step is you guys go home. Noah needs some time to deal with all of this, don’t you think? Give him some breathing room, maybe?”
Lily clearly didn’t want that to be the next step. “Will you two,” she glanced at Casey, “or three, be okay? Noah, do you want us to stay?”
Noah swallowed hard, seeming to shrink under all their gazes. “I think I need some time first,” he said more to his shoes than anyone in the room.
Lily nodded even though Noah couldn’t see her. “Honey, have you thought about whether or not you want to contact this family?”
“Mom!” Luke snapped. He couldn’t believe she couldn’t wait another day for this.
“Lily.” Holden’s admonishment was quieter but no less serious. “Now’s not the time.”
Noah still had a death grip on Luke’s hand. He turned to him, ignoring his parents for the moment. “Hey, it’s okay,” he spoke quietly, putting his other hand on top of their clasped ones. “Don’t even think that far ahead yet. Don’t think about anyone else. Think about yourself.”
“I’m not even sure if I can tie my shoes right now,” Noah murmured.
Luke laughed, somewhat in relief. That was the most spark he’d seen out of Noah all day. “Well, whatever you do, don’t even pretend you’re going to do any of this without me. I mean it, babe. I’ll call Damian tomorrow, I’m not going to New York.”
Noah looked at him, eyes sad. “But you wanted to go.”
“And I want to be with you even more,” Luke shot back.
He shook his head. “I can’t ask you to-”
“What’s in New York?” Holden was standing next to them. When had Holden gotten so close?
“What?” Luke asked dumbly. Oh, there’s no way this was going to end well…
“New York?” Holden prompted, staying on just this side of control.
Luke closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then reopened them. “Damian asked me to go on a business trip with him to New York and I was going to say yes but now I’m saying no so I can stay with Noah.” Oh yeah, all in one breath.
“And when were you going to tell us, on your way to the airport?” Holden wasn’t as impressed with the whole ‘all in one breath.’
And there went his hackles rising once again. “Really don’t think that’s what’s important right now!” he tried to remain civil, but somehow found himself standing face to face with his dad.
“Luke, I know, I’m sorry, it’s just… why do you think we assumed this had been kept a secret? When are you going to start trusting us?”
“Holden,” and now it was Lily’s turn to try to admonish her husband.
“When are you going to stop assuming that everything I do is a personal insult against you?” Luke couldn’t stop. Somewhere in the corner of his mind he noticed Noah and Casey getting off the couch, Noah backing up until he was against the far wall, out of the way.
Lucinda turned to him. “Noah, I’m going to get my private investigators to look into this, maybe-”
Noah shook his head, arms wrapped around himself. “Please, I- I can’t-”
“Luke, calm down,” Lily tried to soothe before turning to Lucinda. “Mother, maybe they can check out the family, make sure…”
“Um, hey…” Casey tried to cut in, but it was no use.
“You can’t do this,” Luke protested, anger still directed at his dad. “You can’t come into our home and demand all these things and then accuse me, us, of… of… You have no right!”
“No right? You’re our son! Not his!” Holden’s voice was starting to rise now.
“Okay,” Casey was starting to bounce on his toes a little. “Maybe we should-”
“And of course, it comes right back to the Big Bad Evil that is Damian, right? Because that’s what this is all about!” Luke threw his hands in the air in pure frustration.
“Did he want you to keep this New York thing from us?” Holden kept with it.
“God, Dad, maybe it had nothing to do with you, did you ever think about that?” Okay, Luke may have been shouting now.
“Alright, that’s it!” Casey was definitely shouting. “You know what, it has nothing to do with either of you! Not right now, not tonight!” He got in between Luke and Holden and shoved Luke back gently. Luke was about to snap at him, but Casey’s glare stopped him. “Tonight? I think it would be best if we all calmed down and focused on how we can help Noah. Don’t you agree?”
Luke deflated in about two milliseconds and felt like kicking himself in the face again. He turned to where Noah was standing. “Noah…” Well, where Noah was standing. Because Noah wasn’t standing there anymore. Noah wasn’t in the living room.
“Noah?” Lily called out, looking around frantically, and then Luke knew. He just knew. Noah wasn’t in the apartment.
“Oh, damn it!” Luke threw himself out of the living room and down the short hallway to the front door. He made it outside, his family and Casey right behind him, in just enough time to see Noah’s truck pull out of the parking lot and disappear down the street. Noah was gone.
TO BE CONTINUED! Coming Up: Casey takes out his frustration on the right person, Lily tries to put her family back together (again), Luke wrestles with the duties of his job, Noah comes up with a plan (spoiler: you're not going to like it!)
Chapter: 6/16 - Crashing Down, Down, Down On Me
Author: carolinablu85. or you can call me Ella! (or you can call me Al, if you like the song...)
Characters: Luke/Noah, Hunter, Holden, Jack, Marcus (OC), Emily, Lucinda, Casey, Lily
Rating: PG
Spoilers: sequel to my fic "Sins of the Father," refers to lots of things that happened in that story, takes place a few months later!
Summary: Noah's secret unravels. And so do several people.
Disclaimer: I disclaim. I own a pair of sneakers, a cellphone, and some other stuff. The show? Nope, not that.
Author's Note: This chapter's title is brought to you by the song "Waiting For My Real Life To Begin" by Colin Hay! Beautiful song!
Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 /
Hunter had never been in a situation like this before. Ever. A friend may be in trouble, and he just didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Mostly because he’d never really had friends to worry about before. All of this was way out of his area of expertise. Computers? Yes. History, science? Sure. Even cooking, fine (as long as he didn’t break any eggs). But having to tell your friend that he may have been kidnapped as a two-year-old? There was no manual for that.
He stared again at the pictures he had printed out of Andrew Miller and slowly held them up next to the picture on his desk of the ‘Movie Night gang,’ as he called them. It was probably his favorite picture he’d ever owned, definitely his favorite picture that he himself was in.
He was standing behind the couch next to Casey, who had an arm around Hunter’s shoulders while his other was outstretched, making bunny ears behind Alison’s head. She was sitting on the couch next to Noah, Jade on his other side leaning her head down on his shoulder. Noah was grinning wide, his arms wrapped tightly around Luke who had just plopped himself down in Noah’s lap.
Hunter sighed and looked back and forth between Andrew and Noah. This was. Just. Insane. And definitely a conundrum.
Though he didn’t know what he should do, he knew what he shouldn’t. There was no way he was going to talk to Emily about this. Hunter was pretty sure he had some sort of feeling of affection towards his biological mother, but he wasn’t that dense. Emily would make a mess of this situation, would use it for her own good. And while Hunter was new to the whole ‘friend’ thing, he knew better than to subject Noah to that.
But then what now? Man, life was so much easier when he only had himself to worry about. Now here he was worried about Noah’s feelings, how Noah would react, how this would affect Noah and Luke and their family… He didn’t want anything to happen to them. But what could he do?
Hunter ran a hand through his hair haphazardly. This was way out of his league! He was Research and Technology Guy, not Protective and Comforting Guy-
…Wait. Wait. That was it!
Hunter gathered all the papers and photos he had printed out, shoving them into a messy pile even as he reached for his phone with his other hand. He hit a speed dial (number four) and anxiously waited for an answer, picking up the pile of papers and stumbling towards the door. When the line picked up, he didn’t even wait for the other person to answer. “Hi, it’s me. Hunter. It’s Hunter. Something might be, uh, happening. Something bad. And I think you need to help.”
************
The annoying trill of a cell phone was definitely not the first sound Luke wanted to hear upon waking up. He grumbled, keeping one arm wrapped around the body next to him as the other arm flailed around for the offending object. He cracked one eye open to confirm that it was too damn early- 7:22 am. Too damn early- and then flipped open the phone. “It’s Sunday morning,” he said in way of greeting.
“I know, Luke, God I’m so sorry,” the voice on the other end replied somewhat timidly. “But you told me to call if-”
“Stacey?” Luke sat up with a yawn, the arm wrapped around Noah sliding up to rest on his boyfriend’s shoulder, rubbing it absentmindedly.
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry,” his Grimaldi Shipping assistant said again.
Luke shook his head a little to clear it, letting out another yawn. “No, it’s okay, what’s wrong?” There’s no way she would call unless it was important. Even if it was too damn early.
“You told me to call you if I ran into any more discrepancies in expense reports?” she somehow made that into a question. “And I did. Find more discrepancies, I mean.”
“The same as last time?” Luke frowned, the time now forgotten, twisting to sit on the edge of the bed. He tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder so he could use both hands to change out of sweatpants and into jeans.
“The same. Same amount, same place on the reports, everything. But there’s no money missing from any account that I can find… it’s just weird, Luke.” Stacey cleared her throat. “Also, I came across some paperwork that someone forgot to fill out again…”
Luke groaned. “Oh crap, the Agathon merger. I completely forgot. When do those contracts need to be faxed out?”
He could hear the smile in her voice. “By noon today. I’m sorry to drag you in here on a Sunday, but-”
“No, no, I’ll be there in a bit. Give me a couple minutes to get the 7:30am out of my system and I’ll be on my way,” he rubbed at his eyes again.
“Okay, I’ll see you soon. Sorry about the early call again, and apologize to Noah for me if I woke him up,” Stacey said, again with an obvious smile, before hanging up.
Luke couldn’t help but smile a little bit too, pulling a shirt on over his head before turning and leaning back towards the center of the bed, where Noah was still sleeping soundly. “Noah?” he dropped a kiss onto Noah’s shoulder, but his boyfriend didn’t stir.
And then Luke felt like smacking himself in the face. Of course Noah wasn’t waking up. He was drugged out on two prescription-grade sleeping pills. All the worry from last night rushed back into him, and Luke had to take a second to gather himself. Noah would probably be out for a couple more hours, Luke knew he’d have enough time to run to work and back, but… a huge, ginormous, elephant-sized part of Luke was hating himself for even thinking of leaving Noah at all before he got to the bottom of all this.
With a sigh, he reached out and gently pulled on Noah’s shoulder, turning him onto his back. Noah mumbled softly, face now pointed in Luke’s direction. Luke let his hand run gently up from shoulder to face to the top of his head, resting his fingers in Noah’s hair. He had to run into work, but he wasn’t about to just leave Noah either.
He leaned in close again. “Noah? Noah, baby, I need you to wake up for a minute, come on.” His boyfriend mumbled again, shaking his head. Luke couldn’t help but smile, scratch his scalp gently. “Come on, just for a minute, please?”
Slowly, slowly, those blue eyes dragged themselves halfway open. “Hmmm?” Noah turned himself this time, oh so slowly, until his whole body was facing Luke.
Luke knew that was the best he was going to get under the circumstances. “I have to run into work right now, okay? But I’ll be right back, and I want to make sure you don’t go anywhere until then.”
Noah’s eyes dropped closed again, and he rubbed his face into the pillow with a groan. “Don’t go anywhere,” he repeated, his voice muffled.
“I mean it, Noah,” Luke insisted, jostling his shoulder gently. “You and I need to talk. Really talk. As soon as possible. Will you be here when I get back?”
“Yeah,” he answered, drawing the word out slowly and tiredly. “…Be here.”
Luke wasn’t satisfied, shaking Noah’s shoulder again. “You promise?” Noah groaned a little and didn’t answer. Instead he clumsily held up one hand, pinky extended. Luke smiled again and linked his pinky around Noah’s. “Okay. I’ll be back before lunch.” He was about to get up, but last night’s fear got to him one more time. He pressed a kiss to the side of Noah’s face, the only part not mashed into the pillow. “I love you.”
As he stood up, the soft murmur from the bed that sounded a lot like “same here” was enough to keep him smiling all the way to the office.
************
Holden was more than a little surprised to see someone waiting for him in the kitchen when he got done with the morning chores. “Hey, didn’t think you got up this early on your days off.”
Jack grunted into his coffee cup. “Not by choice. Though what I wouldn’t kill for a day off that was actually relaxing and drama-free.”
Holden poured himself his own cup, sitting down across from his cousin. “Amen to that.”
Jack eyed him knowingly, the frown on his face from more than the early hour. “So you and Luke are still-”
“Not speaking and not seeing eye to eye on pretty much everything?” Holden finished for him. “Yeah, sounds about right.”
Jack shook his head. “On ‘pretty much everything’ or just Damian?” he prompted.
Holden found himself grimacing at the mention of that man, his hand unconsciously molding into a fist. God, he hated Damian. “It started with Damian, Jack, but now it’s Luke’s life. His future.” His voice got quieter. “He told me he was tired of being a Snyder, Jack.”
Jack’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch, but that was his only outward reaction. “Ouch,” he finally responded. Then his eyes narrowed again. “Let me guess, was this said during the heat of battle?”
“What?” Holden glared at the slightly amused tone to Jack’s voice.
Jack held up his hands peaceably. “Did he say that in the middle of an argument?” he clarified. “Because I know him, Holden. I know both of you. He was upset, you know he says stuff he doesn’t mean when he’s upset.” The added You both do was left unspoken, but it was there.
Holden wanted to agree, he really did, but then he thought of Luke’s words from yesterday. Walking out on Damian is walking out on me. While Holden thought he could handle Luke not going back to school, getting a job, keeping a secret from him… he just couldn’t handle Luke giving Damian that type of consideration, of making it seem like Holden had to choose either Luke with Damian or he couldn’t have Luke at all. After everything that man had done to them… “He was thinking clearly, Jack.”
His cousin shrugged. “Doesn’t mean he meant what he said. Both of you just need to calm down a bit, maybe work on, I don’t know, compromising?”
Holden’s anger intensified again. “I won’t compromise on Damian.” And just like that, all the anger rushed out of him, replaced by his real underlying emotion. Fear. “Every time. Every time that man has come to town, people have been hurt. Luke has been hurt. Luke’s nearly been killed because of him, and I don’t know if…” he sighed. “Jack, if he’s working with Damian now, it’s going to be that much harder to protect him when things get bad.”
Jack almost seemed to flinch at that, piquing Holden’s curiosity. “Between you and Lucinda- and Noah- I doubt Luke will be in as much danger as you think.”
Holden studied Jack a little closer even as he responded. “I just wish Luke was in on that.”
Jack tried to smile comfortingly. “Luke’s never going to give you up. Don’t give up on him either.” The smile faltered a little bit. “This family always sticks together when things get bad, you-”
“What’s going on?” Holden cut in, leaning forward just a little. Something was up, he could tell. “I know you too, Jack. What’s wrong?”
Jack sighed, staring down into his coffee. “I don’t-”
“Jack,” he persisted. “You’re up early on your day off. You’re offering me sage and rational advice. And you look like you’ve got an apocalypse weighing down on your shoulders. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I don’t know,” Jack answered, clenching his jaw. “I mean, I know something’s wrong, but I don’t know what it is. And considering who’s involved, it could be bad.”
“How bad?” Holden was frowning, wondering what family member was in trouble now. Who had Brad maybe pissed off now, or was it Parker's turn? Hell, maybe Ethan had joined a biker gang without him knowing...
Jack glanced up at Holden but couldn’t seem to hold his gaze. “Winston-Mayer-bad.”
Holden instantly had to swallow back the bitter taste in his mouth he always got when that name was mentioned. “Is Noah okay? Is he in trouble?”
His heartbeat stuttered when Jack couldn’t answer right away. “I don’t know,” he finally said again. “You know he’s been having panic attacks again, nightmares and stuff, right?” At Holden’s nod, “And there was something weird about Mayer when I went to visit him last week. I hadn’t been able to find anything out, so I called one of my old friends from the FBI to look into it.”
Holden felt his frown deepen. “Does Noah know you’ve been investigating him like this?”
“No,” Jack admitted, rubbing at the back of his neck. “And don’t think that’s not eating at me. But see, my buddy calls me back and says he had trouble finding paperwork on Mayer during the time in question. There was something ‘missing’ or ‘off’ about their files.”
“That sounds reassuring,” Holden’s mug was empty, and part of him wanted to refill it with liquor. And it was only 9am.
His cousin didn’t look much better. “Exactly my thoughts. And then yesterday…” he paused, clearing his throat. “Yesterday, Noah was at the pond. He looked completely wrecked, Holden. He didn’t say a word the whole time. I don’t think he could’ve if he wanted to.”
Holden sat back in his chair, puzzling it over. “Whatever it was, it must’ve just happened or Luke would have said something at lunch. Do you think Noah found out whatever this mystery with the Colonel is?”
Jack gave an incredulous, almost angry laugh. “Maybe. Or it could be something else entirely. Hell, Mayer could’ve tried to contact him, threaten him, or-” he shook his head, focusing back on Holden. “Fix things with Luke. You love him, he loves you. Things really can be that simple sometimes.”
He got up to rinse out his coffee mug, and Holden watched him silently. He wished he could agree with Jack, but nothing was ever simple when Damian was involved. Damian was toxic and dangerous, and with the way things were going Holden was afraid that he was about to lose Luke for good.
************
Sometimes a cappuccino really was the best medicine. Marcus took another sip of drink, reveling in the taste and the calmness it brought with it. The last twenty-four hours had been… dramatic, to say the least. Well, life was always dramatic when you were dating Lucinda Walsh, he had to guess.
He had honestly been a little afraid for his life when she had stormed into his office yesterday afternoon, even thought she hadn’t even been angry at him (yet). But he had reacted too calmly to the revelation that Luke had been lying and working for his biological father, and Lucinda was too shrewd not to pick up on that. But, luckily, her love for Noah (and hopefully her love for him) was enough to take the thunder out of her stormcloud and see reason.
Marcus couldn’t help but marvel at that family’s ability to not stay out of trouble. As he took another sip, eyes closing to really enjoy the taste, the voice of the young man (Jeff, wasn’t it? Noah’s friend) behind the counter caught his attention. “Hey Noah!”
He turned quickly in his chair to see his patient enter Java, his whole body radiating what could only be described as pure weariness. “Jeff. One coffee, one caramel latte to go?”
Jeff didn’t seem to hear him, giving him a concerned look over. “You okay, man?”
The side of Noah’s mouth lifted upwards, but it was in no way a smile. “Yeah, just one of those days. One coffee, one caramel latte, please?”
“Coming right up.” The kid obviously believed Noah just about as much as Marcus did, but he kept his mouth shut and went to work on his order.
Marcus couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “Noah,” he called softly. He watched as Noah jumped slightly and turned to look at him, a nervous and… was that guilty?... expression flashing across his face. Marcus ignored it, smiling and waving the young man over.
Noah approached cautiously. “Dr. Weston. I-I’m sorry, I can’t sit. I’m just here to get coffee for Luke, and I have to be back at the apartment before he gets back, and I can’t-”
Marcus waved away the nervous rambling. And since when does Noah ramble? “It’s okay, I just wanted to say hi. Alice said you stopped by the office yesterday-” there was that flash of guilt again- “so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Oh,” Noah’s voice took on that slightly higher-pitched tone he got when he was trying to be casual and failing miserably. “It’s fine. I’m- it’s okay. I was, I just needed to…” He paused, took another steadying breath. “I was going to ask you something, but it’s no big deal. It can wait till Thursday.”
“Are you sure?” Marcus knew things weren’t okay. He was more surprised that Noah would think he couldn’t see through this façade. “You can tell me anything.”
“No. It’s fine,” he responded quietly, gritting his teeth a little, trying to keep control.
Marcus should have stopped right there. If he’s learned anything in the months he’s counseled Noah, it’s that he doesn’t respond well to being pushed. But maybe Marcus was still reeling from yesterday’s conversation, or maybe he was thrown by Noah’s haggard appearance now. Either way, he couldn’t stop himself from pressing the issue. “Why don’t you sit down for a bit…”
Noah stiffened, taking a small step back. “I told you, I can’t. I promised Luke I’d be there when he got home.”
Marcus sat forward, cappuccino completely forgotten. “Noah-”
He reached up, rubbing the back of his neck. “It can wait until Thursday, it’s okay,” he insisted.
Shaking his head, Marcus kept at it, voice growing stern. “No, no, I don’t believe you. Something’s up. Noah, I want you to-”
“No!” Noah snapped, his voice intense but quiet. It nearly rocked Marcus back in his chair. “No, I said everything was fine. We’re not in a session, you can’t tell me what to do!”
“Noah…” Marcus wasn’t sure who was more surprised by the outburst- him, Noah, or poor Jeff who was trying to interrupt, two carryout cups in his hands. “Your order’s up, man.”
Marcus stood up, suddenly a little desperate. A little afraid to let Noah out of his sight. “Noah.” His heart dropped down below the floor when Noah flinched away from him. Is he scared of me? Noah was looking back and forth between Marcus and Jeff, unsure what to do. Finally he grabbed the cups out of Jeff’s hands with a muttered thanks and rushed out the door.
“Dr. Weston?” Jeff was still staring out after Noah, brow furrowed.
Marcus turned to the young man. For the first time in a long time, a very long time, he had no idea what to do. Though he was pretty sure he was going to spend most of the day and night replaying this in his head and kicking himself repeatedly. Why did he have to push? “Yes?”
Jeff finally turned to look at him, eyes serious. “I think maybe you better call Luke.”
************
Emily positioned herself back at her desk, trying to impose as much grandness in her posture as the woman in front of her so effortlessly exuded. “Here it is.”
Lucinda eyed the stack of papers and photos in front of her. “Here what is?”
Emily smirked. “Your next and greatest headline. You’re welcome.”
Huffing out a short laugh, Lucinda picked up the papers and slid her glasses on. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t thank you so quickly, Emily. Now hold on, let me…” she read through the articles and files, glancing at the photos. Emily gave her a few minutes, biting her tongue. Finally Lucinda looked up at her over the rim of her glasses. “And how is this, this Andrew Miller, my greatest headline?” she asked, tone doubtful.
Emily’s smirk widened into a self-satisfied smile. “Because he was never found.”
Lucinda sighed, knowing she was being lead on. “And?”
“And I found him,” Emily made sure to shrug oh-so-casually. “Here. In Oakdale.”
Lucinda couldn’t stop her eyes from widening in shock and, she had to admit, interest. “Alright. I’m listening.”
“The man who kidnapped him raised Andrew as his own. He grew up, graduated high school, got into college. He had no idea his whole life was a lie.”
Lucinda laughed again. “If this is true, then Andrew is now…” she glanced down at the papers again, checking dates. “What, twenty-one years old? He would still be in college.”
Emily nodded, her smile widening even further into a grin. “Yes, he is. Set to graduate from OU this May.”
“Oh, so you know this young man?” Lucinda asked, eyes narrowing. “Please tell me he isn’t another of your dalliances with the twenty-something sect of this town.”
Irritation swept through Emily. Really, you sleep with one (consenting!) younger man, and you never live it down. “No, I haven’t slept with him. Not sure I’m really his type, if you get my drift.”
Lucinda looked startled for a moment before understanding flashed across her face. “But you know who he is, obviously.”
And the grin was back. “Yes, I do. He’s dating your grandson.”
There was barely a hesitation, and then Lucinda’s laugh was much more incredulous this time. “My dear, I have no idea what your game is but-”
This time Emily didn’t smile. “Lucinda. This isn’t a game.” She slid over the picture she had made, a photo of Andrew Miller and a photo of Noah Mayer side by side. “This is honest-to-God real.”
“Noah?” Lucinda’s voice was so quiet, so shocked, Emily wasn’t sure if she had imagined it completely. She pretended not to see when Lucinda sadly traced Noah’s photo with her finger. Lucinda snatched her hand back from the picture as though it had burned her. “No. No, no, no. This isn’t… No, Emily. Noah is Noah.”
“Lucinda, do you think I would just make this up?” Emily asked. Off Lucinda’s look, “Yeah, okay, fair enough. But I’m not this time. I’ve traced it all through and the timeline makes sense, even the Mayer family being in Georgia when the kidnapping happened. And then yesterday when Noah was here, I-”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Lucinda was now inadvertently clutching the papers close to her. “Noah was here? He knows about all of this?”
Emily huffed. “Yeah, he was talking to Hunter about it. It was thanks to him that I discovered his real name.” Okay, so she wasn’t sure if Noah knew everything, but what did that really matter?
She was shocked when Lucinda rose quickly to her feet. “His real name is Noah,” she snapped.
Emily shook her head calmly. “No, Lucinda, it’s not. And why he’d want to keep that a secret, you’d have to ask him. I just think-”
“So I assume you have proof for all this? A confession from Colonel Mayer? A DNA test?” Lucinda was in stormcloud mode again.
And for the first time, Emily didn’t feel in control. “No. No, not yet. But if I run the story, don’t you think that will get the ball rolling?”
Lucinda glared. “‘Get the ball rolling?’” she quoted huffily. “You want to subject my family to the insanity that will definitely ensue, just to get the ball rolling?” Another laugh that wasn’t a laugh. “Oh no, Ms. Stewart. I will not let you ruffle a feather or hurt that boy in any way until there is some solid proof.” She started moving towards the door, still holding the Andrew Miller papers.
Emily let her go. “Lucinda. You can delay this all you want, but the story’s still true. Your Noah Mayer isn’t who he says he is. And the truth will come out, one way or another.”
Lucinda left her with one final, admittedly intimidating, glare. “And until I say otherwise, that truth will not be coming out of you or the Intruder. Deal with it.” And then she was gone.
Emily wasn’t too upset. She was only missing out on her national headline for a little while. She knew Lucinda Walsh, and she knew this wasn’t something Lucinda Walsh was going to let go of. She’d be getting her proof, one way or another. Mission accomplished.
************
The fog was slowly melting away. Noah was trying to cling to it with everything he had, but it kept slipping through his fingers. Pretty soon, he was going to have to come out of his protective shell. Pretty soon… he was going to have to admit the truth.
It was already starting, he was already panicking. God, he had pitched a fit in Java. In public. He didn’t know if he could ever face Marcus again, let alone go to a session on Thursday. He wasn’t even really sure if he could show his face in Java again.
He racked his brain trying to come up with some way to tell all this to Luke. How do you put this into words? How do you tell someone you’re… you’re not the person he thought he was in love with.
For a second Noah thought he was going to be sick, but a few deep breaths kept him in place. His head was pounding and his hands were shaking, and it wasn’t just from the aftereffects of the sleeping pills. No, he was just barely holding it together. He was just barely not falling apart.
He was sitting on the couch with the two Java cups on the coffee table in front of him, pretending to watch a rerun of The Daily Show, when he suddenly sensed a presence sitting down next to him. He flinched a little when a hand rested against his forehead. He hadn’t even heard him come home.
“Noah?” Luke’s voice was quiet, soothing. And for a second, it helped keep Noah’s panic at bay, pouring water on the fire. Unfortunately the issues in his brain were a giant forest fire at this point, and there wasn’t enough water in the world.
Noah turned to look at his boyfriend, pulling a little more strength from the look of loving concern in his eyes. It wasn’t enough for Noah to tell Luke everything, but it was enough strength to get him to say something. “I got you a latte,” he whispered.
Luke smiled a little, looking mock stern. “I thought you pinky-swore to stay here.”
His hand was still against Noah’s forehead. Noah felt himself closing his eyes and leaning into the touch, afraid it would be taken away at any second. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, hey, Noah. It’s okay, I’m just teasing,” Luke’s voice got even softer. He moved in closer. “Please, will you tell me what’s wrong? Whatever it is, we can handle it.”
And Noah couldn’t handle that. How could Luke possibly think this was something they could deal with? “I can’t… whoa.” He tried to stand up and start pacing, but he only got as far as standing before he started to shake again.
“Noah!” Luke was next to him in an instant, hands going to his arms like he was going to try to hold him upright. But it didn’t seem to work, because Noah’s strength was already giving out, and he sunk to the floor in front of the couch, bringing his legs up by habit, wrapping his arms around them. He rested his forehead on his knees, trying to hide. Luke dropped down to kneel in front of him, hands still on his arms. “Noah, please. What’s going on?”
“I yelled at Dr. Weston,” he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut tight to ward off any tears. He wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready to tell yet.
Scared as he was, Luke couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “I don’t think it was actually yelling, but…” Noah looked up timidly, confused, so Luke smiled, reaching out to wipe at the moisture next to his eyes. “Dr. Weston called me like twenty minutes ago. He told me what happened.” When Noah ducked his head back down, face flushing, Luke pulled him back up. “He was really worried, babe. He’s not upset with you.”
Noah stared at him, searching Luke’s face for any hint of coddling, but there was none. “He’s not mad?”
“No, no, of course he isn’t,” Luke rubbed one hand up and down his arm soothingly. “And neither am I. Just tell me what’s going on, please!” His tone was getting desperate, and Noah hated hearing him that way.
“Luke…” his voice broke on the one word, and he had to clear his throat to speak again. “Luke. My dream wasn’t a dream.”
“What?” Luke’s brow furrowed, and he settled down more comfortably on his knees, one hand on Noah’s leg. He realized he was unable to break contact completely (or at all). “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t know why I never figured it out before,” he was about to start rambling, he knew it. “All those times he punished me for not being the son he wanted, all those expectations I could never live up to, the reason Charlene left without me, why he never let me have friends, it all makes sense now, doesn’t it?”
“Um,” Luke tried to keep his voice light, even as his face grew more and more concerned. “I think I missed something, because this all seems to be making a sense that’s… not. Noah, can you tell me what’s hurting you?”
“I…” his voice dropped down to a whisper. Maybe Luke and the world wouldn’t hear him this way. Maybe he wouldn’t hear it. “I don’t think Noah is my real name. I don’t think I’m really Winston Mayer’s son.”
There were a few seconds of silence while Luke tried to figure out what all that meant. In that time Noah looked everywhere but at him, halfway hoping Luke hadn’t heard him. But he was pretty sure Luke did, because now he was letting go of Noah’s shoulders, pulling back. Noah hid his face again, not wanting Luke to see the cringe or fear he was feeling.
But then there were hands holding his elbows as though he was about to pull Noah’s arms away. Luke finally opened his mouth to say something, and would have said something, but right at that moment the front door burst open.
************
Casey was pretty much a one man mission at this point. He felt like that guy in the scene from Airplane! (the movie they watched at the last Movie Night) who walked in a straight line, punching anyone who got in his way, never breaking stride. Casey definitely felt like doing that now.
A hundred thoughts and worries were crashing through his brain, and the only thing he could get himself to do was head straight to Luke and Noah’s apartment.
He didn’t even realize he was there until he found himself at their front door. Knocking didn’t occur to him, so instead he used the spare key they gave him months ago, shoving it into the lock with his free hand and barging in like he owned the place. And then he stopped short.
Noah was sitting on the floor, his back to the sofa, forehead resting on his drawn-up knees. Luke was kneeling in front of him, hands grasping Noah’s elbows. He looked up, startled at Casey’s entrance. “Case?” Luke looked about as dazed as a person could look. Noah didn’t even look up at all.
Casey stepped closer, suddenly hesitant. All that time he had spent pacing in Old Town, all the time it had taken to get over here, he hadn’t thought to come up with what he was going to say. “Um, Hunter. Hunter called me, completely freaked. He… Noah?” He waited until Noah finally looked up at him, eyes wary and exhausted. “Noah, he figured it all out. Didn’t know what to do, so he told me everything. He thought I should know.” He came even closer, standing next to them now. “He thought I could help or something.”
“Should know what?” Luke spoke up, not letting go of Noah. “Figured what out? What does everyone seem to know except me?”
Casey opened his mouth, but Noah’s quiet voice spoke up first. “My dream wasn’t a dream. It was a memory.”
“You and those kids and your mother?” Luke asked. Even as Noah nodded, Luke’s eyes widened. “And the Colonel? In your dre- your memory, he grabbed you, pulled you into a car…” He sat back a little, confused. “I don’t understand. He kidnapped you as a kid? He took you away from Charlene?”
“No,” Noah’s voice was pained and heavy, like he was weighed down by the entire world. Casey took a seat on the floor next to him, close but not touching. “No, Luke. The woman in that memory wasn’t Charlene. It was my real mother. Those kids were my brother and sister.” He tried to breathe deeply, and mostly succeeded. “I was someone else, and the Colonel took me away from them.”
“What?” Luke was either not understanding, or not letting himself understand. Silently, Casey handed over what he’d been holding the whole time. It was all the articles and research Hunter had done on Andrew Miller.
Luke took them, handling the pile like it was a bomb about to go off. While he read through everything, Casey gingerly reached out and rested an arm around Noah’s shoulders. Noah bowed his head again, breathing heavily against his knees.
“That’s everything,” Casey confirmed quietly when Luke was done, looking up like the floor had just dropped out from under him. “I came over as soon as I could.”
Luke looked down at a photo of Andrew Miller, then back up at his boyfriend. Who had yet to move or make eye contact with anyone. Luke let out a breath sharply and then nearly threw himself forward, arms going tight around Noah. “Oh God, Noah. Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He tightened his grip when Noah made no move to return the embrace. Casey kept his arm where it was too. Luke, of course, kept talking. “I mean it though, love. We’ll figure this out. It’s going to be okay, okay? We’ll figure all this out.”
“Of course we will,” Casey chimed in, getting worried when Noah still didn’t acknowledge them. Of course, he wasn’t sure what he expected Noah to do. It’s not like there was a normal way to react in this situation. This was crazy. When Hunter had explained everything to him, Casey had been sure it was an elaborate prank. Payback for when he had put Lifesavers in Hunter’s showerhead that one time. But when the truth had finally sunk in… it was the first time in a long time that Casey had been rendered speechless.
He looked over at Luke helplessly, but Luke was busy studying Noah. And then, suddenly, a flash of understanding lit up his eyes. “Noah,” Luke said quieter. “This changes things, I know, but it doesn’t change you, got it? It doesn’t change who you are or how we feel about you.”
Noah shuddered under the weight of their arms, leaning more into Luke. “I just…” he began hoarsely. “I just don’t want it to be real.”
Luke kissed his forehead. “I know you don’t. And there’s a chance it isn’t real. But no matter what, you’re not dealing with this alone, you understand me?”
There was something resembling a laugh. “I’m good and stuck with you?” Noah quoted the oft-repeated phrase Luke always used to convince Noah that he was a part of the family.
Luke’s laugh was just as forced. “You know it, babe.” He had almost said ‘Mayer’ instead of ‘babe,’ but changed his mind at the last second. He probably shouldn’t use Noah’s last name right now. Is that even his last name now? He really felt like bawling till there were no tears left in his body, but he couldn’t do that until he was sure Noah was okay. (And how was Noah not bawling till there were no tears left in his body?) “Tell me how you’re feeling.”
“Really worried and a little freaked out,” Casey answered automatically. When Luke turned to stare at him, he widened his eyes. “Oh, you weren’t talking to me?”
Luke was about to snap at him when Noah let out a weak, but genuine, laugh. Luke softened and caught Casey’s wink before turning back to his boyfriend, kissing his forehead again and running a hand through his hair. The basics of Noah Comforting 101. “Come on, Noah. What are you feeling right now?”
Noah finally raised his head to look at both of them, and both of them tightened their grips on him because of it. He looked lost, younger than he was, and so scared. “I don’t know. I can’t figure it out. Yesterday I found out my… my entire life might be a lie. And I’ve been walking around in this fog, wanting to deny it all.”
“I don’t think you can do that anymore, dude,” Casey said quietly. “I’m sorry, really sorry, but I think you’re past that point now.”
“I know,” Noah replied softly. He leaned his head forward until it rested against Luke’s. “But I don’t want to be. I need to… to sort through it all in my head. Figure out what I feel and what I want to do.”
Luke and Casey exchanged glances again before Luke turned back to Noah. “Sure, babe, whatever you need to do. Except for, you know, the whole ‘all in my head’ part. Because that’s not going to happen.”
Noah looked up again, hurt. “What?”
Luke rushed to explain. “It can’t stay in your head. You’ve got me, you’ve got Casey, and you’ve got a bunch of other people who love you and will want to help. I don’t think you’ll be able to fight us all off. We’re kinda relentless like that.”
Noah shuddered again, but it might have been part chuckle this time. “I know, and I love you for that, but just for right now, can’t we…?”
Casey jumped in without meaning to; he just couldn’t stop himself. “Yeah, it’s fine, man. This is a crazy thing to get dumped on your head. We can keep this quiet for a little while, just till you get your bearings.”
Luke nodded, his fingers still trailing gently through Noah’s hair. “Of course, of course. It’s up to you, what you want to do. And hey, I’m a Snyder. I totally understand wanting to keep away from fuss for as long as possible.” And then, just like that, even as Casey was mentally kicking Luke in the face for possibly jinxing them with those words, the front door was flung wide open.
************
Luke wanted to kick himself in the face. He totally jinxed them, didn’t he? Because he’d barely finished those words when the door burst open. Again. And this time it wasn’t someone awesome like Casey. It was someone terrifying. Someones, actually, like his parents and grandmother. Instinctively, Luke rose to his feet, keeping a hand on Noah’s shoulder. Casey jumped up so he was now sitting on the couch, but made sure he was still sitting between Noah and everyone else.
“Mom? Dad? Grandmother, what are you…?” Luke looked back and forth between their faces, and knew something was up. He glanced back down at Noah, who looked just as startled and confused as he did. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to-”
“We know, Luke.” Lily’s voice cut in, brittle and barely controlled. “We know everything. When were you planning on telling us?” The question wasn’t, surprisingly, directed at Luke. She was looking at Noah.
Once again he and Casey exchanged glances, this time much more frantic. Oh crap. “Mom, why don’t we all sit down and-”
“No, darling, I think we’re fine right here. Why don’t you explain to us why, yet again, you’re keeping secrets from us,” Lucinda raised an eyebrow, studying the three of them.
Luke kept his hand firmly on Noah’s shoulder and felt him flinch at Lucinda’s tone which, almost against his will, caused Luke to grow defensive. He glared right back at his parents. “We’re not keeping secrets! What the hell is going on?”
“Hey, watch the attitude,” Holden warned, more out of instinct than anything else.
And all of the anger he was feeling at his father came rushing to the front of Luke’s brain. “Excuse me, you’re the ones who barged in here and started accusing us! You can’t just-”
“Luke, stop! Just stop!” Lily cut in again, her voice still wavering. She walked over to them, coming to a stop right in front of Noah. She crouched down in front of him, pulling his arms away so she could look him in the eyes. “Noah.” She put a hand to his cheek, holding his face up steady. “Why didn’t you tell us, sweetie? I thought…” she took a second to collect herself. “You told me I could trust you. And that you could trust me. Did you mean that?”
Noah’s completely crestfallen face, and his inability to talk, spurred Luke forward again. “Mom, back off a little bit! We’re not keeping secrets, we just found out about all of this.”
“Really? You ‘just’ found out?” Lucinda’s hands flailed in the air. “Noah? Did you ‘just’ find out about this today?”
Ever truthful, Noah shook his head. Before Luke could jump in to explain, before Lucinda could pounce on his answer, Holden spoke up again. “Why don’t we all take a step back for a second?” His voice was soft, but it carried throughout the room. All of them relaxed a bit, and for that Luke almost could have kissed his dad. Lily stood up and moved to stand next to him, and Noah shakily got off the floor to join Casey on the couch, Luke following. “Noah, when did you find out?”
Luke crept closer, letting go of Noah’s shoulder so he could grab his hand instead. He knew Noah was hating this- there were too many people in the room, too many people focused on him. Part of Luke may have been holding on tightly to make sure Noah didn’t bolt. Noah breathed in and out a few times before he could speak. “Yesterday.” His voice was still too unsteady for Luke’s liking.
That pretty much took the wind out of everyone’s sails. “Yesterday?” Lucinda repeated. “But…”
“What’s going on, how did you guys find out?” Luke still couldn’t wrap his head around this. “Why do you think it’s this big giant secret we’ve been keeping?” Holden didn’t say anything, but the twitch of his brow almost, almost, started Luke in on another tantrum. But instead he kept a firm grip on Noah’s hand and focused on his grandmother.
Lucinda was shaking her head. “Emily Stewart said-”
“Oh, God I should have known she’d find a way to ruin this,” Casey groaned, burying his head in his hands. He pulled it back up just long enough to say “No offense, Ms. Walsh,” before his head dropped back down.
It was the first time in a very long time (maybe ever) that Luke could remember seeing Lucinda Walsh blush. “Oh good Lord,” she muttered before looking back at the three boys. “Darlings, I’m so sorry. I should have never listened to that… that…” she calmed herself back down. “Noah, truly, I am sorry.”
Noah nodded, his head down again. Luke really wanted to get everyone else out of this room and talk to Noah alone. Noah needed some peace and quiet right now, not a Snyder Smotherfest. But he didn’t stop Lily from stepping forward again and resting her hand on Noah’s knee. Noah looked up slowly to meet her gaze. After a moment Noah offered her a small, forgiving smile and Lily nodded and smiled back before going back to Holden.
But Luke had to ask. “All it took was Emily Stewart and you were ready to-”
“It wasn’t just that,” Holden said, sounding much more gentle now that he could see how upset Noah was. “Jack’s been looking into it for awhile, trying to find records or files or something, and he said he saw you at the pond yesterday, Noah, and-”
“Jack was researching me?” Noah asked, his voice small and disbelieving. Luke winced. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Holden wince too. “He didn’t tell me.”
“I don’t think he knew he was doing anything until yesterday, son,” Holden rushed to explain. Noah didn’t respond, and Luke was trying to figure out a way to sneak the two of them out of this room without anyone noticing when his dad spoke again. “Now, we need to figure out what the next step is from here.”
Casey’s eyes widened comically, and Luke would have laughed if he wasn’t just as surprised and, frankly, incredibly furious again. “The next step is you guys go home. Noah needs some time to deal with all of this, don’t you think? Give him some breathing room, maybe?”
Lily clearly didn’t want that to be the next step. “Will you two,” she glanced at Casey, “or three, be okay? Noah, do you want us to stay?”
Noah swallowed hard, seeming to shrink under all their gazes. “I think I need some time first,” he said more to his shoes than anyone in the room.
Lily nodded even though Noah couldn’t see her. “Honey, have you thought about whether or not you want to contact this family?”
“Mom!” Luke snapped. He couldn’t believe she couldn’t wait another day for this.
“Lily.” Holden’s admonishment was quieter but no less serious. “Now’s not the time.”
Noah still had a death grip on Luke’s hand. He turned to him, ignoring his parents for the moment. “Hey, it’s okay,” he spoke quietly, putting his other hand on top of their clasped ones. “Don’t even think that far ahead yet. Don’t think about anyone else. Think about yourself.”
“I’m not even sure if I can tie my shoes right now,” Noah murmured.
Luke laughed, somewhat in relief. That was the most spark he’d seen out of Noah all day. “Well, whatever you do, don’t even pretend you’re going to do any of this without me. I mean it, babe. I’ll call Damian tomorrow, I’m not going to New York.”
Noah looked at him, eyes sad. “But you wanted to go.”
“And I want to be with you even more,” Luke shot back.
He shook his head. “I can’t ask you to-”
“What’s in New York?” Holden was standing next to them. When had Holden gotten so close?
“What?” Luke asked dumbly. Oh, there’s no way this was going to end well…
“New York?” Holden prompted, staying on just this side of control.
Luke closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then reopened them. “Damian asked me to go on a business trip with him to New York and I was going to say yes but now I’m saying no so I can stay with Noah.” Oh yeah, all in one breath.
“And when were you going to tell us, on your way to the airport?” Holden wasn’t as impressed with the whole ‘all in one breath.’
And there went his hackles rising once again. “Really don’t think that’s what’s important right now!” he tried to remain civil, but somehow found himself standing face to face with his dad.
“Luke, I know, I’m sorry, it’s just… why do you think we assumed this had been kept a secret? When are you going to start trusting us?”
“Holden,” and now it was Lily’s turn to try to admonish her husband.
“When are you going to stop assuming that everything I do is a personal insult against you?” Luke couldn’t stop. Somewhere in the corner of his mind he noticed Noah and Casey getting off the couch, Noah backing up until he was against the far wall, out of the way.
Lucinda turned to him. “Noah, I’m going to get my private investigators to look into this, maybe-”
Noah shook his head, arms wrapped around himself. “Please, I- I can’t-”
“Luke, calm down,” Lily tried to soothe before turning to Lucinda. “Mother, maybe they can check out the family, make sure…”
“Um, hey…” Casey tried to cut in, but it was no use.
“You can’t do this,” Luke protested, anger still directed at his dad. “You can’t come into our home and demand all these things and then accuse me, us, of… of… You have no right!”
“No right? You’re our son! Not his!” Holden’s voice was starting to rise now.
“Okay,” Casey was starting to bounce on his toes a little. “Maybe we should-”
“And of course, it comes right back to the Big Bad Evil that is Damian, right? Because that’s what this is all about!” Luke threw his hands in the air in pure frustration.
“Did he want you to keep this New York thing from us?” Holden kept with it.
“God, Dad, maybe it had nothing to do with you, did you ever think about that?” Okay, Luke may have been shouting now.
“Alright, that’s it!” Casey was definitely shouting. “You know what, it has nothing to do with either of you! Not right now, not tonight!” He got in between Luke and Holden and shoved Luke back gently. Luke was about to snap at him, but Casey’s glare stopped him. “Tonight? I think it would be best if we all calmed down and focused on how we can help Noah. Don’t you agree?”
Luke deflated in about two milliseconds and felt like kicking himself in the face again. He turned to where Noah was standing. “Noah…” Well, where Noah was standing. Because Noah wasn’t standing there anymore. Noah wasn’t in the living room.
“Noah?” Lily called out, looking around frantically, and then Luke knew. He just knew. Noah wasn’t in the apartment.
“Oh, damn it!” Luke threw himself out of the living room and down the short hallway to the front door. He made it outside, his family and Casey right behind him, in just enough time to see Noah’s truck pull out of the parking lot and disappear down the street. Noah was gone.
TO BE CONTINUED! Coming Up: Casey takes out his frustration on the right person, Lily tries to put her family back together (again), Luke wrestles with the duties of his job, Noah comes up with a plan (spoiler: you're not going to like it!)