Subtle Changes (part 2) - MomoKai
Title: Subtle Changes
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Momoshiro/Kaidoh
Rating: MA
Word count: 58k
Chapters: 1 (part 1) | 1 (part 2) | 2 (part 1) | 2 (part 2) | 2 (part 3) | 2 (part 4)
Summary: They don’t look each other in the eye when they do it.
A/N: Part 2
“I’m gonna ...” Momoshiro inhales sharply. “Have a match playing soon.”
Kaidoh ignores Momoshiro’s attempt at starting a conversation as they’re hastily jerking each other off behind the clubhouse.
“Want you to come,” Momoshiro sighs.
“Huh?” Kaidoh’s movements slow down as he looks up at Momoshiro. “Now?” he asks, confused.
Momoshiro growls at him, forcefully shoving his hips into him. “Idiot, I’m talking about my match.”
Kaidoh pushes himself into Momoshiro’s body as well, hisses right into his ear. “Shut up already.” He buries his face into the crook of Momoshiro’s neck. It’s sending pleasant tingles down Momoshiro’s neck.
“But it’s going to be in two da-hmpf.” Kaidoh’s hand is suddenly covering Momoshiro’s mouth, stifling his voice. He jerks him off even harder, in a faster pace that’s almost painful, to show he means business, and doesn’t want to talk. Well. Fine. But it’s almost impossible to find time to talk to Kaidoh when most of the time he’s out running or lifting weights, or whatever, and the time they do manage to find, it ends up like this.
It’s gotten rather annoying. And it makes their jerk-off sessions quick and abrupt, and that sort of leaves Momoshiro a bit unsatisfied and cranky. He actually enjoys taking his time, and not feeling like he’s on the clock.
Annoyed with Kaidoh’s hand still covering his mouth, Momoshiro opens his mouth and bites down on Kaidoh’s index finger. Kaidoh grunts, and his hand slips away from his mouth, then lightly scratches Momoshiro’s cheek in revenge. Momoshiro’s response is to wrap an arm around Kaidoh’s back, and scrape his fingernails down his spine. Asshole. He can scratch too. Each retaliation simply escalates their roughhousing with each other, and now they’re both stroking and scratching the other. The combined forces of his usual fighting with Kaidoh and his hot hand going up and down, makes Momoshiro orgasm quite easily.
At least they started carrying tissues with them this time.
oOo
“You came.”
Momoshiro jogs up to Kaidoh, a smile spreading on his face. His heart is still pounding from the match he played twenty minutes ago. It was a good match, an awesome match, and he won. His entire team won. He’s supposed to meet up with his teammates to celebrate and get drunk, but when he sees Kaidoh leaning against the building, he makes a mental note to apologize to his team for not coming.
“Well, you asked me to,” says Kaidoh with a grunt. He sticks his hands into the pockets of his shorts and stares down at the concrete, like he doesn’t quite know what to do.
“Did you watch the whole thing?” Momoshiro asks excitedly. All those nervous and jumpy jitters are still fluttering around in his stomach, it’s simply amplified when he sees Kaidoh.
“Yeah.” Kaidoh slouches his shoulders. “You uhh, did well. Or something.” His voice sounds completely unenthusiastic, and even his body posture is stiff and emotionless.
Momoshiro grins and then socks him one in the shoulder before he stands next to Kaidoh and leans against the wall as well. “I did awesome, you mean,” says Momoshiro. “I kicked his ass. They should crown me captain for that match.”
Kaidoh snorts. “Keep dreaming.”
Momoshiro pushes his shoulder into Kaidoh’s. “Hey, I totally could be. Maybe in a year, since I’m such a prodigy in tennis.”
“More like a flailing idiot.”
“I resent that!”
Kaidoh’s lips curl up slightly, and he exhales an amused and muffled chuckle. It makes Momoshiro grin even wider; this day just can’t get any better. Well, it could have gotten better. He could have been playing doubles with Kaidoh instead. Yeah, that would have been really nice.
“Too bad I play singles now,” says Momoshiro, his smile faltering. Kaidoh says nothing. “I miss playing with you.”
Kaidoh flinches back a bit. “A-asshole, don’t say weird stuff like that.” He composes himself and clears his throat. “I’m in the track and field club right now,” he explains in this completely unemotional voice. And then, he lowers his head. “But uhh ... that doesn’t mean we can’t play any matches against each other ...”
Momoshiro’s heart flutters around in his ribcage. A match with Kaidoh? It’s been years! “Really?” he asks, completely caught off guard at the offer.
“Only if I have time,” Kaidoh grunts.
And the fluttery feeling in his chest quiets down. Time. They don’t have much of that anymore. “Oh,” says Momoshiro, feeling dejected. “Like ... when?”
“I don’t know.” Kaidoh kicks his shoe at the concrete, like he’s impatient. “When I don’t have training.”
“But you always have training,” Momoshiro whines. That just isn’t fair! What’s the point of even offering a match if Kaidoh’s got absolutely no free time himself? The small bits of time they do manage to find, they’re busy humping each other, and even that leaves Momoshiro restless most of the time.
They stay silent for what seems like forever, simply next to each other, mulling over their own thoughts. Surprisingly, it’s Kaidoh who breaks the silence.
“Summer vacation,” he says.
“Huh?”
“We can play then.”
“Oh right ... hadn’t thought of that. It’s like next month, too.” Momoshiro tries to remember if he made any plans for his summer vacation, but can’t really remember any. He would have probably just went back home to visit his parents, and that’s it. “Don’t you have any plans then?”
Kaidoh hisses. “Well I’m making them now, dumbass.”
Momoshiro chuckles. “Alright then. Summer vacation it is. How about we go do some other stuff as well?” Like rent a room in a love hotel and get Kaidoh to use his lips.
Kaidoh turns his head to look at Momoshiro, who stares back at him. There’s that weird tingly sensation crawling on his skin again whenever he looks Kaidoh in the eye. “Okay,” says Kaidoh.
And that’s how their summer vacation plans were made.
oOo
In the month leading up to their summer vacation, things got a little bit heated. By that, Momoshiro means the air got really hot in their room. They don’t have an airco in their room, so it’s hell after coming back from training, and sweating like crazy from the heat. Momoshiro opts to just strut around in his boxer shorts all the time-no way is he wearing anything that resembles a shirt or pants in this heat.
“Do you really need to shun all of your clothes?” Kaidoh asks in an irritated voice. He points at Momoshiro, who is sitting on his own bed, fanning his face with a fan he bought at some local tourist shop. He’s showing off as much skin as possible to maximize the effect of the wind coming from his fan to cool down his body.
“Yes,” Momoshiro answers honestly. “It’s fucking hot in here. What else do you want me to do?”
“Wear clothes.”
“It’s too hot for that!” He fans himself even faster, a little agitated now. It’s not good to fight when he’s sweaty all over. It takes too much effort. “Besides, look at what you’re wearing yourself.”
“I’m wearing clothes,” says Kaidoh with a sneer.
“Stupid tight tank top with super short shorts. You might as well just strip naked while you’re at it-and you’re like this throughout the year no matter what temperature it is outside!”
“That’s because I don’t sweat like a monkey like you.”
“I don’t sweat like a-wait, monkeys can sweat?” Momoshiro stops his fan as he contemplates this very serious question.
“Idiot. They’re mammals. Of course they sweat.” Kaidoh rolls his eyes.
“Yeah well, I’m no monkey.”
“A sweaty pig, then.”
Thunk, is the sound the fan makes as it hits Kaidoh’s head. He lets out a battle roar and dives straight for Momoshiro’s neck, and they end up wrestling each other on his bed. It’s sweaty and sticky, and really rather tiring to do this, so Momoshiro soon gives up trying to do anything at all, and lets Kaidoh simply pin him down on the mattress, straddling his hips. One hand is pressed down onto his bare chest, to prevent him from moving much-not like Momoshiro would move in the first place. But Kaidoh’s hand does feel rather cool to the touch, so he doesn’t complain.
“It’s too hot to fight, Mamushi,” Momoshiro says with a sigh.
Kaidoh says nothing, but instead is eerily fixated on his own hand. Or maybe he’s staring at Momoshiro’s chest. Maybe he’s coming up with another insult to fling at him because of how much he’s sweating.
“What?” he asks, frowning up at Kaidoh.
Kaidoh pulls back a little, blinking his eyes and removing his gaze from Momoshiro’s chest. “Then don’t start a fight, dumbass,” he says.
“Yeah, well, don’t call me a pig.”
“But you are one,” says Kaidoh with a snort.
“Hey! I haven’t asked you to blow me again after that one time, so shut up. I’m not a pig.”
The hand on Momoshiro’s chest stiffens up, and he can see Kaidoh’s eyes widen slightly in response. “What the hell does that have to do with anything? You’re disgusting.”
“Disgusting like a pig?” Momoshiro mocks.
“Yes!”
“Fuck you. There’s nothing disgusting about it. Well, maybe it is just a little, because it would be super sweaty, and that’s gross, and I can’t imagine you’d taste like rainbows and sunshine either. Eww. Nasty stuff.”
Kaidoh merely stares down at Momoshiro, his expression unreadable, except for the slight hue of red tainting his cheeks. It might be because it’s hot, or maybe because he’s too embarrassed to talk about this. Then again, he doesn’t seem to want to get off Momoshiro, so maybe he’s not embarrassed after all. He leans back and removes his hand, sitting up straight on top of Momoshiro.
“You ... really want to?” he asks in a hesitant voice, like he’s carefully treading the waters.
Well, that serious question certainly caught Momoshiro off guard, because he certainly didn’t expect Kaidoh to give it any thought whatsoever, much less ask him if he wants to do it for real. A mix of shock, confusion, and curiosity flashes across Momoshiro’s face, before it settles on determination. “Yeah,” he chokes out, his throat feeling dry like he’s been doing nothing but swallowing sand in this heat.
Kaidoh’s gaze goes down again, staring at his own hand, and that makes something hopeful well up inside of Momoshiro. Is he seriously considering this? He’s actually got a shot at this? Kaidoh might actually suck him off after all? Just the thought of that is enough to give him a stiffy (like he wasn’t already half hard from their tussle before). And that’s just enough for Kaidoh to notice, because he whips his head around and then glares at Momoshiro with this indignant expression on his face, before he pushes himself away completely.
“I’m not doing it,” Kaidoh says with a huff.
Momoshiro groans out loud-he almost convinced Kaidoh to do it! Ugh. Fine. Maybe he can try again on a later date, but right now, something needs to be done with that persistent problem in his underwear.
“Whatever-at least do something about this, then,” says Momoshiro and he points his finger at his erection creating a bulge in his shorts.
Kaidoh simply hisses at Momoshiro, before he knocks him in the head with his own fan.
oOo
Summer vacation lasts for two weeks, and that is too long for Momoshiro. Too long without Kaidoh, the convenient handjob machine. He’ll have to make do with his own right hand, but he’s certainly not looking forward to it. Which is why, the day before the vacation starts, he made sure to set aside some time to have a nice long jerk off session with Kaidoh.
And it seems Kaidoh was thinking the same, because he actually had some free time that day. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on Momoshiro’s part, but either way, they were both free, and they were both eager. Or again, maybe that’s wishful thinking. Momoshiro is always eager, he’s not quite sure what Kaidoh thinks about the whole thing, but if he didn’t like it, he’d have kicked Momoshiro in the balls a long time ago and then never talked to him again. And considering that didn’t happen (well, maybe once), it’s safe to say, maybe Kaidoh is eager too.
So their last jerk off session before summer vacation started was a bit weird. It was much longer than the other quickies they’ve been feeding off on for weeks now. It was slow and careful, and definitely planned. Despite Momoshiro’s rule to leave their clothes on, it wasn’t like he had much of a choice in this heat. Even Kaidoh couldn’t handle it anymore once they started going at it, going from light teasing strokes, to a much more persistent rhythm. So he took off his shirt as well, and this time, Momoshiro didn’t question it. He didn’t even question it when Kaidoh’s hand was suddenly on his shoulder again-something he’s done plenty of other times before. He still didn’t question it when his grip became softer and less of a means of support, and more about trailing it down his biceps, and then back up again. Even when Kaidoh’s head was buried in his neck, making these little gasping sounds, Momoshiro didn’t question it.
Momoshiro’s mind was in too much of a haze to comprehend what exactly Kaidoh was doing. All he knew was that he was feeling good, and Kaidoh was feeling good, so that’s all that mattered.
In the end, it was hard to notice the distance Kaidoh had crossed between them, how many rules he had broken. Momoshiro just wanted to get one last handjob from him before summer vacation, so he forgave Kaidoh’s weird behavior. Maybe that was Kaidoh’s way of showing he was going to miss this, too. Maybe.
And that’s how he ended up spending the rest of summer vacation back at his home, along with his parents and siblings.
It’s sort of a nightmare.
He’d forgotten how much freedom college has given him, with his parents not knowing what he did. But now they do, and they won’t stop questioning him about how school is going, and if he made new friends, and if he’s gotten a girlfriend. Momoshiro feels like he’s being interrogated. He keeps his mouth shut about Kaidoh, simply referring him as his ‘roommate’, because that’s all Kaidoh is to him. A roommate. And occasionally his jerk-off-buddy. Is this what they call being friends with benefits? Momoshiro doesn’t know, and he doesn’t like putting labels on it, so he tries to avoid any conversation about Kaidoh the jerk-off-buddy.
The worst thing of all, of course, is the fact that he has to do without Kaidoh. He spends a lot of lonely nights with his right hand, and it never satisfies him. Even when he tries to fantasize about Kaidoh giving him a blowjob; it doesn’t do much. It still leaves him wanting the real thing.
And it’s hard to admit, but Momoshiro actually misses him. Yes, he most certainly misses their fun times together, but also misses him in general. They’ve been with each other every day since the start of college, so it’s weird not to have him around, or see him lifting his dumbbells, or run around campus showing off his leg muscles. He misses insulting him and getting into petty fights-it was their daily routine, and Momoshiro feels like he’s unable to properly unwind after each day because he couldn’t throw an insult at Kaidoh’s head.
He tries to remedy this weird sense of loneliness by sending a bunch of text messages to Kaidoh. Calling him a dickhead, or a snake, or a stupid training freak, and sometimes telling him about how annoying his sister has become since he left. Sometimes he’d be nice and ask him how his vacation was going. Kaidoh doesn’t ever answer any his texts of course, something which really pisses Momoshiro off, but doesn’t discourage him from sending another text in the least. The only time he does get a reply, is when Momoshiro asks him if they’re still going to have their tennis match tomorrow. To which he replied with a simple ‘yes’. So at least he’s alive still.
What a dick, doesn’t even have the courtesy to reply to all of his other texts. Momoshiro will punch him extra hard when he sees him tomorrow.
He goes to bed feeling butterflies swarm in his stomach; he can’t wait to play against Kaidoh again.
oOo
It’s been ten days since he last saw Kaidoh. Ten miserable days. Momoshiro is sitting down on the steps of the stairs leading to the tennis court. It’s a nice sunny day, a bit too hot still for his tastes, but tolerable. No one else but him is there, which is fine, that means they’re alone at least. Despite his need for always showing off in front of an audience, Momoshiro would like to keep this just between them. He doesn’t want to share this moment with anyone else.
When Kaidoh is five minutes late, Momoshiro angrily punches down the keys on his cellphone to send him a text message. What’s holding him up, huh? And right when he sends the text message, something hits him in the back of his head.
“What the hell-” Momoshiro looks over his shoulder to see what hit him, and sees Kaidoh walking past him with his bag in tow. “Kaidoh!” he says eagerly, completely forgetting he hit him right now. Then he remembers he’s late. “What took you so long, jerk.”
“Let’s just play,” says Kaidoh. He puts his gear onto the ground and unzips his bag, taking out his racket.
Momoshiro stays put on the stairs, narrowing his eyes at Kaidoh and wondering if he changed something about his appearance; he looks a bit different than normal. “Yo, Mamushi, got a sunburn or something?” Momoshiro smirks. “Your cheeks are pretty red.”
Kaidoh points his racket at Momoshiro and growls. “Shut up dumbass, get off your fat ass and play me.”
“I’ve got some sunscreen with me if you want to use it!” Momoshiro says with a cheerful grin.
Eventually Kaidoh just throws a tennis ball at Momoshiro’s head, but luckily he catches it in time. Alright, it’s showtime.
oOo
“That ... was a great match,” Momoshiro says out of breath. He wipes his sweaty hand off on his shorts and then stretches it out over the net.
“Yeah ...” Kaidoh does the same and slides his hand into the palm of Momoshiro’s. It zaps him with a rush-probably leftover adrenaline from that awesome match they played against one another.
“Maybe if you were in the tennis club instead, you could have beaten me,” Momoshiro points out. He smirks up at Kaidoh, seeing the sun set behind him. Their match lasted over two hours, they were pretty much evenly matched.
“I just went easy on you, that’s all,” says Kaidoh, but there’s a slight smirk on his lips as well.
“Sure you did,” Momoshiro says in a mock tone. “You keep telling yourself that. If you don’t start playing tennis again soon, I’ll leave you behind.” Momoshiro squeezes Kaidoh’s hand a bit harder.
“I guess that just means we’ll have to play a few matches every now and then.” Kaidoh returns the squeeze as well, and this time, he’s smiling a little as well.
“Hah, only if you enjoy getting your ass kicked!” Momoshiro laughs.
“In your dreams, dumbass,” says Kaidoh in a playful tone.
Momoshiro feels himself being filled up with a warm liquid. Maybe it’s from the sun, maybe it’s from playing a good match, maybe it’s because Kaidoh’s joking around with him, or who knows why. What matters is that he got to play against Kaidoh again, and there might be more to come. He finally lets go of Kaidoh’s warm hand-surprisingly he’s not thinking about the way that hand feels like when it’s wrapped around his penis. Instead, he thinks it feels pleasant like this as well.
“Man, I’m beat. This was a real good work out,” says Momoshiro as he walks off the court. He stores away his racket in his bag and zips it closed, swinging it over his back. “I just wanna relax now.”
“You’re just lazy,” says Kaidoh, jogging up to him with his own bag thrown over his shoulder. “If you did a little more training, then you wouldn’t be so out of breath right now.”
“Says the person who is having trouble steadying his own breathing,” mocks Momoshiro. And it’s true, Kaidoh’s chest is heaving up and down as well, he’s just as exhausted as Momoshiro.
Kaidoh looks down at the ground as they both start to walk away from the tennis court. “I’m fine ...” he mumbles. Then he clears his throat, and says in a louder voice, “I’m fine.”
Momoshiro simply snickers and pushes his fist into Kaidoh’s shoulder. Suddenly he feels nostalgic about this entire encounter; it’s been years since they played against each other. Years since they were this tired, yet satisfied. And there was something they always did at the end of a good match ... Momoshiro holds his fist out like an invitation, with a big toothy grin on his face. Kaidoh huffs, a bit amused himself, and he pounds Momoshiro’s fist with his own. The contact makes Momoshiro feel that adrenaline again, and a whole dose of nostalgia. He chuckles at Kaidoh, and feels comfortable enough to throw an arm around him.
“I’m too tired, how about you take me home,” Momoshiro jokes.
“Take yourself home,” says Kaidoh. He pushes his shoulder into Momoshiro’s chest, a half-hearted attempt at getting him to back off. But Momoshiro stays put, and leans most of his weight on Kaidoh, slowing the both of them down from walking.
“But I won, that means you need to do something nice for me.” Momoshiro continues to lean most of his weight on Kaidoh, and even presses his head up against his shoulder.
“Since when the hell did we agree to that?” Kaidoh sneers, and once more tries to push Momoshiro away.
“Hmm, now?” Momoshiro chuckles.
This doesn’t bode well with Kaidoh, who finally ducks away from Momoshiro’s advances, causing him to almost fall flat on his face into the patch of grass they’re walking on. He mumbles a curse word under his breath, before he rids himself of his bag, and decides to jump on Kaidoh’s back, yelling out, “Gotcha!” They both go tumbling down the small little hill they were on, until they come to a stop, but certainly didn’t cause an end to their tussle. Kaidoh crawls on top of Momoshiro, his hands burying themselves in Momoshiro’s shirt, and he hisses at him for being an idiot, probably. Momoshiro simply laughs and throws Kaidoh off of him, so they lay side by side instead, staring up at the mildly clouded orange sky.
Momoshiro takes in a deep breath. “I don’t want to move an inch,” he says.
“You’re going to have to eventually,” Kaidoh says.
The sudden breeze washing over him feels pleasant and relaxing, so Momoshiro closes his eyes to enjoy it. Now this is how summer vacation should be spend; lounging around in the afterglow of the sunset after winning a good tennis match. And maybe throw a little fighting in there, too. He spreads out his arms, feeling grass stroke along his skin, until his hand touches the back of Kaidoh’s knuckles, and he pulls back a little. He opens his eyes to the sky, and seeing Kaidoh stare at him in the corner of his eyes, he turns his head as well.
He wants to laugh and make a joke-something about taking a picture so it’ll last longer-but his words die on his lips the moment his eyes connect with Kaidoh’s. His chest tightens up, and that same rush from before flows through his entire body, even to his toes. Momoshiro blinks, wondering if it’s just the cozy atmosphere of the sunset that’s making him feel this odd. But no matter how many times he blinks, Kaidoh’s still there, staring at him through the blades of the green grass, his gaze strong and unwavering, like he’s holding a staring contest. It’s like that one time, when Kaidoh was on top of him, and also creepily staring at him like this, and Momoshiro can’t bear to look away. He notices all these little details, like how Kaidoh’s eyelashes are pretty long and thick, and how his right eye’s eyelid is actually a little more arched than his left’s, or how his cheeks are a blotchy red.
Momoshiro slowly raises his hand, lightly brushing up against the fabric of Kaidoh’s shirt, until his fingertips reach out to touch Kaidoh’s chin. Kaidoh breathes out a shaky breath, but doesn’t do anything, letting Momoshiro touch his chin without any repercussions. Momoshiro feels a slight stubble; he probably hasn’t shaved yet today. Kaidoh blinks slowly, but doesn’t sever their eye contact, like he’s trying to prove something. Momoshiro smiles at him as his fingers move up to touch Kaidoh’s warm and red cheek.
“Stupid,” he says with an amused chuckle. “I told you I had sunscreen with me.” Now Kaidoh’s got to live with sunburned cheeks.
Kaidoh suddenly grasps Momoshiro’s hand with his own, but doesn’t tear it off like Momoshiro expected him to. Instead he keeps both of their hands pressed against his cheek, an odd kind of behavior that Momoshiro isn’t familiar with yet. It catches him off guard, so he doesn’t know what to do, instead feels like something is bubbling over inside of him, like a soda can that was shaken too hard. This is weird, what’s Kaidoh trying to do here? Usually Kaidoh is easy to understand, but this leaves Momoshiro pretty flabbergasted; he’s never actually been gentle like this. And that is scaring Momoshiro a little.
Momoshiro slightly starts to pull his hand out of Kaidoh’s grasp, but then realizes he’s not actually moving his hand; it’s Kaidoh who is moving closer. Close enough until they’re nose to nose, and Momoshiro has no time to react at all when Kaidoh presses his mouth on his. Momoshiro hears an alarm ring in his brain, and in a lightning fast reaction, slams his hands into Kaidoh’s chest to shove him away from him. He immediately starts rubbing at his lips and stares at Kaidoh accusingly. His insides feel like they’ve been twisted into a tight knot.
“What the hell, Kaidoh!” Momoshiro yells. His heart is beating a thousand miles per second, and he’s overwhelmed by this weirdest sensation that’s making all of his muscles freeze up in place.
Kaidoh blinks, once, twice-and then he scrambles up with a hiss, reaching for his bag and quickly skittering away with his head hung low.
“Oi!” Momoshiro calls after him, sitting up straight. “Kaidoh!” he tries one last time.
But Kaidoh’s gone, run off to who knows where, leaving Momoshiro alone to question what the fuck just happened.
oOo
Summer vacation might as well have been renamed to Vacation from Hell. That’s what it feels like to Momoshiro.
Ever since his match against Kaidoh, he’s been trying to get in touch with him for a while now. Calling his cellphone, leaving behind text messages-but they never get answered. Kaidoh is officially avoiding him. But that can’t last for too long, Momoshiro thinks. They live in the same dorm room after all, Kaidoh will have to acknowledge him in some way when they get back, however awkward that might be.
Momoshiro wants to know what the hell was going through his mind that he thought it was a great idea to kiss him completely out of the blue. Who the hell goes around kissing people? In fact, he pretty much thought Kaidoh was allergic to any kind of physical touching, much less do it on his own, and with Momoshiro of all people. Why him? Why do it? These questions plague Momoshiro day and night. He thinks about it almost constantly, and when he’s in bed at night, he thinks about it even more. Wondering what caused Kaidoh to do this, and if there were any warning signs Momoshiro was missing. Did Kaidoh always act this weird? Is it a one-time thing only?
The more he thinks about it, the less he can pin it down on any one occasion that makes him think Kaidoh acted weird. It’s sort of just been a gradual change, so gradual Momoshiro didn’t see the change in Kaidoh. But now that he thinks about it, they certainly didn’t act this way around each other when they met up again in the beginning of the school year. There were differences from now and then. Subtle, but there.
His rules, the rules he came up with so abruptly, were broken on many occasions. But all within good reason, at least that’s what Momoshiro thinks; each time there was a reasonable explanation why one rule was bent and then broken completely. And it’s because of that, that Momoshiro didn’t really pay attention to it. It can’t be helped, that’s what he thought at the time. But he wonders if Kaidoh broke the rules on purpose, and if so, then why? Why would he want to?
Momoshiro doesn’t know. Momoshiro is confused and frustrated, and he wishes Kaidoh would stop avoiding him and talk to him like a man.
Momoshiro concludes that all that messing around they did, got Kaidoh all confused and messed up with what’s allowed and what wasn’t. Maybe he was lonely too, and since he’s never really shared the company of a woman, maybe he was using Momoshiro as a substitute. Since he’s probably never kissed anyone, Kaidoh might have thought it was a good idea to do it with Momoshiro instead. They were already jerking off, so why not kiss.
Momoshiro huffs. He’ll tell him why; because it was a rule! No touchy! Especially no kissing!
He continues to fume and think about this for the rest of the vacation, until it’s time to go back to his dorm.
It’s about time Kaidoh stops running away. He’s damn good at it, being in the track and field club after all, but it has to end sometime, and that finish line is at their dorm room. Kaidoh has to come, he can’t avoid Momoshiro forever.
But even on their first day back at college, Momoshiro doesn’t see Kaidoh at all. He stays up till 2 AM, trying to stay awake until he sees Kaidoh return to their room, but then falls asleep from boredom. When he wakes up, he sees Kaidoh’s bag at his bed-so the bastard snuck in at night anyway. Momoshiro is angry that he came in so late, and then still managed to get away before he woke up. What is he, a monster? Even Kaidoh needs sleep.
At least, he thinks so. He can never tell with that guy.
Throughout his day, Momoshiro is on high alert, his heart thumping wildly in his chest the moment he sees someone wear headgear, but disappointed when he realizes it’s not Kaidoh. At practice, he’s distracted, and he keeps waiting for the track and field club to make their rounds, and when they do, he doesn’t spot Kaidoh between them at all. It’s infuriating. Where is that stupid snake!? Is he going to avoid Momoshiro forever? Well that certainly sounds very depressing ...
Momoshiro decides to skip his own practice, and stake Kaidoh out at his club. No matter what happened, Kaidoh follows his training schedule like it’s a religion, no way would he really skip it. So like a creepy stalker, Momoshiro hides himself behind the large school building, watching everyone jump hurdles. He tries to spot Kaidoh, but finds no one wearing a bandana. But then he sees it: separated from the crowd like a black sheep, Kaidoh is doing sit-ups in a patch of grass, hidden in the shadows of a big tree. Momoshiro feels himself swell up with anger, and it takes a lot of self control to not march up to Kaidoh right this instance, and demand some answers out of him. No, he’s smarter than that. He’ll wait until he can cut Kaidoh off from the rest and get the both of them alone.
This means Momoshiro has to stay there for a boring one hour-he really needs to pee-until the club finally disbands practice. Kaidoh however, stays behind. He’s probably going to train more like always. What an ass. But at least this gives him a chance to confront him. Momoshiro waits until the field is empty and everyone has left, only Kaidoh is left still, this time using a jump rope (does he ever stop to take a break?). The atmosphere reminds him a lot of that day Kaidoh ran away; the sun is slowly setting in the distance, and the air is cooling down and isn’t so unbearably hot anymore. This just makes him feel even weirder about confronting Kaidoh, but he has to do it. It has to happen.
So Momoshiro sneakily creeps up to that patch of grass, being quiet and inconspicuous. When he realizes Kaidoh’s as blind as he’s an idiot, he steps out into the open, right behind Kaidoh.
“Practicing late?” Momoshiro asks as nonchalantly as possible. He crosses his arms across his chest, and waits for Kaidoh’s reaction.
He doesn’t have to wait long; Kaidoh mistimes his jump, and his foot gets entangled with the rope, causing him to trip and fall flat on his face. Momoshiro doesn’t know whether to laugh, or help him get up, or just say nothing at all. He opts for the latter.
Kaidoh frantically picks himself up and he whirls around to face Momoshiro, and as soon as he does, he starts racing away from him, like his ass has been set on fire. Momoshiro yells out Kaidoh’s name, picks up the jump rope Kaidoh left behind, and gives chase. Unfortunately, Kaidoh is still the better runner here, so it doesn’t take long for Kaidoh to leave Momoshiro behind with a safe enough distance between them. But Momoshiro is persistent, and follows Kaidoh out of the field, and towards the park next to their school instead.
“Stop running you asshole!” Momoshiro yells after him. All he can see are the soles of Kaidoh’s shoes, as he never once turns around to face him. This is getting super irritating. Can’t the guy just give up?
Soon they’re running in the park, where the trees are giving them plenty of shade, and makes it harder for Kaidoh to run in a straight line, as he has to zigzag his way through the numerous small paths. This gives Momoshiro a chance to catch up, and when he’s finally close enough, he flings the jump rope at Kaidoh’s feet like a whip. It works as he intended; it catches around Kaidoh’s ankles, and causes him to trip up. And down he goes once again. Momoshiro throws his fist up in the air as a silent victory, and quickly runs up to Kaidoh before he can get up and run away.
“Why the hell are you running away from me!?” Momoshiro demands to know. He rests his hands on his knees and takes a few large breaths to steady his breathing. Kaidoh is curled up on the ground, hugging his knees and burying his head into the dirt, as if he’s hiding. He’s doing a terrible job at that.
Momoshiro is annoyed at Kaidoh’s lack of response, and nudges him in the side with his foot. Kaidoh simply whimpers.
“D-don’t look at me,” Kaidoh says nervously.
“Huh?” Momoshiro circles around Kaidoh until he’s in front of him, staring down at his curled up body. “What are you doing? Get up.” Kaidoh doesn’t budge. Momoshiro bends down to face him instead, and reaches out for his wrist to get him up. As soon as his fingers touch Kaidoh’s skin, Kaidoh yanks it back as if he’s been burned, and he finally sits up straight.
“Don’t!” Kaidoh cries out. Then he hides his face with both his arms, refusing to look straight at Momoshiro. “I told you not to look at me!”
“Jesus Kaidoh, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Momoshiro asks, annoyed and frustrated at this entire thing. He tilts his head a bit to the left so he can try to sneak a peek at Kaidoh’s face, which he’s so desperately trying to hide. In this low lighting of the sunset and all the shade from the trees, it’s hard to make out what he looks like anyway, so Momoshiro isn’t sure why he’s panicking over having his face shown. Did he get an awful scar or something?
“Just leave me alone,” Kaidoh hisses out. “Go away.”
“What, so you can ignore me again? Don’t think so. Why don’t you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me, huh?” Momoshiro cranes his neck around this time, but Kaidoh is equally as observant, and immediately shields his face again with his hands and arms. Kaidoh refuses to say anything though, so this is pissing him off even more. “You’re not even going to talk to me now? Fucking asshole, I’m going to kick your ass.” Momoshiro leans forward and manages to grab one of Kaidoh’s wrists, this time having a firm grip on it. Kaidoh yelps as soon as he’s captured and tries to break free, but Momoshiro pulls it away from his face.
“Let go!” Kaidoh yells desperately. “Can’t you just fucking leave me alone!?”
Now he knows why Kaidoh was so desperate to hide his face. It’s beet red. At first Momoshiro thinks it’s a rash, a real nasty rash he’s gotten from his sunburn-but then he realizes that the shade of red is turning darker, and it’s spreading across his cheeks onto his neck and ears. That’s not a rash, that’s a fully fledged blush. The realization that Kaidoh is actually blushing till the roots of his hair right in front of him, makes Momoshiro squirm and feel embarrassed too. It’s contagious.
“Why are you ...” So red? But instead, Momoshiro asks, “Why did you do that?” Putting a lot of emphasis on ‘that’. He doesn’t let Kaidoh’s wrist go, in fear of him running off again. He’s still desperately trying to cover up his face, mostly by turning it away from Momoshiro.
“I didn’t do anything,” Kaidoh grumbles. He tries to yank his wrist back, which causes a small tug-a-war between them, as Momoshiro still refused to let go.
“Yeah, and you’re totally looking at me right now, huh,” Momoshiro says sarcastically. “Don’t avoid the subject. You’ve done enough avoiding already, and it’s pissing me off.”
“Nothing happened, there’s nothing to avoid,” Kaidoh says with a low growl.
“And now you’re denying it? What the hell Kaidoh. Stop it already. You’re being an annoying douchebag.” Momoshiro shakes Kaidoh’s wrist and pulls him closer, wanting to look him in the eye. He doesn’t want to look at Kaidoh the coward.
“It was a mistake,” Kaidoh says. “So drop it and let me go!”
And this time, Momoshiro does let Kaidoh go, perplexed at Kaidoh’s statement. “A mistake?” he echoes.
Kaidoh backs away from him, hugging his wrist to his chest and quickly standing up straight, then turning his back on Momoshiro. For a second, Momoshiro thinks he’s going to run away again, but Kaidoh stays put this time. Though his legs are shaking.
“It was nothing,” Kaidoh bites out. “Forget about it.”
“I can’t,” Momoshiro admits. He hasn’t stopped thinking about it once. What it all meant. Why Kaidoh did it. Why he avoided him straightly afterwards. And more importantly, why Momoshiro wasn’t vomiting in disgust right afterwards. No, instead he tried to talk to Kaidoh to find out why he did it, why this all happened.
“Don’t ...” Kaidoh sighs. “Say things like that. I’ll ...” he trails off, not saying anything else.
“You’ll what?” Momoshiro asks. He’ll what exactly?
“Nothing,” he says in a louder voice. He straightens up his back, and gets ready to run. “I’m going.”
As a pure reflex, Momoshiro throws himself at Kaidoh, hoping to grab some kind of body part to prevent him from leaving again. He ends up digging his fists into Kaidoh’s shirt and yanking him back. “No! Tell me why you’re avoiding it! Why did you do it!?” Momoshiro sounds desperate and needy-he really wants to have some answers. He can see Kaidoh’s fists balling up until his knuckles turn white, and he’s keeping them restrained at his hips, like he’s about to punch himself. He doesn’t say anything though, so Momoshiro continues. “Why won’t you even look at me?” and this time, there an edge to Momoshiro’s voice. Like it isn’t just annoying that Kaidoh won’t look at him, but that it’s actually a bit hurtful as well.
“Because!” Kaidoh suddenly yells out. “Because ...” he repeats in a softer voice. “When I look at you I ...”
Momoshiro starts to lean in closer, the grip on Kaidoh’s shirt slipping off, as his ears are perked up to listen o what Kaidoh has to say. “You what?” He tugs on his shirt. “You what, Kaidoh?”
Kaidoh hisses. “Nothing. Nevermind. Forget about it.”
Having enough of Kaidoh avoiding the question, Momoshiro jabs his elbow into Kaidoh’s back, causing him to groan out loud in pain. Then he quickly circles around Kaidoh’s body and places both his hands on his shoulders, standing directly in front of him.
“Why can’t you look at me?” Momoshiro asks. He looks right at Kaidoh, ignoring his massive blush that keeps changing colours, but instead staring at his eyes. Those eyes that won’t look at him. He wants to scream; look at me! Why is it so important for Kaidoh to look at him all of the sudden?
“I hate you ...” Kaidoh grits out. “I really do.” And yet all of his body language indicates the opposite. He doesn’t hate Momoshiro at all.
“I just ... want to know.” Momoshiro moves his hands away from Kaidoh’s shoulders, and trails it up his neck until he cups both of Kaidoh’s cheeks, and forces him to turn his head to face him. His eyes are still not looking at him though, instead are casted down his shirt instead. “Why?”
“You are such a clueless idiot,” Kaidoh groans out. “It’s all your fault! If you hadn’t fallen asleep that one time, I could have been just fine without you!”
“Huh, what are you talking about?” Also, what does Kaidoh mean with he’d be fine without him? Does that mean he isn’t fine without him right now? That ludicrous thought makes his chest all jumbled and tight. “Are you still hung up about that? Geez, I already said I was sorry! What more do you want from me!?”
“You really don’t remember, do you,” Kaidoh says. He sounds tired, like he’s been holding in a secret all this time, and it’s finally coming out.
“Remember what?”
Kaidoh slowly hisses, his breath making Momoshiro feel even more nauseous than he already is from this whole ordeal. “You ... fell asleep like a dumb oaf.”
“Yeah, so fucking what?” Momoshiro bites back.
“Fell asleep ... on me,” Kaidoh says awkwardly.
Momoshiro frowns; okay so he fell asleep and slumped up against Kaidoh. So what. Why does this matter? He’s definitely missing something here, because surely Kaidoh can’t be pissed off about that. “... And?” Momoshiro asks, wondering if that’s something Kaidoh still isn’t telling him.
Kaidoh grunts, snarling at Momoshiro with his lips. He tries to shake Momoshiro’s hands off his face, but to no avail. “You stupid moron. It doesn’t matter. Forget it. Let me go so we can go back home.”
Deeply frustrated with getting Kaidoh to talk, and only getting little bits of information each time, but not enough to get the whole picture, something inside of Momoshiro snaps. Probably his rationale. Because for some reason, he’s pulling Kaidoh’s face closer to his own, so he can smash their lips together. It’s Kaidoh who backs away lightning fast this time, Momoshiro’s hands slipping away from his cheeks, and Kaidoh’s eyes are wide open and finally looking at him.
“What the hell, Momoshiro?” Kaidoh looks confused and angry. The exact same look Momoshiro had when Kaidoh did this time him last time.
Momoshiro himself has no idea what possessed him to do it either. It’s not like he wanted to. It’s not like he’s ever thought about it. It’s not like he’s ever had the urge to do it either. So why do it? He has no idea. “That’s what you did to me, then you ran off. I want to know why you did it.”
With Kaidoh’s eyes finally looking at him again, he sees a hundred different emotions flash before him. Anger, confusion are the most prominent ones, but he also sees hurt, longing and embarrassment. Kaidoh’s eyes have never told him this much, but now that he’s staring right at Momoshiro again, Momoshiro feels like he’s staring straight into Kaidoh’s soul. Like he can see everything that’s written on Kaidoh’s face. All of his fears and all of his wants. And those desires are being reflected back to him. He can see his own reflection in Kaidoh’s eyes-Momoshiro is bearing the same expressions as Kaidoh is. It confounds him, absolutely confuses him to no end, but he doesn’t look away. Doesn’t want to anymore. He just wants to know; why?
“I mis ... misunderstood,” Kaidoh says with a strained voice. “I thought you ...”
As Kaidoh talks, Momoshiro can see how his lips quiver, how his eyebrows melt together in a permanent frown, and how his eyes are unwavering and look like pools of dark water. It makes Momoshiro’s knees feel weak. His entire body feels weak. Maybe he should have taken Kaidoh’s advice after all, and worked out so he’s not so weak anymore.
“Thought what?” he asks, and takes a small step closer, shortening the distance between both of their bodies. He’s hanging onto each word Kaidoh says as if it’s his last lifeline.
“You ...” Kaidoh presses his lips into a thin line, like he’s unsure if he should say what’s about to come next. “Wanted to ... too ...” he finally says with a shaky breath.
Momoshiro blinks up at him. “Me?” Wanted to kiss Kaidoh? “What, how did you get that idea-wait, too?”
Kaidoh firmly snaps his mouth shut and says nothing, simply staring into Momoshiro’s eyes.
And now Momoshiro knows why they never looked at each other as they did it. Why they were always avoiding each other’s eyes like this. Because like this, just looking at Kaidoh right now, it’s like all of his fears came true.
As long as they don’t look at each other, then it can stay platonic.
As long as they won’t touch each other more, then they can pretend they don’t want it.
As long as they stay clothed, then it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not important.
But it is. All of it has been. All of it had escalated, and their eyes are betraying them. No matter how hard Momoshiro’s brain tries to convince him that this is not real, this is not true, and that he doesn’t feel like this at all, it’s hard to deny when he’s in front of Kaidoh like this. Looking at him. His entire body suddenly wants nothing more than to look at Kaidoh, than to touch him, than to feel skin on skin-his heart is loudly thumping in agreement.
Kaidoh’s long saw what Momoshiro has tried very hard to ignore, or to acknowledge it even existed. That this has become something else. Something that wasn’t there before. It wasn’t a drastic change or anything, it was subtle and slow. And now that Momoshiro is thinking about it clearly, it doesn’t come to him as a sudden realization. It just makes sense all of the sudden, like puzzle pieces falling into place. Like he finally understands. And apparently, Kaidoh has known about this much longer than he has.
Then again, Kaidoh’s always been the person that understood him the most. He’s always known things about Momoshiro that he didn’t even know himself.
Kaidoh shifts awkwardly under Momoshiro’s strong gaze. “I said forget about it. Doesn’t matter. It was a mistake, yeah. A stupid one.”
Momoshiro snaps out of his daze and glares at Kaidoh. “You’re the stupid one,” he fires back.
“Asshole, why don’t you go jump off a bridge and leave me alone already.”
“I’ll only jump if you’ll jump.”
“Then you’ll be waiting for an eternity. I’ll just push you off, okay?”
“I’ll drag you down with me.”
“Even when you’re plummeting to your death you’re still an asshole.”
“At least I don’t regret any of my mistakes,” says Momoshiro. His heart leaps against his chest painfully.
“Your entire life has been a mistake,” Kaidoh grunts.
Momoshiro bites down on his lip and he’s tempted to just punch Kaidoh in the face and leave him behind. “Watch your mouth Mamushi.”
“Or what?” Kaidoh challenges him.
“Or this time, it won’t be a mistake.”
“Huh?” Kaidoh says lamely. “What are you talking about?”
“Hey, let’s go back to our room already. I mean, aren’t you scared of hanging out here in the dark, with all these creepy shadows that look like grabbing hands all around us?”
Kaidoh yelps and suddenly looks down frantically at the ground, as if he’s spotted a mouse. That deep red colour quickly drains from his face, leaving him looking pale. “Y-yeah, okay,” he stutters. Kaidoh creeps closer to Momoshiro, it’s pretty obvious he’s gotten acutely aware of his surroundings all of the sudden.
“Oh, and one last thing, Kaidoh.”
After whipping his head left and right to spot any lurking dangers in the shadows, Kaidoh looks back at Momoshiro. “What?”
“When we get back, you better suck me off this time.”
And just like that, the colour is back in Kaidoh’s face again. “Asshole, I told you that’s not what mouths are for!”
Momoshiro snickers. Kaidoh might think their mouths are for eating and talking, but Momoshiro knows two other things they can do with it.
Chapter 2
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Momoshiro/Kaidoh
Rating: MA
Word count: 58k
Chapters: 1 (part 1) | 1 (part 2) | 2 (part 1) | 2 (part 2) | 2 (part 3) | 2 (part 4)
Summary: They don’t look each other in the eye when they do it.
A/N: Part 2
“I’m gonna ...” Momoshiro inhales sharply. “Have a match playing soon.”
Kaidoh ignores Momoshiro’s attempt at starting a conversation as they’re hastily jerking each other off behind the clubhouse.
“Want you to come,” Momoshiro sighs.
“Huh?” Kaidoh’s movements slow down as he looks up at Momoshiro. “Now?” he asks, confused.
Momoshiro growls at him, forcefully shoving his hips into him. “Idiot, I’m talking about my match.”
Kaidoh pushes himself into Momoshiro’s body as well, hisses right into his ear. “Shut up already.” He buries his face into the crook of Momoshiro’s neck. It’s sending pleasant tingles down Momoshiro’s neck.
“But it’s going to be in two da-hmpf.” Kaidoh’s hand is suddenly covering Momoshiro’s mouth, stifling his voice. He jerks him off even harder, in a faster pace that’s almost painful, to show he means business, and doesn’t want to talk. Well. Fine. But it’s almost impossible to find time to talk to Kaidoh when most of the time he’s out running or lifting weights, or whatever, and the time they do manage to find, it ends up like this.
It’s gotten rather annoying. And it makes their jerk-off sessions quick and abrupt, and that sort of leaves Momoshiro a bit unsatisfied and cranky. He actually enjoys taking his time, and not feeling like he’s on the clock.
Annoyed with Kaidoh’s hand still covering his mouth, Momoshiro opens his mouth and bites down on Kaidoh’s index finger. Kaidoh grunts, and his hand slips away from his mouth, then lightly scratches Momoshiro’s cheek in revenge. Momoshiro’s response is to wrap an arm around Kaidoh’s back, and scrape his fingernails down his spine. Asshole. He can scratch too. Each retaliation simply escalates their roughhousing with each other, and now they’re both stroking and scratching the other. The combined forces of his usual fighting with Kaidoh and his hot hand going up and down, makes Momoshiro orgasm quite easily.
At least they started carrying tissues with them this time.
oOo
“You came.”
Momoshiro jogs up to Kaidoh, a smile spreading on his face. His heart is still pounding from the match he played twenty minutes ago. It was a good match, an awesome match, and he won. His entire team won. He’s supposed to meet up with his teammates to celebrate and get drunk, but when he sees Kaidoh leaning against the building, he makes a mental note to apologize to his team for not coming.
“Well, you asked me to,” says Kaidoh with a grunt. He sticks his hands into the pockets of his shorts and stares down at the concrete, like he doesn’t quite know what to do.
“Did you watch the whole thing?” Momoshiro asks excitedly. All those nervous and jumpy jitters are still fluttering around in his stomach, it’s simply amplified when he sees Kaidoh.
“Yeah.” Kaidoh slouches his shoulders. “You uhh, did well. Or something.” His voice sounds completely unenthusiastic, and even his body posture is stiff and emotionless.
Momoshiro grins and then socks him one in the shoulder before he stands next to Kaidoh and leans against the wall as well. “I did awesome, you mean,” says Momoshiro. “I kicked his ass. They should crown me captain for that match.”
Kaidoh snorts. “Keep dreaming.”
Momoshiro pushes his shoulder into Kaidoh’s. “Hey, I totally could be. Maybe in a year, since I’m such a prodigy in tennis.”
“More like a flailing idiot.”
“I resent that!”
Kaidoh’s lips curl up slightly, and he exhales an amused and muffled chuckle. It makes Momoshiro grin even wider; this day just can’t get any better. Well, it could have gotten better. He could have been playing doubles with Kaidoh instead. Yeah, that would have been really nice.
“Too bad I play singles now,” says Momoshiro, his smile faltering. Kaidoh says nothing. “I miss playing with you.”
Kaidoh flinches back a bit. “A-asshole, don’t say weird stuff like that.” He composes himself and clears his throat. “I’m in the track and field club right now,” he explains in this completely unemotional voice. And then, he lowers his head. “But uhh ... that doesn’t mean we can’t play any matches against each other ...”
Momoshiro’s heart flutters around in his ribcage. A match with Kaidoh? It’s been years! “Really?” he asks, completely caught off guard at the offer.
“Only if I have time,” Kaidoh grunts.
And the fluttery feeling in his chest quiets down. Time. They don’t have much of that anymore. “Oh,” says Momoshiro, feeling dejected. “Like ... when?”
“I don’t know.” Kaidoh kicks his shoe at the concrete, like he’s impatient. “When I don’t have training.”
“But you always have training,” Momoshiro whines. That just isn’t fair! What’s the point of even offering a match if Kaidoh’s got absolutely no free time himself? The small bits of time they do manage to find, they’re busy humping each other, and even that leaves Momoshiro restless most of the time.
They stay silent for what seems like forever, simply next to each other, mulling over their own thoughts. Surprisingly, it’s Kaidoh who breaks the silence.
“Summer vacation,” he says.
“Huh?”
“We can play then.”
“Oh right ... hadn’t thought of that. It’s like next month, too.” Momoshiro tries to remember if he made any plans for his summer vacation, but can’t really remember any. He would have probably just went back home to visit his parents, and that’s it. “Don’t you have any plans then?”
Kaidoh hisses. “Well I’m making them now, dumbass.”
Momoshiro chuckles. “Alright then. Summer vacation it is. How about we go do some other stuff as well?” Like rent a room in a love hotel and get Kaidoh to use his lips.
Kaidoh turns his head to look at Momoshiro, who stares back at him. There’s that weird tingly sensation crawling on his skin again whenever he looks Kaidoh in the eye. “Okay,” says Kaidoh.
And that’s how their summer vacation plans were made.
oOo
In the month leading up to their summer vacation, things got a little bit heated. By that, Momoshiro means the air got really hot in their room. They don’t have an airco in their room, so it’s hell after coming back from training, and sweating like crazy from the heat. Momoshiro opts to just strut around in his boxer shorts all the time-no way is he wearing anything that resembles a shirt or pants in this heat.
“Do you really need to shun all of your clothes?” Kaidoh asks in an irritated voice. He points at Momoshiro, who is sitting on his own bed, fanning his face with a fan he bought at some local tourist shop. He’s showing off as much skin as possible to maximize the effect of the wind coming from his fan to cool down his body.
“Yes,” Momoshiro answers honestly. “It’s fucking hot in here. What else do you want me to do?”
“Wear clothes.”
“It’s too hot for that!” He fans himself even faster, a little agitated now. It’s not good to fight when he’s sweaty all over. It takes too much effort. “Besides, look at what you’re wearing yourself.”
“I’m wearing clothes,” says Kaidoh with a sneer.
“Stupid tight tank top with super short shorts. You might as well just strip naked while you’re at it-and you’re like this throughout the year no matter what temperature it is outside!”
“That’s because I don’t sweat like a monkey like you.”
“I don’t sweat like a-wait, monkeys can sweat?” Momoshiro stops his fan as he contemplates this very serious question.
“Idiot. They’re mammals. Of course they sweat.” Kaidoh rolls his eyes.
“Yeah well, I’m no monkey.”
“A sweaty pig, then.”
Thunk, is the sound the fan makes as it hits Kaidoh’s head. He lets out a battle roar and dives straight for Momoshiro’s neck, and they end up wrestling each other on his bed. It’s sweaty and sticky, and really rather tiring to do this, so Momoshiro soon gives up trying to do anything at all, and lets Kaidoh simply pin him down on the mattress, straddling his hips. One hand is pressed down onto his bare chest, to prevent him from moving much-not like Momoshiro would move in the first place. But Kaidoh’s hand does feel rather cool to the touch, so he doesn’t complain.
“It’s too hot to fight, Mamushi,” Momoshiro says with a sigh.
Kaidoh says nothing, but instead is eerily fixated on his own hand. Or maybe he’s staring at Momoshiro’s chest. Maybe he’s coming up with another insult to fling at him because of how much he’s sweating.
“What?” he asks, frowning up at Kaidoh.
Kaidoh pulls back a little, blinking his eyes and removing his gaze from Momoshiro’s chest. “Then don’t start a fight, dumbass,” he says.
“Yeah, well, don’t call me a pig.”
“But you are one,” says Kaidoh with a snort.
“Hey! I haven’t asked you to blow me again after that one time, so shut up. I’m not a pig.”
The hand on Momoshiro’s chest stiffens up, and he can see Kaidoh’s eyes widen slightly in response. “What the hell does that have to do with anything? You’re disgusting.”
“Disgusting like a pig?” Momoshiro mocks.
“Yes!”
“Fuck you. There’s nothing disgusting about it. Well, maybe it is just a little, because it would be super sweaty, and that’s gross, and I can’t imagine you’d taste like rainbows and sunshine either. Eww. Nasty stuff.”
Kaidoh merely stares down at Momoshiro, his expression unreadable, except for the slight hue of red tainting his cheeks. It might be because it’s hot, or maybe because he’s too embarrassed to talk about this. Then again, he doesn’t seem to want to get off Momoshiro, so maybe he’s not embarrassed after all. He leans back and removes his hand, sitting up straight on top of Momoshiro.
“You ... really want to?” he asks in a hesitant voice, like he’s carefully treading the waters.
Well, that serious question certainly caught Momoshiro off guard, because he certainly didn’t expect Kaidoh to give it any thought whatsoever, much less ask him if he wants to do it for real. A mix of shock, confusion, and curiosity flashes across Momoshiro’s face, before it settles on determination. “Yeah,” he chokes out, his throat feeling dry like he’s been doing nothing but swallowing sand in this heat.
Kaidoh’s gaze goes down again, staring at his own hand, and that makes something hopeful well up inside of Momoshiro. Is he seriously considering this? He’s actually got a shot at this? Kaidoh might actually suck him off after all? Just the thought of that is enough to give him a stiffy (like he wasn’t already half hard from their tussle before). And that’s just enough for Kaidoh to notice, because he whips his head around and then glares at Momoshiro with this indignant expression on his face, before he pushes himself away completely.
“I’m not doing it,” Kaidoh says with a huff.
Momoshiro groans out loud-he almost convinced Kaidoh to do it! Ugh. Fine. Maybe he can try again on a later date, but right now, something needs to be done with that persistent problem in his underwear.
“Whatever-at least do something about this, then,” says Momoshiro and he points his finger at his erection creating a bulge in his shorts.
Kaidoh simply hisses at Momoshiro, before he knocks him in the head with his own fan.
oOo
Summer vacation lasts for two weeks, and that is too long for Momoshiro. Too long without Kaidoh, the convenient handjob machine. He’ll have to make do with his own right hand, but he’s certainly not looking forward to it. Which is why, the day before the vacation starts, he made sure to set aside some time to have a nice long jerk off session with Kaidoh.
And it seems Kaidoh was thinking the same, because he actually had some free time that day. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on Momoshiro’s part, but either way, they were both free, and they were both eager. Or again, maybe that’s wishful thinking. Momoshiro is always eager, he’s not quite sure what Kaidoh thinks about the whole thing, but if he didn’t like it, he’d have kicked Momoshiro in the balls a long time ago and then never talked to him again. And considering that didn’t happen (well, maybe once), it’s safe to say, maybe Kaidoh is eager too.
So their last jerk off session before summer vacation started was a bit weird. It was much longer than the other quickies they’ve been feeding off on for weeks now. It was slow and careful, and definitely planned. Despite Momoshiro’s rule to leave their clothes on, it wasn’t like he had much of a choice in this heat. Even Kaidoh couldn’t handle it anymore once they started going at it, going from light teasing strokes, to a much more persistent rhythm. So he took off his shirt as well, and this time, Momoshiro didn’t question it. He didn’t even question it when Kaidoh’s hand was suddenly on his shoulder again-something he’s done plenty of other times before. He still didn’t question it when his grip became softer and less of a means of support, and more about trailing it down his biceps, and then back up again. Even when Kaidoh’s head was buried in his neck, making these little gasping sounds, Momoshiro didn’t question it.
Momoshiro’s mind was in too much of a haze to comprehend what exactly Kaidoh was doing. All he knew was that he was feeling good, and Kaidoh was feeling good, so that’s all that mattered.
In the end, it was hard to notice the distance Kaidoh had crossed between them, how many rules he had broken. Momoshiro just wanted to get one last handjob from him before summer vacation, so he forgave Kaidoh’s weird behavior. Maybe that was Kaidoh’s way of showing he was going to miss this, too. Maybe.
And that’s how he ended up spending the rest of summer vacation back at his home, along with his parents and siblings.
It’s sort of a nightmare.
He’d forgotten how much freedom college has given him, with his parents not knowing what he did. But now they do, and they won’t stop questioning him about how school is going, and if he made new friends, and if he’s gotten a girlfriend. Momoshiro feels like he’s being interrogated. He keeps his mouth shut about Kaidoh, simply referring him as his ‘roommate’, because that’s all Kaidoh is to him. A roommate. And occasionally his jerk-off-buddy. Is this what they call being friends with benefits? Momoshiro doesn’t know, and he doesn’t like putting labels on it, so he tries to avoid any conversation about Kaidoh the jerk-off-buddy.
The worst thing of all, of course, is the fact that he has to do without Kaidoh. He spends a lot of lonely nights with his right hand, and it never satisfies him. Even when he tries to fantasize about Kaidoh giving him a blowjob; it doesn’t do much. It still leaves him wanting the real thing.
And it’s hard to admit, but Momoshiro actually misses him. Yes, he most certainly misses their fun times together, but also misses him in general. They’ve been with each other every day since the start of college, so it’s weird not to have him around, or see him lifting his dumbbells, or run around campus showing off his leg muscles. He misses insulting him and getting into petty fights-it was their daily routine, and Momoshiro feels like he’s unable to properly unwind after each day because he couldn’t throw an insult at Kaidoh’s head.
He tries to remedy this weird sense of loneliness by sending a bunch of text messages to Kaidoh. Calling him a dickhead, or a snake, or a stupid training freak, and sometimes telling him about how annoying his sister has become since he left. Sometimes he’d be nice and ask him how his vacation was going. Kaidoh doesn’t ever answer any his texts of course, something which really pisses Momoshiro off, but doesn’t discourage him from sending another text in the least. The only time he does get a reply, is when Momoshiro asks him if they’re still going to have their tennis match tomorrow. To which he replied with a simple ‘yes’. So at least he’s alive still.
What a dick, doesn’t even have the courtesy to reply to all of his other texts. Momoshiro will punch him extra hard when he sees him tomorrow.
He goes to bed feeling butterflies swarm in his stomach; he can’t wait to play against Kaidoh again.
oOo
It’s been ten days since he last saw Kaidoh. Ten miserable days. Momoshiro is sitting down on the steps of the stairs leading to the tennis court. It’s a nice sunny day, a bit too hot still for his tastes, but tolerable. No one else but him is there, which is fine, that means they’re alone at least. Despite his need for always showing off in front of an audience, Momoshiro would like to keep this just between them. He doesn’t want to share this moment with anyone else.
When Kaidoh is five minutes late, Momoshiro angrily punches down the keys on his cellphone to send him a text message. What’s holding him up, huh? And right when he sends the text message, something hits him in the back of his head.
“What the hell-” Momoshiro looks over his shoulder to see what hit him, and sees Kaidoh walking past him with his bag in tow. “Kaidoh!” he says eagerly, completely forgetting he hit him right now. Then he remembers he’s late. “What took you so long, jerk.”
“Let’s just play,” says Kaidoh. He puts his gear onto the ground and unzips his bag, taking out his racket.
Momoshiro stays put on the stairs, narrowing his eyes at Kaidoh and wondering if he changed something about his appearance; he looks a bit different than normal. “Yo, Mamushi, got a sunburn or something?” Momoshiro smirks. “Your cheeks are pretty red.”
Kaidoh points his racket at Momoshiro and growls. “Shut up dumbass, get off your fat ass and play me.”
“I’ve got some sunscreen with me if you want to use it!” Momoshiro says with a cheerful grin.
Eventually Kaidoh just throws a tennis ball at Momoshiro’s head, but luckily he catches it in time. Alright, it’s showtime.
oOo
“That ... was a great match,” Momoshiro says out of breath. He wipes his sweaty hand off on his shorts and then stretches it out over the net.
“Yeah ...” Kaidoh does the same and slides his hand into the palm of Momoshiro’s. It zaps him with a rush-probably leftover adrenaline from that awesome match they played against one another.
“Maybe if you were in the tennis club instead, you could have beaten me,” Momoshiro points out. He smirks up at Kaidoh, seeing the sun set behind him. Their match lasted over two hours, they were pretty much evenly matched.
“I just went easy on you, that’s all,” says Kaidoh, but there’s a slight smirk on his lips as well.
“Sure you did,” Momoshiro says in a mock tone. “You keep telling yourself that. If you don’t start playing tennis again soon, I’ll leave you behind.” Momoshiro squeezes Kaidoh’s hand a bit harder.
“I guess that just means we’ll have to play a few matches every now and then.” Kaidoh returns the squeeze as well, and this time, he’s smiling a little as well.
“Hah, only if you enjoy getting your ass kicked!” Momoshiro laughs.
“In your dreams, dumbass,” says Kaidoh in a playful tone.
Momoshiro feels himself being filled up with a warm liquid. Maybe it’s from the sun, maybe it’s from playing a good match, maybe it’s because Kaidoh’s joking around with him, or who knows why. What matters is that he got to play against Kaidoh again, and there might be more to come. He finally lets go of Kaidoh’s warm hand-surprisingly he’s not thinking about the way that hand feels like when it’s wrapped around his penis. Instead, he thinks it feels pleasant like this as well.
“Man, I’m beat. This was a real good work out,” says Momoshiro as he walks off the court. He stores away his racket in his bag and zips it closed, swinging it over his back. “I just wanna relax now.”
“You’re just lazy,” says Kaidoh, jogging up to him with his own bag thrown over his shoulder. “If you did a little more training, then you wouldn’t be so out of breath right now.”
“Says the person who is having trouble steadying his own breathing,” mocks Momoshiro. And it’s true, Kaidoh’s chest is heaving up and down as well, he’s just as exhausted as Momoshiro.
Kaidoh looks down at the ground as they both start to walk away from the tennis court. “I’m fine ...” he mumbles. Then he clears his throat, and says in a louder voice, “I’m fine.”
Momoshiro simply snickers and pushes his fist into Kaidoh’s shoulder. Suddenly he feels nostalgic about this entire encounter; it’s been years since they played against each other. Years since they were this tired, yet satisfied. And there was something they always did at the end of a good match ... Momoshiro holds his fist out like an invitation, with a big toothy grin on his face. Kaidoh huffs, a bit amused himself, and he pounds Momoshiro’s fist with his own. The contact makes Momoshiro feel that adrenaline again, and a whole dose of nostalgia. He chuckles at Kaidoh, and feels comfortable enough to throw an arm around him.
“I’m too tired, how about you take me home,” Momoshiro jokes.
“Take yourself home,” says Kaidoh. He pushes his shoulder into Momoshiro’s chest, a half-hearted attempt at getting him to back off. But Momoshiro stays put, and leans most of his weight on Kaidoh, slowing the both of them down from walking.
“But I won, that means you need to do something nice for me.” Momoshiro continues to lean most of his weight on Kaidoh, and even presses his head up against his shoulder.
“Since when the hell did we agree to that?” Kaidoh sneers, and once more tries to push Momoshiro away.
“Hmm, now?” Momoshiro chuckles.
This doesn’t bode well with Kaidoh, who finally ducks away from Momoshiro’s advances, causing him to almost fall flat on his face into the patch of grass they’re walking on. He mumbles a curse word under his breath, before he rids himself of his bag, and decides to jump on Kaidoh’s back, yelling out, “Gotcha!” They both go tumbling down the small little hill they were on, until they come to a stop, but certainly didn’t cause an end to their tussle. Kaidoh crawls on top of Momoshiro, his hands burying themselves in Momoshiro’s shirt, and he hisses at him for being an idiot, probably. Momoshiro simply laughs and throws Kaidoh off of him, so they lay side by side instead, staring up at the mildly clouded orange sky.
Momoshiro takes in a deep breath. “I don’t want to move an inch,” he says.
“You’re going to have to eventually,” Kaidoh says.
The sudden breeze washing over him feels pleasant and relaxing, so Momoshiro closes his eyes to enjoy it. Now this is how summer vacation should be spend; lounging around in the afterglow of the sunset after winning a good tennis match. And maybe throw a little fighting in there, too. He spreads out his arms, feeling grass stroke along his skin, until his hand touches the back of Kaidoh’s knuckles, and he pulls back a little. He opens his eyes to the sky, and seeing Kaidoh stare at him in the corner of his eyes, he turns his head as well.
He wants to laugh and make a joke-something about taking a picture so it’ll last longer-but his words die on his lips the moment his eyes connect with Kaidoh’s. His chest tightens up, and that same rush from before flows through his entire body, even to his toes. Momoshiro blinks, wondering if it’s just the cozy atmosphere of the sunset that’s making him feel this odd. But no matter how many times he blinks, Kaidoh’s still there, staring at him through the blades of the green grass, his gaze strong and unwavering, like he’s holding a staring contest. It’s like that one time, when Kaidoh was on top of him, and also creepily staring at him like this, and Momoshiro can’t bear to look away. He notices all these little details, like how Kaidoh’s eyelashes are pretty long and thick, and how his right eye’s eyelid is actually a little more arched than his left’s, or how his cheeks are a blotchy red.
Momoshiro slowly raises his hand, lightly brushing up against the fabric of Kaidoh’s shirt, until his fingertips reach out to touch Kaidoh’s chin. Kaidoh breathes out a shaky breath, but doesn’t do anything, letting Momoshiro touch his chin without any repercussions. Momoshiro feels a slight stubble; he probably hasn’t shaved yet today. Kaidoh blinks slowly, but doesn’t sever their eye contact, like he’s trying to prove something. Momoshiro smiles at him as his fingers move up to touch Kaidoh’s warm and red cheek.
“Stupid,” he says with an amused chuckle. “I told you I had sunscreen with me.” Now Kaidoh’s got to live with sunburned cheeks.
Kaidoh suddenly grasps Momoshiro’s hand with his own, but doesn’t tear it off like Momoshiro expected him to. Instead he keeps both of their hands pressed against his cheek, an odd kind of behavior that Momoshiro isn’t familiar with yet. It catches him off guard, so he doesn’t know what to do, instead feels like something is bubbling over inside of him, like a soda can that was shaken too hard. This is weird, what’s Kaidoh trying to do here? Usually Kaidoh is easy to understand, but this leaves Momoshiro pretty flabbergasted; he’s never actually been gentle like this. And that is scaring Momoshiro a little.
Momoshiro slightly starts to pull his hand out of Kaidoh’s grasp, but then realizes he’s not actually moving his hand; it’s Kaidoh who is moving closer. Close enough until they’re nose to nose, and Momoshiro has no time to react at all when Kaidoh presses his mouth on his. Momoshiro hears an alarm ring in his brain, and in a lightning fast reaction, slams his hands into Kaidoh’s chest to shove him away from him. He immediately starts rubbing at his lips and stares at Kaidoh accusingly. His insides feel like they’ve been twisted into a tight knot.
“What the hell, Kaidoh!” Momoshiro yells. His heart is beating a thousand miles per second, and he’s overwhelmed by this weirdest sensation that’s making all of his muscles freeze up in place.
Kaidoh blinks, once, twice-and then he scrambles up with a hiss, reaching for his bag and quickly skittering away with his head hung low.
“Oi!” Momoshiro calls after him, sitting up straight. “Kaidoh!” he tries one last time.
But Kaidoh’s gone, run off to who knows where, leaving Momoshiro alone to question what the fuck just happened.
oOo
Summer vacation might as well have been renamed to Vacation from Hell. That’s what it feels like to Momoshiro.
Ever since his match against Kaidoh, he’s been trying to get in touch with him for a while now. Calling his cellphone, leaving behind text messages-but they never get answered. Kaidoh is officially avoiding him. But that can’t last for too long, Momoshiro thinks. They live in the same dorm room after all, Kaidoh will have to acknowledge him in some way when they get back, however awkward that might be.
Momoshiro wants to know what the hell was going through his mind that he thought it was a great idea to kiss him completely out of the blue. Who the hell goes around kissing people? In fact, he pretty much thought Kaidoh was allergic to any kind of physical touching, much less do it on his own, and with Momoshiro of all people. Why him? Why do it? These questions plague Momoshiro day and night. He thinks about it almost constantly, and when he’s in bed at night, he thinks about it even more. Wondering what caused Kaidoh to do this, and if there were any warning signs Momoshiro was missing. Did Kaidoh always act this weird? Is it a one-time thing only?
The more he thinks about it, the less he can pin it down on any one occasion that makes him think Kaidoh acted weird. It’s sort of just been a gradual change, so gradual Momoshiro didn’t see the change in Kaidoh. But now that he thinks about it, they certainly didn’t act this way around each other when they met up again in the beginning of the school year. There were differences from now and then. Subtle, but there.
His rules, the rules he came up with so abruptly, were broken on many occasions. But all within good reason, at least that’s what Momoshiro thinks; each time there was a reasonable explanation why one rule was bent and then broken completely. And it’s because of that, that Momoshiro didn’t really pay attention to it. It can’t be helped, that’s what he thought at the time. But he wonders if Kaidoh broke the rules on purpose, and if so, then why? Why would he want to?
Momoshiro doesn’t know. Momoshiro is confused and frustrated, and he wishes Kaidoh would stop avoiding him and talk to him like a man.
Momoshiro concludes that all that messing around they did, got Kaidoh all confused and messed up with what’s allowed and what wasn’t. Maybe he was lonely too, and since he’s never really shared the company of a woman, maybe he was using Momoshiro as a substitute. Since he’s probably never kissed anyone, Kaidoh might have thought it was a good idea to do it with Momoshiro instead. They were already jerking off, so why not kiss.
Momoshiro huffs. He’ll tell him why; because it was a rule! No touchy! Especially no kissing!
He continues to fume and think about this for the rest of the vacation, until it’s time to go back to his dorm.
It’s about time Kaidoh stops running away. He’s damn good at it, being in the track and field club after all, but it has to end sometime, and that finish line is at their dorm room. Kaidoh has to come, he can’t avoid Momoshiro forever.
But even on their first day back at college, Momoshiro doesn’t see Kaidoh at all. He stays up till 2 AM, trying to stay awake until he sees Kaidoh return to their room, but then falls asleep from boredom. When he wakes up, he sees Kaidoh’s bag at his bed-so the bastard snuck in at night anyway. Momoshiro is angry that he came in so late, and then still managed to get away before he woke up. What is he, a monster? Even Kaidoh needs sleep.
At least, he thinks so. He can never tell with that guy.
Throughout his day, Momoshiro is on high alert, his heart thumping wildly in his chest the moment he sees someone wear headgear, but disappointed when he realizes it’s not Kaidoh. At practice, he’s distracted, and he keeps waiting for the track and field club to make their rounds, and when they do, he doesn’t spot Kaidoh between them at all. It’s infuriating. Where is that stupid snake!? Is he going to avoid Momoshiro forever? Well that certainly sounds very depressing ...
Momoshiro decides to skip his own practice, and stake Kaidoh out at his club. No matter what happened, Kaidoh follows his training schedule like it’s a religion, no way would he really skip it. So like a creepy stalker, Momoshiro hides himself behind the large school building, watching everyone jump hurdles. He tries to spot Kaidoh, but finds no one wearing a bandana. But then he sees it: separated from the crowd like a black sheep, Kaidoh is doing sit-ups in a patch of grass, hidden in the shadows of a big tree. Momoshiro feels himself swell up with anger, and it takes a lot of self control to not march up to Kaidoh right this instance, and demand some answers out of him. No, he’s smarter than that. He’ll wait until he can cut Kaidoh off from the rest and get the both of them alone.
This means Momoshiro has to stay there for a boring one hour-he really needs to pee-until the club finally disbands practice. Kaidoh however, stays behind. He’s probably going to train more like always. What an ass. But at least this gives him a chance to confront him. Momoshiro waits until the field is empty and everyone has left, only Kaidoh is left still, this time using a jump rope (does he ever stop to take a break?). The atmosphere reminds him a lot of that day Kaidoh ran away; the sun is slowly setting in the distance, and the air is cooling down and isn’t so unbearably hot anymore. This just makes him feel even weirder about confronting Kaidoh, but he has to do it. It has to happen.
So Momoshiro sneakily creeps up to that patch of grass, being quiet and inconspicuous. When he realizes Kaidoh’s as blind as he’s an idiot, he steps out into the open, right behind Kaidoh.
“Practicing late?” Momoshiro asks as nonchalantly as possible. He crosses his arms across his chest, and waits for Kaidoh’s reaction.
He doesn’t have to wait long; Kaidoh mistimes his jump, and his foot gets entangled with the rope, causing him to trip and fall flat on his face. Momoshiro doesn’t know whether to laugh, or help him get up, or just say nothing at all. He opts for the latter.
Kaidoh frantically picks himself up and he whirls around to face Momoshiro, and as soon as he does, he starts racing away from him, like his ass has been set on fire. Momoshiro yells out Kaidoh’s name, picks up the jump rope Kaidoh left behind, and gives chase. Unfortunately, Kaidoh is still the better runner here, so it doesn’t take long for Kaidoh to leave Momoshiro behind with a safe enough distance between them. But Momoshiro is persistent, and follows Kaidoh out of the field, and towards the park next to their school instead.
“Stop running you asshole!” Momoshiro yells after him. All he can see are the soles of Kaidoh’s shoes, as he never once turns around to face him. This is getting super irritating. Can’t the guy just give up?
Soon they’re running in the park, where the trees are giving them plenty of shade, and makes it harder for Kaidoh to run in a straight line, as he has to zigzag his way through the numerous small paths. This gives Momoshiro a chance to catch up, and when he’s finally close enough, he flings the jump rope at Kaidoh’s feet like a whip. It works as he intended; it catches around Kaidoh’s ankles, and causes him to trip up. And down he goes once again. Momoshiro throws his fist up in the air as a silent victory, and quickly runs up to Kaidoh before he can get up and run away.
“Why the hell are you running away from me!?” Momoshiro demands to know. He rests his hands on his knees and takes a few large breaths to steady his breathing. Kaidoh is curled up on the ground, hugging his knees and burying his head into the dirt, as if he’s hiding. He’s doing a terrible job at that.
Momoshiro is annoyed at Kaidoh’s lack of response, and nudges him in the side with his foot. Kaidoh simply whimpers.
“D-don’t look at me,” Kaidoh says nervously.
“Huh?” Momoshiro circles around Kaidoh until he’s in front of him, staring down at his curled up body. “What are you doing? Get up.” Kaidoh doesn’t budge. Momoshiro bends down to face him instead, and reaches out for his wrist to get him up. As soon as his fingers touch Kaidoh’s skin, Kaidoh yanks it back as if he’s been burned, and he finally sits up straight.
“Don’t!” Kaidoh cries out. Then he hides his face with both his arms, refusing to look straight at Momoshiro. “I told you not to look at me!”
“Jesus Kaidoh, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Momoshiro asks, annoyed and frustrated at this entire thing. He tilts his head a bit to the left so he can try to sneak a peek at Kaidoh’s face, which he’s so desperately trying to hide. In this low lighting of the sunset and all the shade from the trees, it’s hard to make out what he looks like anyway, so Momoshiro isn’t sure why he’s panicking over having his face shown. Did he get an awful scar or something?
“Just leave me alone,” Kaidoh hisses out. “Go away.”
“What, so you can ignore me again? Don’t think so. Why don’t you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me, huh?” Momoshiro cranes his neck around this time, but Kaidoh is equally as observant, and immediately shields his face again with his hands and arms. Kaidoh refuses to say anything though, so this is pissing him off even more. “You’re not even going to talk to me now? Fucking asshole, I’m going to kick your ass.” Momoshiro leans forward and manages to grab one of Kaidoh’s wrists, this time having a firm grip on it. Kaidoh yelps as soon as he’s captured and tries to break free, but Momoshiro pulls it away from his face.
“Let go!” Kaidoh yells desperately. “Can’t you just fucking leave me alone!?”
Now he knows why Kaidoh was so desperate to hide his face. It’s beet red. At first Momoshiro thinks it’s a rash, a real nasty rash he’s gotten from his sunburn-but then he realizes that the shade of red is turning darker, and it’s spreading across his cheeks onto his neck and ears. That’s not a rash, that’s a fully fledged blush. The realization that Kaidoh is actually blushing till the roots of his hair right in front of him, makes Momoshiro squirm and feel embarrassed too. It’s contagious.
“Why are you ...” So red? But instead, Momoshiro asks, “Why did you do that?” Putting a lot of emphasis on ‘that’. He doesn’t let Kaidoh’s wrist go, in fear of him running off again. He’s still desperately trying to cover up his face, mostly by turning it away from Momoshiro.
“I didn’t do anything,” Kaidoh grumbles. He tries to yank his wrist back, which causes a small tug-a-war between them, as Momoshiro still refused to let go.
“Yeah, and you’re totally looking at me right now, huh,” Momoshiro says sarcastically. “Don’t avoid the subject. You’ve done enough avoiding already, and it’s pissing me off.”
“Nothing happened, there’s nothing to avoid,” Kaidoh says with a low growl.
“And now you’re denying it? What the hell Kaidoh. Stop it already. You’re being an annoying douchebag.” Momoshiro shakes Kaidoh’s wrist and pulls him closer, wanting to look him in the eye. He doesn’t want to look at Kaidoh the coward.
“It was a mistake,” Kaidoh says. “So drop it and let me go!”
And this time, Momoshiro does let Kaidoh go, perplexed at Kaidoh’s statement. “A mistake?” he echoes.
Kaidoh backs away from him, hugging his wrist to his chest and quickly standing up straight, then turning his back on Momoshiro. For a second, Momoshiro thinks he’s going to run away again, but Kaidoh stays put this time. Though his legs are shaking.
“It was nothing,” Kaidoh bites out. “Forget about it.”
“I can’t,” Momoshiro admits. He hasn’t stopped thinking about it once. What it all meant. Why Kaidoh did it. Why he avoided him straightly afterwards. And more importantly, why Momoshiro wasn’t vomiting in disgust right afterwards. No, instead he tried to talk to Kaidoh to find out why he did it, why this all happened.
“Don’t ...” Kaidoh sighs. “Say things like that. I’ll ...” he trails off, not saying anything else.
“You’ll what?” Momoshiro asks. He’ll what exactly?
“Nothing,” he says in a louder voice. He straightens up his back, and gets ready to run. “I’m going.”
As a pure reflex, Momoshiro throws himself at Kaidoh, hoping to grab some kind of body part to prevent him from leaving again. He ends up digging his fists into Kaidoh’s shirt and yanking him back. “No! Tell me why you’re avoiding it! Why did you do it!?” Momoshiro sounds desperate and needy-he really wants to have some answers. He can see Kaidoh’s fists balling up until his knuckles turn white, and he’s keeping them restrained at his hips, like he’s about to punch himself. He doesn’t say anything though, so Momoshiro continues. “Why won’t you even look at me?” and this time, there an edge to Momoshiro’s voice. Like it isn’t just annoying that Kaidoh won’t look at him, but that it’s actually a bit hurtful as well.
“Because!” Kaidoh suddenly yells out. “Because ...” he repeats in a softer voice. “When I look at you I ...”
Momoshiro starts to lean in closer, the grip on Kaidoh’s shirt slipping off, as his ears are perked up to listen o what Kaidoh has to say. “You what?” He tugs on his shirt. “You what, Kaidoh?”
Kaidoh hisses. “Nothing. Nevermind. Forget about it.”
Having enough of Kaidoh avoiding the question, Momoshiro jabs his elbow into Kaidoh’s back, causing him to groan out loud in pain. Then he quickly circles around Kaidoh’s body and places both his hands on his shoulders, standing directly in front of him.
“Why can’t you look at me?” Momoshiro asks. He looks right at Kaidoh, ignoring his massive blush that keeps changing colours, but instead staring at his eyes. Those eyes that won’t look at him. He wants to scream; look at me! Why is it so important for Kaidoh to look at him all of the sudden?
“I hate you ...” Kaidoh grits out. “I really do.” And yet all of his body language indicates the opposite. He doesn’t hate Momoshiro at all.
“I just ... want to know.” Momoshiro moves his hands away from Kaidoh’s shoulders, and trails it up his neck until he cups both of Kaidoh’s cheeks, and forces him to turn his head to face him. His eyes are still not looking at him though, instead are casted down his shirt instead. “Why?”
“You are such a clueless idiot,” Kaidoh groans out. “It’s all your fault! If you hadn’t fallen asleep that one time, I could have been just fine without you!”
“Huh, what are you talking about?” Also, what does Kaidoh mean with he’d be fine without him? Does that mean he isn’t fine without him right now? That ludicrous thought makes his chest all jumbled and tight. “Are you still hung up about that? Geez, I already said I was sorry! What more do you want from me!?”
“You really don’t remember, do you,” Kaidoh says. He sounds tired, like he’s been holding in a secret all this time, and it’s finally coming out.
“Remember what?”
Kaidoh slowly hisses, his breath making Momoshiro feel even more nauseous than he already is from this whole ordeal. “You ... fell asleep like a dumb oaf.”
“Yeah, so fucking what?” Momoshiro bites back.
“Fell asleep ... on me,” Kaidoh says awkwardly.
Momoshiro frowns; okay so he fell asleep and slumped up against Kaidoh. So what. Why does this matter? He’s definitely missing something here, because surely Kaidoh can’t be pissed off about that. “... And?” Momoshiro asks, wondering if that’s something Kaidoh still isn’t telling him.
Kaidoh grunts, snarling at Momoshiro with his lips. He tries to shake Momoshiro’s hands off his face, but to no avail. “You stupid moron. It doesn’t matter. Forget it. Let me go so we can go back home.”
Deeply frustrated with getting Kaidoh to talk, and only getting little bits of information each time, but not enough to get the whole picture, something inside of Momoshiro snaps. Probably his rationale. Because for some reason, he’s pulling Kaidoh’s face closer to his own, so he can smash their lips together. It’s Kaidoh who backs away lightning fast this time, Momoshiro’s hands slipping away from his cheeks, and Kaidoh’s eyes are wide open and finally looking at him.
“What the hell, Momoshiro?” Kaidoh looks confused and angry. The exact same look Momoshiro had when Kaidoh did this time him last time.
Momoshiro himself has no idea what possessed him to do it either. It’s not like he wanted to. It’s not like he’s ever thought about it. It’s not like he’s ever had the urge to do it either. So why do it? He has no idea. “That’s what you did to me, then you ran off. I want to know why you did it.”
With Kaidoh’s eyes finally looking at him again, he sees a hundred different emotions flash before him. Anger, confusion are the most prominent ones, but he also sees hurt, longing and embarrassment. Kaidoh’s eyes have never told him this much, but now that he’s staring right at Momoshiro again, Momoshiro feels like he’s staring straight into Kaidoh’s soul. Like he can see everything that’s written on Kaidoh’s face. All of his fears and all of his wants. And those desires are being reflected back to him. He can see his own reflection in Kaidoh’s eyes-Momoshiro is bearing the same expressions as Kaidoh is. It confounds him, absolutely confuses him to no end, but he doesn’t look away. Doesn’t want to anymore. He just wants to know; why?
“I mis ... misunderstood,” Kaidoh says with a strained voice. “I thought you ...”
As Kaidoh talks, Momoshiro can see how his lips quiver, how his eyebrows melt together in a permanent frown, and how his eyes are unwavering and look like pools of dark water. It makes Momoshiro’s knees feel weak. His entire body feels weak. Maybe he should have taken Kaidoh’s advice after all, and worked out so he’s not so weak anymore.
“Thought what?” he asks, and takes a small step closer, shortening the distance between both of their bodies. He’s hanging onto each word Kaidoh says as if it’s his last lifeline.
“You ...” Kaidoh presses his lips into a thin line, like he’s unsure if he should say what’s about to come next. “Wanted to ... too ...” he finally says with a shaky breath.
Momoshiro blinks up at him. “Me?” Wanted to kiss Kaidoh? “What, how did you get that idea-wait, too?”
Kaidoh firmly snaps his mouth shut and says nothing, simply staring into Momoshiro’s eyes.
And now Momoshiro knows why they never looked at each other as they did it. Why they were always avoiding each other’s eyes like this. Because like this, just looking at Kaidoh right now, it’s like all of his fears came true.
As long as they don’t look at each other, then it can stay platonic.
As long as they won’t touch each other more, then they can pretend they don’t want it.
As long as they stay clothed, then it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not important.
But it is. All of it has been. All of it had escalated, and their eyes are betraying them. No matter how hard Momoshiro’s brain tries to convince him that this is not real, this is not true, and that he doesn’t feel like this at all, it’s hard to deny when he’s in front of Kaidoh like this. Looking at him. His entire body suddenly wants nothing more than to look at Kaidoh, than to touch him, than to feel skin on skin-his heart is loudly thumping in agreement.
Kaidoh’s long saw what Momoshiro has tried very hard to ignore, or to acknowledge it even existed. That this has become something else. Something that wasn’t there before. It wasn’t a drastic change or anything, it was subtle and slow. And now that Momoshiro is thinking about it clearly, it doesn’t come to him as a sudden realization. It just makes sense all of the sudden, like puzzle pieces falling into place. Like he finally understands. And apparently, Kaidoh has known about this much longer than he has.
Then again, Kaidoh’s always been the person that understood him the most. He’s always known things about Momoshiro that he didn’t even know himself.
Kaidoh shifts awkwardly under Momoshiro’s strong gaze. “I said forget about it. Doesn’t matter. It was a mistake, yeah. A stupid one.”
Momoshiro snaps out of his daze and glares at Kaidoh. “You’re the stupid one,” he fires back.
“Asshole, why don’t you go jump off a bridge and leave me alone already.”
“I’ll only jump if you’ll jump.”
“Then you’ll be waiting for an eternity. I’ll just push you off, okay?”
“I’ll drag you down with me.”
“Even when you’re plummeting to your death you’re still an asshole.”
“At least I don’t regret any of my mistakes,” says Momoshiro. His heart leaps against his chest painfully.
“Your entire life has been a mistake,” Kaidoh grunts.
Momoshiro bites down on his lip and he’s tempted to just punch Kaidoh in the face and leave him behind. “Watch your mouth Mamushi.”
“Or what?” Kaidoh challenges him.
“Or this time, it won’t be a mistake.”
“Huh?” Kaidoh says lamely. “What are you talking about?”
“Hey, let’s go back to our room already. I mean, aren’t you scared of hanging out here in the dark, with all these creepy shadows that look like grabbing hands all around us?”
Kaidoh yelps and suddenly looks down frantically at the ground, as if he’s spotted a mouse. That deep red colour quickly drains from his face, leaving him looking pale. “Y-yeah, okay,” he stutters. Kaidoh creeps closer to Momoshiro, it’s pretty obvious he’s gotten acutely aware of his surroundings all of the sudden.
“Oh, and one last thing, Kaidoh.”
After whipping his head left and right to spot any lurking dangers in the shadows, Kaidoh looks back at Momoshiro. “What?”
“When we get back, you better suck me off this time.”
And just like that, the colour is back in Kaidoh’s face again. “Asshole, I told you that’s not what mouths are for!”
Momoshiro snickers. Kaidoh might think their mouths are for eating and talking, but Momoshiro knows two other things they can do with it.
Chapter 2