mixed emotions.

and extremely lonely.

i found happiness with you, but i threw it out the window. over and over again. so how i feel now, is well deserved. maybe someday i'll forgive myself.  but i see this as round #2. fucking bitch you say?  yes .... agreed.

i miss paul.  weird?  i know.  but im sure he's happy now.  im sure he has found real love, ( Read more... )

Usually every night or so before i fall asleep, i get real comfy and cozy in my bed. i try to clear my mind of everything except fantasies. my most creative sexual thoughts exist in that place between awake and asleep. you would never even know.

shit.  its june already.

I'm going home tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to it.  I miss my family and my friends. I cant believe my little brother is graduating. Its making me feel so freakin old. Really.  I'm so proud of him though, its been a long road for him I know, and this is just such a great thing.  I love him to death. really, i do ( Read more... )

HEY!!

yea you!

.. if you read this ..

LEAVE A COMMENT

saying "I DO"

or something like that.

Just cause I'm curious.

And if you dont have a livejournal account you can still leave a comment ... choose anonnymous ... and then sign your name .. or dont. up to you.

but yea ..

if you read this, take 30 seconds and let me know. :p

i want to wake up next to you. everyday. until it starts to get old, which it never will. i dont think you will ever know how much you mean to me.

im kind of emotional right now and all i want to do is cuddle up in a big bed with lots of pillows and rest. with someone warm. i feel empty.

so much to do before i go. but i cant wait. <33

I was just outside ... sleeping on the bench waiting for my next class.  It was very nice to relax and have the sun beeming down onmy face.  When I woke up, Theresa told me that a man came up to me, checked to see if I was really sleeping and proceeded to take pictures of me.  What?!  yea, a little weird.  i wonder where my pictures will end up.  I ( Read more... )

Watch my life pass me by
in the rearview mirror
pictures frozen in time
are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
stuck in the shadow of my mistakes
Cause I want you
and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burnin
to find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded
I'm half the girl I thought I would be
But you ( Read more... )

Anybody happen to catch Nightline last night on ABC? In case you didn't, one of the hot topics discussed was MySpace. It is no secret to anyone who reads the newspaper or watches the 6 o'clock news that MySpace has been in the limelight because of "sexual predators" trying to "abduct and corrupt" the youth of the world. To this I say bullshit! I ( Read more... )

You aren't going to be her first, her last, or her only. She's loved before, she will again, but if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if she can make you laugh at least once, cause you to think twice, and admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her ( Read more... )

sometimes i wish people would tell me the truth.