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I've Already Died
Mentally, I'm dead. Spiritually, I'm dead. Socially, I've never even been alive. The next step is my physical death, and then it will all be over. Everyone says suicide survivors are grateful to be alive after their attempts to kill themselves. What about the people who try again--multiple times? After all the years I've spent pondering over ( Read more... ) -
Dear Mind...
I quit. You suck. You're unfair. You're horrible. You're spiteful. You're cruel. I don't want to live with you anymore. You're the biggest curse I've ever received. You're a blessing to some, and that's a beautiful thing, but I don't have any use for you. Go away. Leave me alone. Stop talking to me. Stop speaking for me. Stop making me cry. I hate ( Read more... ) -
What's Wrong With Me?
Whenever I think about my faith, I'm faced with so much guilt and anger. I want to cry whenever I hear about God. Or hit something. And when I say I'm a Christian, I feel like I don't have the right to call myself one. What's happening to me? I'm so scared. I don't want to be against God, but I can't stop the thoughts going through my head. They ( Read more... ) -
Pills- A poem
I wish I could consume a lot pills and die immediately.
I wish I could press a button and end it all.
I wish I could take some medicine to put me to sleep forever.
I wish there were pills to make me numb.
I wish I didn't have to work.
I wish I didn't have to talk.
I wish no one expected me to live.
I wish every day was my last.
I wish I didn't exist.
I wish ( Read more... ) -
I Can't Believe
I can't believe people think God cares about us. And they don't just thinkHe does. They are adamant, certain and absolutely sure He does. But look at the world! Are we really under the control of a loving God? Even the saints of the saints, those who have been faithful and obedient servants of God for decades, are not immune from the unfortunate ( Read more... ) -
One Thing I Won't Allow
I won't allow myself to be hurt by the things I fear. I'm beyond caring at this point. Que sera, sera. There's nothing I can do. Bring it on, life. I'm already dead inside.
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I'm Not Afraid Anymore
To die, that is.
I'm not looking for pity, sympathy or comfort. I don't expect anyone to stick around when I'm such a pain to be around. Why should anyone sacrifice their own well-being to help me? I don't care what those quack psychologists have to say: I'm not deserving of help. I'm no more important than anyone else. Save your time and resources ( Read more... ) -
Life Isn't Short
#yolo
#lifeisshort
Two of the many phrases people say to emphasize the apparent shortness of life. But for the average person, life isn't short at all. I guess the depression makes it feel like life is never-ending. But statistically speaking, I'm going to live to at least 70 years old. That means I have 49 years of life left. Of course that's not a ( Read more... ) -
What's the Point?
My life is pointless, and I hate it. I never do anything. I just sit on my computer, listen to music, play the sims, roam the Internet and do absolutely nothing. I have no friends (and even if I did, I would push them away). I only go out to work, and the only people I talk to away from home are my coworkers. And I'm not close to them nor do they ( Read more... ) -
Decided
I think I know what my suicide method of choice is going to be. Overdose on medication. It's not pain-free or quick, but it's cleaner and less violent than the others. I'm probably going to use extra strength Tylenol or some form of aspirin. All I need now is a date, place and time. I could also just be talking out loud, since this whole plan makes ( Read more... )